Hello, I’m Mel and new to this forum.
My mum has lived with me since 2009 after my dad passed away. She is now 88 and has been diagnosed with dementia and Altzheimers. I’m on my own and don’t have any family or friends who live near enough to be able to help or offer respite so finding it all quite hard. I’ve arranged Carers to come as I also have to work but my mum is very strong willed and won’t let the carers help with anything at all. She also doesn’t leave the house unless it’s absolutely necessary and won’t attend any groups or engage in any activities which leaves me feeling extremely guilty for trying to carry on leading my own life, especially as she can be nasty sometimes. She has been told she has dementia but forgets or denies that she has it and the advice I’ve been given is to not keep telling her or reminding her that she’s forgotten things and to avoid any confrontation.
At the moment she still manages her own personal care so the carers only make her cups of tea, check she’s taken medication, and do a few household chores If I ask them to. I’m finding it very hard to talk to her about anything as she always goes on the defensive, argues and snaps at me, and then won’t talk to me at all.
Any advice greatly appreciated, I’m tearing my hair out trying to decide what to do for the best.
My mum has lived with me since 2009 after my dad passed away. She is now 88 and has been diagnosed with dementia and Altzheimers. I’m on my own and don’t have any family or friends who live near enough to be able to help or offer respite so finding it all quite hard. I’ve arranged Carers to come as I also have to work but my mum is very strong willed and won’t let the carers help with anything at all. She also doesn’t leave the house unless it’s absolutely necessary and won’t attend any groups or engage in any activities which leaves me feeling extremely guilty for trying to carry on leading my own life, especially as she can be nasty sometimes. She has been told she has dementia but forgets or denies that she has it and the advice I’ve been given is to not keep telling her or reminding her that she’s forgotten things and to avoid any confrontation.
At the moment she still manages her own personal care so the carers only make her cups of tea, check she’s taken medication, and do a few household chores If I ask them to. I’m finding it very hard to talk to her about anything as she always goes on the defensive, argues and snaps at me, and then won’t talk to me at all.
Any advice greatly appreciated, I’m tearing my hair out trying to decide what to do for the best.
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