I’m 18 and a carer

[k-1312]

Hey. I'm 18 years old and my dad was diagnosed with early-onset alzheimer's when I was 16. Me and my mum have been taking care of him but it's also heavily worsened my mum's and i've seen her mentally breakdown for the first time in front of me, It;s completely thrown out what was once a relatively stable family dynamic. Nothing gets done around the house and I'm supposed to be completing my International Baccalaureate in 6 months so I don't always have the time to help. We have a pretty severe cashflow issue and I'm never sure how much food I can reasonably ask to buy at any moment. My dad is getting more unrecognisable and he deals with his own ****** mood by taking it out on us. I'm also a person with a substance use disorder which causes friction between me and my family and makes things more disorganised.

 

[k-1312]

I don't know what I can do and how bad something like this is because I have no reference point. This is why I joined this forum.

 

[Jessie5]

Welcome to the forum. I am sorry you find yourself here so young.

My advice to you in the nicest way is to prioritise yourself. Those exams are important. Are you getting help with your substance abuse problem? If not please consider seeking some help. With the stressful situation at home I can completely understand why you turn to substances for release, but there are other ways of coping and you absolutely deserve to be free from them. Is there anyone at school or college who you could talk to? If not maybe speak to your GP? They should also be able to point you in the direction of help for your addiction and also young carers organisations. It might help to meet other young people in the same situation as caring is really isolating. You are so young and you deserve to have a future.

Do you get any help with Dad? Carers coming in or him going to a day care for example. Do you think your family are getting all the benefits you are entitled to? The Alzheimer’s society has a really great helpline who will be able to talk to you or your Mum about your situation and options for seeking more help and will have information on benefits etc. it might really help your Mum to talk this all through with someone else.

Dementia Support Line

If you need dementia support, we’re here for you. Get personalised information, support and advice by calling us on 0333 150 3456.

www.alzheimers.org.uk

It is really hard so I hope you can get some help soon. Xx

 

[canary]

Hello @k-1312 and welcome from me too

That sounds an extremely stressful situation. To put it bluntly, you and your mum need additional help. Your dads needs have become too great for you and your mum to cope with on your own.

Are you in UK? If you are, then get Your GP to refer you to Social Services for a needs assessment for your dad.
If you are not in UK, you need to find out how to access help, but the way it is done, and what that help looks like, varies in every country