Hello everyone,
I am looking for support both emotionally and practically as my 78 year old mother is living with dementia. Unfortunately, she will not accept a diagnosis or attend any appointments that have been offered for the memory clinic etc. . The dementia has progressed considerably over the last 6 months. My parents are in the process of moving to be closer to me. The move is taking a very long time. Mum has been packed since December. Obviously, Mum's packing is not coherent or organised but it has made her feel more in control. However, it has also meant that she has 'lost' a lot of things as there is no logical system. She will not allow my Dad to help as 'He knows nothing'. I am travelling to see my parents on a weekly basis to try to give Dad some respite.
My Dad is doing the very best he can but would like advice on the following:
Any advice would be gratefully received. Many thanks
I am looking for support both emotionally and practically as my 78 year old mother is living with dementia. Unfortunately, she will not accept a diagnosis or attend any appointments that have been offered for the memory clinic etc. . The dementia has progressed considerably over the last 6 months. My parents are in the process of moving to be closer to me. The move is taking a very long time. Mum has been packed since December. Obviously, Mum's packing is not coherent or organised but it has made her feel more in control. However, it has also meant that she has 'lost' a lot of things as there is no logical system. She will not allow my Dad to help as 'He knows nothing'. I am travelling to see my parents on a weekly basis to try to give Dad some respite.
My Dad is doing the very best he can but would like advice on the following:
- How to support Mum who no longer has any concept of time and date (we have visual aids as reminders such as daily cards with the date, two types of calendars, one daily with a clock on and Alexa). Mum becomes very agitated about missing events or appointments and will insist that her birthday is on days that it isn't, insist that they have missed appointments, insist that Dad drives her to appointments hours before the venue is open etc.
- How to support Mum when she is getting up at 1:30am; 4:00am; 5:30am etc. and believing that its not too early to start the day. She accuses my Dad of being lazy and staying in bed.
- How to support Mum when she feels that people are breaking into their home and stealing things. Mum is demonstrating regular paranoia.
- How to support Mum when she believes my Dad is stealing from her and she doesn't trust him.
- How to respectfully enquire about Mum's personal hygiene routine. Her hair was very greasy as she can no longer wash it or seems to remember to wash it. We have managed this by Dad treating her to a wash and blow dry fortnightly and we are hoping to increase this when they are closer to me. However, we know that she isn't washing. How do you raise this topic with your loved ones?
- How to manage Mum's fear of not having any money? She has a HUGE amount of money in her handbag which she hides in the house. She also takes it out with her. This stems from when she thought the bank was stealing from her. She will not leave it at home. I have tried to persuade her but it seems fruitless.
Any advice would be gratefully received. Many thanks
