What a time you are having! I do hope you sleep tonight and have a quiet day tomorrow. Your parents are both being looked after, so now it's your turn to rest. Xxx
I care for mum and dad both with dementia
- Thread starter Jaff
- Start date
Worried over mum now.
Mum still not right. She seems more confused. Than normal... if you know what I mean.... Mum still got a bad chest... I am hoping.... I am getting shouted at.. a cutting up her food... as her hands still swollen... she complains she can not lift the glass up for her drink... but a few seconds before she did herself.. she will not talk to anyone. In the ward... and when I do.... her face... angry.... because I am trying to help some else... Mum does have the start. Of dementia.. I think it's gone little worse. Now..... while I was with her this morning I received a call from dad's ward .. that the Dr wAnts to see me.... told mum will be back later.. she goes how much later. When I say I don't know she pulls a face.... I said to mum look... you can eat your dinner. But poor dad can not.. so let me go and see if I can help him.... all right. Then. I got......... well got a few words out of dad... got four spoons of soup... and then ice cream. Which he eat half. Then curls up in a ball in pain.... then nothing out of him for two hours... Dr came.. wanted me to know he was not eating. ( which I all ready know. Have been going every day ) wanted back round information. And I also tell him he's in pain. He will not take tablet s
So going to give dad patches . I hope they work...... m have just rang up. To see if he's eaten anything. No was the reply... I have tried. Music. The songs he likes. Photos .. talked about my childhood. And what we did together... to keep him awake long enough. To try and eat and drink. But nothing.. so so worried over him....... then I go back to mum... and report how dad is........ have spent all day in the hospital... then I have a long journey home.. I said blow it getting a taxi.... got in and fell asleep... now I am wide awake crying. And for some reason my right thumb playing up.. what next... I ask myself....
Mum still not right. She seems more confused. Than normal... if you know what I mean.... Mum still got a bad chest... I am hoping.... I am getting shouted at.. a cutting up her food... as her hands still swollen... she complains she can not lift the glass up for her drink... but a few seconds before she did herself.. she will not talk to anyone. In the ward... and when I do.... her face... angry.... because I am trying to help some else... Mum does have the start. Of dementia.. I think it's gone little worse. Now..... while I was with her this morning I received a call from dad's ward .. that the Dr wAnts to see me.... told mum will be back later.. she goes how much later. When I say I don't know she pulls a face.... I said to mum look... you can eat your dinner. But poor dad can not.. so let me go and see if I can help him.... all right. Then. I got......... well got a few words out of dad... got four spoons of soup... and then ice cream. Which he eat half. Then curls up in a ball in pain.... then nothing out of him for two hours... Dr came.. wanted me to know he was not eating. ( which I all ready know. Have been going every day ) wanted back round information. And I also tell him he's in pain. He will not take tablet s
So going to give dad patches . I hope they work...... m have just rang up. To see if he's eaten anything. No was the reply... I have tried. Music. The songs he likes. Photos .. talked about my childhood. And what we did together... to keep him awake long enough. To try and eat and drink. But nothing.. so so worried over him....... then I go back to mum... and report how dad is........ have spent all day in the hospital... then I have a long journey home.. I said blow it getting a taxi.... got in and fell asleep... now I am wide awake crying. And for some reason my right thumb playing up.. what next... I ask myself....
Heartbroken
Sitting here beside dad.... omg..... there is hardly anything of him.... he woke for second... please dad where does it hurt.... back... sore..... Dr came in they are going to put him on a fasttrack.. to a nursing home....... what does fast track. What does that mean..... they want family to come and try feed him. There only me... I can not stop crying . This is awful...... he just will not wake up.
Sitting here beside dad.... omg..... there is hardly anything of him.... he woke for second... please dad where does it hurt.... back... sore..... Dr came in they are going to put him on a fasttrack.. to a nursing home....... what does fast track. What does that mean..... they want family to come and try feed him. There only me... I can not stop crying . This is awful...... he just will not wake up.
oh my goodness Jaff, how hard all this is for you
my understanding is that fast track means that the move will be organised immediately as your dad's situation demands that he have nursing care all day every day
hopefully this will take some of the strain from you - I'm not sure why you would then be asked to help feed him
please do get back to the Dr and have a chat - maybe write down any questions you have beforehand to make sure you get all the answers you need (I do this, as I know there'll be something I forget) - hopefully the nursing home staff will talk things over with you and support you too
is your mum still in hospital? maybe cut down your time visiting
please take some time for yourself, even just a few minutes to sit and relax - I know, that's easy for me to write and feels impossible to do
my understanding is that fast track means that the move will be organised immediately as your dad's situation demands that he have nursing care all day every day
hopefully this will take some of the strain from you - I'm not sure why you would then be asked to help feed him
please do get back to the Dr and have a chat - maybe write down any questions you have beforehand to make sure you get all the answers you need (I do this, as I know there'll be something I forget) - hopefully the nursing home staff will talk things over with you and support you too
is your mum still in hospital? maybe cut down your time visiting
please take some time for yourself, even just a few minutes to sit and relax - I know, that's easy for me to write and feels impossible to do
Emotional.
Yes mum still in hospital....... Went to see her and got agreed with why did you not come and get me from the chippy.... they left me there. I was hopping you would come and pick me up. Awful I have nothing to eat all day.... where I tried not to cry again.... Went to the nurse.... asked what's happening. Mum might be discharged soon.... great I say. But she still confused... then the Dr came round.. it's normal what mums going through at the moment....... then he asked about dad... and arranged for mum to go and sèe dad...... me along with three other nurses had tears in there eyes as. They have not seen each other since dad's birthday on the 2 of Feb..... dad gave a little smile and said nice to see you..... then a little sleep then woke up a bit... then sleep.... Mum had trouble hearing dad.. as he whispers... Mum gone back to her ward now. They brought her across in a wheelchair. Sitting here now to see if I can give dad his tea.... what a very emotional day..... many thanks who give there time up to answer me... I am very grateful....
Yes mum still in hospital....... Went to see her and got agreed with why did you not come and get me from the chippy.... they left me there. I was hopping you would come and pick me up. Awful I have nothing to eat all day.... where I tried not to cry again.... Went to the nurse.... asked what's happening. Mum might be discharged soon.... great I say. But she still confused... then the Dr came round.. it's normal what mums going through at the moment....... then he asked about dad... and arranged for mum to go and sèe dad...... me along with three other nurses had tears in there eyes as. They have not seen each other since dad's birthday on the 2 of Feb..... dad gave a little smile and said nice to see you..... then a little sleep then woke up a bit... then sleep.... Mum had trouble hearing dad.. as he whispers... Mum gone back to her ward now. They brought her across in a wheelchair. Sitting here now to see if I can give dad his tea.... what a very emotional day..... many thanks who give there time up to answer me... I am very grateful....
They do everything together. Even though they don't see each other.
Came to see dad this morning. And here's double up inpain.. I go find Dr and they give him morphine. I cry and cry. Don't leave him like this..... then the discharge nurse comes and we go and have a chat.... they are saying to me dad's roughly got three months... and they are looking for a nursing home for him..... then I go and see mum... still in the same hospital as dad....... and the discharge nurse comes and tells me they are looking for a home. so mum learns to walk again unbelievable. It's a different discharge nurse from dad. But work in the same office... I tell her the name of the one she left in February. The nurse is going to try and see if she can get her back in..... mum and dad are unbelievable they do everything together....... have told both nurses don't move them the same day. As I can not split myself in two...... now I am with dad.... asking for help. Oh my here I go again crying.
Came to see dad this morning. And here's double up inpain.. I go find Dr and they give him morphine. I cry and cry. Don't leave him like this..... then the discharge nurse comes and we go and have a chat.... they are saying to me dad's roughly got three months... and they are looking for a nursing home for him..... then I go and see mum... still in the same hospital as dad....... and the discharge nurse comes and tells me they are looking for a home. so mum learns to walk again unbelievable. It's a different discharge nurse from dad. But work in the same office... I tell her the name of the one she left in February. The nurse is going to try and see if she can get her back in..... mum and dad are unbelievable they do everything together....... have told both nurses don't move them the same day. As I can not split myself in two...... now I am with dad.... asking for help. Oh my here I go again crying.
Lack of communication. What's the matter with these departments.
Ok. Have not been on here for a bit
As I am going mad with lack of communication between. Care homes
hospital. Discharge nurses. Wards.. Mum on ward 32.
. Dad on ward 8
Ok. Now I tell everyone I speak to
Don't Discharge them on the same day..... got told today. Both are getting discharged... to difference Care homes tomorrow.... please can any one tell me
How I can split myself in two.....
. I just don't believe it.... Dad. It goes without saying have to go with him. He is telling me know that he can not see. And its worrying him.. he is very very thin. Some days I say my self the Dr got it wrong... as some day he
Will eat... this last week we just got him to eat a weetabix. Then yogurt... and water that looks like paste.. some days he will talk.. and others he would cry out in pain.... he knows who I am
And ask about mum. And lol
He flirts with the nurses. Is he at the end of life... the good days I say no
Bad days I say yes.... I don't know.? Can anyone help... he's now going into a nursing home.. with palliative Care. I would like some help. If Any one gone through this... I just can not believe this Is the end.? Or near. The Dr has given me three months.....
What happened. If he survives three months
What happenes then? Walked out of the hospital today and they said leave it to them who's coming out first tomorrow... so now I wait. For a phone call...... told you they do everything together. Mum not to bad going into care home to build her conference. On learning to walk... problem. Mum now has arthritis in her hands. Hard to push up out of chair... and to hold Zimmer.... I really don't know what's going to happen..
Ok. Have not been on here for a bit
As I am going mad with lack of communication between. Care homes
hospital. Discharge nurses. Wards.. Mum on ward 32.
. Dad on ward 8
Ok. Now I tell everyone I speak to
Don't Discharge them on the same day..... got told today. Both are getting discharged... to difference Care homes tomorrow.... please can any one tell me
How I can split myself in two.....
. I just don't believe it.... Dad. It goes without saying have to go with him. He is telling me know that he can not see. And its worrying him.. he is very very thin. Some days I say my self the Dr got it wrong... as some day he
Will eat... this last week we just got him to eat a weetabix. Then yogurt... and water that looks like paste.. some days he will talk.. and others he would cry out in pain.... he knows who I am
And ask about mum. And lol
He flirts with the nurses. Is he at the end of life... the good days I say no
Bad days I say yes.... I don't know.? Can anyone help... he's now going into a nursing home.. with palliative Care. I would like some help. If Any one gone through this... I just can not believe this Is the end.? Or near. The Dr has given me three months.....
What happened. If he survives three months
What happenes then? Walked out of the hospital today and they said leave it to them who's coming out first tomorrow... so now I wait. For a phone call...... told you they do everything together. Mum not to bad going into care home to build her conference. On learning to walk... problem. Mum now has arthritis in her hands. Hard to push up out of chair... and to hold Zimmer.... I really don't know what's going to happen..
Fed up
Not on a good mood... phone playing up now. Mum and dad did not go today. Bed not ready for mum. Dad place say I request wen or Thursday.this was the hospital as thdy thought mum would go first. I give up. Please. I can not take any more. How many Times have i got to tell people
You watch . They end up leAving together going different homes. Have told mum she might have to go without me.. and I would have to follow next day..
. But I don't know why I should. Poor mum scared. I feel so sorry for her. The staff nurse on today said they would hold her up... one day.... here's hoping..... so now I wait for a phone call off dad's ward tomorrow morning. At nine.... just say I am not hiding my breath.... talk about a black cloud round me...... things just keep go i g wrong..... likely phone
.. oh I give up... sorry for having a rant.. have nobody to talk to..
Not on a good mood... phone playing up now. Mum and dad did not go today. Bed not ready for mum. Dad place say I request wen or Thursday.this was the hospital as thdy thought mum would go first. I give up. Please. I can not take any more. How many Times have i got to tell people
You watch . They end up leAving together going different homes. Have told mum she might have to go without me.. and I would have to follow next day..
. But I don't know why I should. Poor mum scared. I feel so sorry for her. The staff nurse on today said they would hold her up... one day.... here's hoping..... so now I wait for a phone call off dad's ward tomorrow morning. At nine.... just say I am not hiding my breath.... talk about a black cloud round me...... things just keep go i g wrong..... likely phone
.. oh I give up... sorry for having a rant.. have nobody to talk to..
Jaff, you are welcome to have a rant at any time. If you cant rant on here, then where can you?
It must be so hard with the uncertainty surrounding both parents - its hard enough with one. It sounds like the staff on the wards are trying to support you - such a shame your mum didnt move today
Hopefully your dad will move tomorrow.
x
It must be so hard with the uncertainty surrounding both parents - its hard enough with one. It sounds like the staff on the wards are trying to support you - such a shame your mum didnt move today
Hopefully your dad will move tomorrow.x
Still fed up
Ok my day was busy. And upsetting. Phone call eight in the morning. Dad going tomorrow. To the n. H. Ok. I rang to ask if I can take dad's belongings today... and try make it nice.. yes I could... that went ok... that took all morning up.... when I go and see dad. It one in the afternoon.... he's say not well. I got an upset tummy. And was crying.... never. In all my life have I seen dad cry.... so I ran for the nurses.... and now poor dad. Did have a upset tummy..... which might stop him leaving tomorrow.... tried to ring though to ward before I came on here. Got told to ring back in a hour. As they are given meds out.... have been upset all day worrying about dad......... then go and see mum... to be told she is leaving on Friday.... Dr comes while I am there and blood came back showing a infection. Which they think its mums hands as she has guount
So now mum got more tablets to take. I asked will they ever get better. They hope the tablets will work. No yes or no. We have to wait and see.... I come home exhausted.. my mind will not switch off... that's why I am on here.. I will just have to wait and see what tomorrow brings.. x thanks for the support guys. I really am grateful.
Ok my day was busy. And upsetting. Phone call eight in the morning. Dad going tomorrow. To the n. H. Ok. I rang to ask if I can take dad's belongings today... and try make it nice.. yes I could... that went ok... that took all morning up.... when I go and see dad. It one in the afternoon.... he's say not well. I got an upset tummy. And was crying.... never. In all my life have I seen dad cry.... so I ran for the nurses.... and now poor dad. Did have a upset tummy..... which might stop him leaving tomorrow.... tried to ring though to ward before I came on here. Got told to ring back in a hour. As they are given meds out.... have been upset all day worrying about dad......... then go and see mum... to be told she is leaving on Friday.... Dr comes while I am there and blood came back showing a infection. Which they think its mums hands as she has guount
So now mum got more tablets to take. I asked will they ever get better. They hope the tablets will work. No yes or no. We have to wait and see.... I come home exhausted.. my mind will not switch off... that's why I am on here.. I will just have to wait and see what tomorrow brings.. x thanks for the support guys. I really am grateful.
Dad has moved to n. H.
Well it actually happened.. dads moved to a nursing home. We had a few false starts... so went to see Mum. Then I got a call. That they have rang for a ambulance. And everything was in place for dad. . Then we waited for four hours... ... was I glad. I had spent the time there. The day before sorting out the room.... as he has moved from one side of the building. To the other... all he wanted was to see his t. V..... which the handyman. Had sett it up for me. His face lit up. When he saw his photos on the wall...... the only thing now... he is very upset. Because his eye sight gone fuzzy. The home going th check it out for me today.... as... today.... should be mums moving day....... the opposite side of the city....... a other wait to see. If they got everything for mum... then waiting for a ambulance.... crazy......... let see what happens........ hoping... not holding my breath...... and see if I can get the weekend off....... as I have to travel 20 miles each day ( that's one way). before I get to see mum and dad. Fingers cross. That the move goes well. And hoping that mum and I like this place. As I have not seen it. Only googled it.....
Well it actually happened.. dads moved to a nursing home. We had a few false starts... so went to see Mum. Then I got a call. That they have rang for a ambulance. And everything was in place for dad. . Then we waited for four hours... ... was I glad. I had spent the time there. The day before sorting out the room.... as he has moved from one side of the building. To the other... all he wanted was to see his t. V..... which the handyman. Had sett it up for me. His face lit up. When he saw his photos on the wall...... the only thing now... he is very upset. Because his eye sight gone fuzzy. The home going th check it out for me today.... as... today.... should be mums moving day....... the opposite side of the city....... a other wait to see. If they got everything for mum... then waiting for a ambulance.... crazy......... let see what happens........ hoping... not holding my breath...... and see if I can get the weekend off....... as I have to travel 20 miles each day ( that's one way). before I get to see mum and dad. Fingers cross. That the move goes well. And hoping that mum and I like this place. As I have not seen it. Only googled it.....
Well done Jaff, you're being absolutely amazing dealing with all this. Hang on in there, you're so nearly there now. Hope your Dad settles in soon and that your Mum's OK and her move goes ahead smoothly today. Try and take some time out for yourself this weekend to recover yourself.
Oh, thank goodness things are happening after the false starts! I know it feels crazy, but its better than being in limbo-land and you are going to be able to accompany both parents (which I know was your worst fear).
Im glad your dad likes his room and I hope he settles quickly - and also that they find out what is happening with his sight.
I do hope that your mum can be moved today and it all goes well.
It would be good if you can get the week-end off and just relax. Dont try to do anything else over the week-end. You dont have to visit - they will both be safe - and it sounds like you need some space to recover yourself.
xx
Im glad your dad likes his room and I hope he settles quickly - and also that they find out what is happening with his sight.
I do hope that your mum can be moved today and it all goes well.
It would be good if you can get the week-end off and just relax. Dont try to do anything else over the week-end. You dont have to visit - they will both be safe - and it sounds like you need some space to recover yourself.
xx
Not again.
Well this morning. Rang nursing home dad . Had a quite night.. And one of the night staff knew him. With her working on the other side of the home.. so that made better. And guess what.... Mum did not move to day. As the home was not ready for her..... I gave up. Stayed with mum an hour. Then came home went staight to beds. Mum was upset..... she can not see that I need a rest.... felt so guilty... Mum hopefully going tomorrow morning. The staff on the ward said I could have breakfast there...... so got taxi booked for 7-30 am.......... there goes my weekend....... Mum always does this to me...
Makes me feel guilty... so after she is settled... try. Try.. to come home.... you watch she will find something so I don't have to go.... nothing that I plan for works out...... so that's where I up to... tired so tired.
Well this morning. Rang nursing home dad . Had a quite night.. And one of the night staff knew him. With her working on the other side of the home.. so that made better. And guess what.... Mum did not move to day. As the home was not ready for her..... I gave up. Stayed with mum an hour. Then came home went staight to beds. Mum was upset..... she can not see that I need a rest.... felt so guilty... Mum hopefully going tomorrow morning. The staff on the ward said I could have breakfast there...... so got taxi booked for 7-30 am.......... there goes my weekend....... Mum always does this to me...
Makes me feel guilty... so after she is settled... try. Try.. to come home.... you watch she will find something so I don't have to go.... nothing that I plan for works out...... so that's where I up to... tired so tired.
Help need wheelchair.
Please can any one advised me where I can buy a second wheelchair. Dads falling a part.... in this home they have there wheelchairs outside there rooms. I will feel ashamed if I took dad's on. ... it's a right mess. With two flat tyres.. like to buy a nice one for him.. can anyone help
Many thanks.
Please can any one advised me where I can buy a second wheelchair. Dads falling a part.... in this home they have there wheelchairs outside there rooms. I will feel ashamed if I took dad's on. ... it's a right mess. With two flat tyres.. like to buy a nice one for him.. can anyone help
Many thanks.
