Help Me To Calm Down

[Philbo]

Guess I tempted fate here?

Next morning, I noticed my chest felt a bit tight (i’m mildly asthmatic), was sniffly and on coughing up a small amount of phlegm (sorry), saw there was a small amount of blood).

Wifey was due at “activity morning” so I got a doctors appointment for once I dropped her off.

Long story short, he said I’d got the start of a chest infection (given antibiotics) but also sent me to hospital to get X-ray and urgent blood test to check for blood clots (eek!).

Got X-ray done but wait for bloods was too long so had to pick wife up. Panic call to son who was able to get off work to sit with her while I shot back over (10 mile round trip).

Thankfully, all was “normal” (there, I’ve done it again) but for those hours, I did worry about how we’d cope if I had to go in hospital☹️. Us carers can’t afford to be ill!!!

 

[yak55]

Hi, My Heart is pounding and I feel exhausted. My wife has just peed in her pants, I found her in the bathroom, she had taken her pants off and put her knickers down the toilet which I had to fish out. Her legs were covered in pee, next step was to get her wet socks off and the rest of her clothes and get her into the shower. She adamantly refused and was insisting on coming back onto the bedroom carpet, I barred the door and insisted .she get undressed and have a shower. She refused saying she wanted to see her Dad, I normally let this go but snapped and told her that her dad was dead, he died about 30 years ago. We ended up shouting at each other and I came within a whisker of pushing her into the shower, l think she saw How angry I had become and went in and eventually took the rest of her clothes off.

I should say this came at the end of a day that started with the best of intentions, at last some sunshine and I took her for a drive out stopping for coffee and cake. But as usual nothing suited her ending up with her refusing to use the toilet in the cafe and apace back home in the car.

Then she refused to take her shoes off the start of another argument and wandered around the house with her hat and coat on for the rest of the day. Yesterday friends called in who she refused to speak to so tonight was really the final straw and I now hate myself for acting so badly, I laid clean clothes out for her but have had to walkway,truth is we are now at the point where we can just about tolerate each other. I should say until about 5 years ago and the onset of Alzheihmers we had a wonderful relationship. Don't expect any solutions but just needed to calm down and get this off my chest, sorry.

Do not beat yourself up over this and remember you are not the first and will not be the last to react like this. Being honest and sharing experiences not only,helps you to unburden your problems but it also helps others who may not wish to share their problems on this site. So bravo to you for feeling you can share with us.
As it happens, after a long day with Mum and me with the headache from hell, I also 'lost it'. It was something silly after a day of calm, even having to return home halfway to,our destination because mum felt tired, after me dragging myself out didn't upset me, I was calmness itself
It was about mums shoes, again, she couldn't find them, by the way she didn't need them but that's par for the course! She found them in the end and made up a story about where! I got the impression I was being blamed for losing them and got a bit knocky which in turn made Mum knocky ho hum, tomorrow's another day