I can't do this............

Skye

Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
17,000
SW Scotland
I think that's a strong possibility, Jennifer. He was very sore when we tried to move him at the weekend, and I wondered about kidney trouble, but it could just have been bruising from his falls. John of course can let us know it hurts, but not where!

Hopefully it will get sorted.
 

alfjess

Registered User
Jul 10, 2006
1,213
south lanarkshire
Hi Hazel

Thinking of you and John.

I hope that John can get some suitable treatment soon.

I know that when Mum had an UTI she was much more sleepy confused and harder to deal with.

I know you must be worried, but try to take this time for some rest for yourself, if you can.

Love
Alfjess
 

Skye

Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
17,000
SW Scotland
What a day!

Phone call this morning to ask loads of questions about John's history -- as if we hadn't already gone through it three times since Sunday.

Phone call from OT, loads more questions about house, John's abilities, wheather I would be able to manage at home with a care package. Can't answer that until I know how John will recover.

Went in at time given to give him lunch -- he wasn't there! They'd taken him for a scan. Waited an hout for him to come back, and gave him lunch.

Asked the staff nurse when I could see consultant to get results of scan -- if I came back in visiting hours she'd talk to me then.

Home, took Skye out, phones various rellies who'd left messages, went back to hospital.

Saw consultant (she's very nice). John has considerable brain shrinkage, but there's no sign of recent bleed. It may take several weeks for the brain to recover from the infection. He may get back to where he was before, but may not. There's no knowing. It's all 'wait and see'. I may be able to have him home, with a care package, but I may not.

Home again for an hour, then back to give him tea.

Phoned step-son to tell him I was too tired to go back.

Shattered!!!!!!!

Still phone calls to make.

Did someone say something about having a rest?

The good news is, John's a bit better, and is managing to eat a bit.
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
70,358
Kent
Dear Hazel,

Daily hospital visiting is exhausting, especially when you`re exhausted to begin with. And then you get messed about, having to wait for these very important people to condescend to see you, and other very important people asking questions that have either already been asked or cannot be answered.

They don`t try to make it easier for you, do they. I thought the NHS was a service industry.

If John`s a bit better, I suppose that`s something to be thankful for.

Love xx
 

Mameeskye

Registered User
Aug 9, 2007
1,669
55
NZ
Hi Hazel

I am so glad to hear that John is a little better today. Hopefully they will manage to bring him back to you in good condition. Hospitals are very tiring places both as patient and as visitor..plus they just don't cater to their visitors very well. I must admit that Mum's NH is a lot better to the visitors than any hopsital and it is more restful to visit and deal with!

Hope that you can get a good care plan sorted out to enable you to bring him home if that is what you both feel is best.

I hope that you get a good night's sleep tonight. It is surprising how hard it is to rest when you are used to constnat disturbances!

(((hugs))

My thoughts are with you tonight.

Love

Mameeskye

xxx
 

fearful fiona

Registered User
Apr 19, 2007
723
72
London
Dear Hazel,

Just read this thread as I've been a bit of an erratic visitor to TP these last few days. Just to add my thoughts to those of the others, do hope John makes some progress and you can manage to grab some rest.

Thinking of you both.

Much love
 

DeborahBlythe

Registered User
Dec 1, 2006
9,222
Skye said:
I may be able to have him home, with a care package, but I may not...
Hello Hazel, is this quote YOUR assessment of the situation, or THEIRS? Are they saying even if you take him home you may not get the care package you want? If so, that's not on. Or are they saying that they don't think you could cope with him even with a care package?

You must take the reins here. Don't let them fob you off without the care package you need. Don't let them determine the question of whether you can cope or not. You must make up your own mind. Forgive if this is a poor interpretation on my part. You had a recent carer's assessment, didn't you? Make sure that you have included as much as possible extra, if need be, in it now that John's condition has altered slightly.

Skye said:
John's a bit better, and is managing to eat a bit.
Excellent news, well done. Don't forget to check they are keeping him hydrated too.
Hope this doesn't sound impertinent, but I know what goes on in hospitals.
Finally, try and sleep the 'Sleep of The Just' tonight. You deserve it. Much love Deborah x
 

Grommit

Registered User
Apr 26, 2006
2,127
Doncaster
Been very lax in catching up with threads lately.

I really am devastated to hear hear what you have been going through and I sincerely hope that things will get better for you in the coming days.

I know of old that you are a fighter and i am sure that you you are doing all you can at this time. Hang on in there.
 

alfjess

Registered User
Jul 10, 2006
1,213
south lanarkshire
Skye said:
Saw consultant (she's very nice). John has considerable brain shrinkage, but there's no sign of recent bleed. It may take several weeks for the brain to recover from the infection. He may get back to where he was before, but may not. There's no knowing. It's all 'wait and see'. I may be able to have him home, with a care package, but I may not.

Did someone say something about having a rest?

The good news is, John's a bit better, and is managing to eat a bit.
Hi Hazel

So glad John is a bit better and I did say try to get some rest, sorry you didn't manage to. Maybe to-night.

I am a little confused when you say it may take weeks for the brain to recover from the infection. Do you mean the UTI?

I know a UTI can cause confusion and deteriation, but I didn't know that this could affect the brain permanently.

Mum, after the antibiotics have done their job, she is back to normal:)

love
Alfjess
 

elaineo2

Registered User
Jul 6, 2007
945
leigh lancashire
Dear Skye,with love and hope i send this message.
Don't give up.although its hard,think of whats harder to do in your life.Time and tide,waits for no-one.love elainex
 

Skye

Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
17,000
SW Scotland
Deborah Blythe said:
Hello Hazel, is this quote YOUR assessment of the situation, or THEIRS? Are they saying even if you take him home you may not get the care package you want? If so, that's not on. Or are they saying that they don't think you could cope with him even with a care package?
Sorry, didn't express that well. Bad case of cotton-wool brain! I made it clear that if John comes home, I'll need a care package. But that depends on how well he recovers. If he doesn't regain mobility I won't be able to cope, even with a care package, because he's too big for me to maneouvre. They've accepted that.

Excellent news, well done. Don't forget to check they are keeping him hydrated too.
He's on a drip, and is also managing to drink a bit, so that's OK.

Hope this doesn't sound impertinent, but I know what goes on in hospitals.
Not at all, Deborah. This is new territory for me, and I'm grateful for all suggestions.

Love,
 

Skye

Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
17,000
SW Scotland
bel said:
wish i could be there with a bigger bag to take away your hurt
love bel x

Bel, thank you so much. You see, you are helping others.:)

Grommit, thanks to you too. Yes, I'll keep fighting!:eek:

Love,
 
Last edited:

Skye

Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
17,000
SW Scotland
alfjess said:
I am a little confused when you say it may take weeks for the brain to recover from the infection. Do you mean the UTI?

I know a UTI can cause confusion and deteriation, but I didn't know that this could affect the brain permanently.
Hi alfjess, as I understand it, what the consultant was saying is that the infection doesn't cause physical damage to the brain, but it creates extra impulses, and that's why John has been so agitated and aggressive.

After the infection has cleared, it can take some time for these impulses to die down, and sometimes they don't die down completely.

I'm no expert, but that's the way she explained it, and that's why it's a case of 'wait and see'.

Thanks for the message, and thank you too Elaine, much appreciated.

Love
 

Skye

Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
17,000
SW Scotland
Another question, just asking for opinions, please.

On 17th, I'm going (DV) to be going to a training day at the local nursing college, to talk to trainee dementia champions.

There will undoubtedly be nurses from John's ward on the course.

Now, do I mention this to them, thereby ensuring that John is well cared-for (I've no complaints so far), or do I just keep quiet and observe, and get the true picture?

The academic in me wants just to observe, but this is John, and I want the best for him.
 

DeborahBlythe

Registered User
Dec 1, 2006
9,222
Hazel, I think you might be criticised if you DIDN'T mention it in some way. A sort of clearing the way at the begiinning so that everyone knows what your interest is. What you might like to do, however, is refrain from naming the ward where John is. i.e say John is in hospital and this is what your impressions have been but without naming names. It would be quite difficult for the relevant nurses to hear something BAD about the ward at a training day with others present, especially if they haven't had a chance to contemplate what went on and respond. ( Natural justice). Also, if you accused someone in particular ( which I'm certain is not on your mind, but hypothetically) they could retaliate in some way, eg by claiming they had been slandered, if you had not raised the concerns in the proper quarters. However, I think that the fact that John (and you) are at the sharp end of all this right now will give your words a whole lot more weight. I think that is how I would tackle it in your shoes, but you may feel differently.

You want to win these nurses around and honey works better than vinegar, they say. But specific examples of poor care are an essential learning tool, so I would just try to de-personalise it as regards teams of nurses.