Today is the scariest day I have had since Alan was diagnosed. It is the first day of my holiday from work. The sitter cancelled because she has a cold and they can't provide anyone tomorrow. Fine I thought, I'll do some cleaning and Alan and I will have a wonderful day together. THAT IS AS FAR AS IT GOT. It became a nightmare. Alan couldn't follow the simplest instruction and I could see the day turning into a disaster. I tried to get him to wipe down the sunroom but he couldn't and so I ended up doing it myself as well as trying to clean upstairs, do the breakfast dishes, answer the phone, cook lunch etc. etc. In the end I ended up throwing Alan's coat out of the front door and pushing him out too I was crying and worrying about myself thinking "I am actually having a breakdown". I had my mind going at the same time as yelling at Alan or pushing him out of the front door and it was really like being quite mad
I had no idea just how frightening this can get. Fortunately a friend phoned and I was able to hear some normality and it helped a while. I have now put Alan on the bed out of my way and I just need to get through today and start afresh tomorrow. First thing in the new year I will get a cleaner and a gardener.
I had no idea just how frightening this can get. Fortunately a friend phoned and I was able to hear some normality and it helped a while. I have now put Alan on the bed out of my way and I just need to get through today and start afresh tomorrow. First thing in the new year I will get a cleaner and a gardener.