Hello from an overwhelmed newbie!

[Amorphia]

Hi everyone, I've just joined and spent some time reading various posts. I'm sat in bed with tears rolling down my face as I read through various posts and discussions. I'm sad at the stories I'm reading but also emotional that so many people are in the same boat as myself and my parents.

My dad was diagnosed with late onset Alzheimer's a couple of years ago. At the moment my mum cares for him at home... doing pretty much everything for him. She does a REMARKABLE job considering she's 82. Unfortunately, I live abroad I have daily contact with my parents and try to assist my mum with anything I can from a distance. When I visit, I do as much as possible to ease her load but being so far away I am riddled with guilt that I don't do more.

I'm currently visiting them as my mum was unwell a few weeks ago with high blood pressure and struggled to look after dad. This was a huge wake up call to get an emergency care plan in place hence the reason for my visit.

Trying to figure out what is best to do for my dad but also for my rundown and tired mum has been overwhelming. I keep finding things to read online for advice and then I click on new links in the page which takes me to another page so at the moment I must have about 50 tabs open on my browser!! So much information to take in and at the same time I feel like I don't know where to go for help with understanding it all and making the correct and necessary decisions #overwhelming

I will post elsewhere on the forum for some sage advice from other experienced members but for now hello from a stressed daughter of a beloved Alzheimer's father and a very tired carer mother.

 

[Sarasa]

Welcome to Dementia Support Forum @Amorphia.
If it is possible I wonder if you could get your dad into respite in a local care home to give your mum a chance to recuperate. It sounds like she's got to carer breakdown stage and needs a break so she (and you) can work out what to do next. As you need to sort things out quickly I wonder if phoning support services tomorrow and chatting everything through would be the best and quickest way to get the help you need. They open at 9.00am tomorrow.

Dementia Support Line

If you need dementia support, we’re here for you. Get personalised information, support and advice by calling us on 0333 150 3456.

www.alzheimers.org.uk

This is a very friendly and supportive place and I'm sure others will be along with their suggestions.

 

[Amorphia]

Welcome to Dementia Support Forum @Amorphia.
If it is possible I wonder if you could get your dad into respite in a local care home to give your mum a chance to recuperate. It sounds like she's got to carer breakdown stage and needs a break so she (and you) can work out what to do next. As you need to sort things out quickly I wonder if phoning support services tomorrow and chatting everything through would be the best and quickest way to get the help you need. They open at 9.00am tomorrow.

Thank you for the advice. We visited a care home yesterday for this very purpose. My mum feels a little rested now as I've been here to help so she's said that when she's feeling run down again she'll arrange some respite care. I'm back again in January and then hopefully back again in April. I'll be racking up the air miles!!

 

[Hilary Cooper]

Hi everyone, I've just joined and spent some time reading various posts. I'm sat in bed with tears rolling down my face as I read through various posts and discussions. I'm sad at the stories I'm reading but also emotional that so many people are in the same boat as myself and my parents.

My dad was diagnosed with late onset Alzheimer's a couple of years ago. At the moment my mum cares for him at home... doing pretty much everything for him. She does a REMARKABLE job considering she's 82. Unfortunately, I live abroad I have daily contact with my parents and try to assist my mum with anything I can from a distance. When I visit, I do as much as possible to ease her load but being so far away I am riddled with guilt that I don't do more.

I'm currently visiting them as my mum was unwell a few weeks ago with high blood pressure and struggled to look after dad. This was a huge wake up call to get an emergency care plan in place hence the reason for my visit.

Trying to figure out what is best to do for my dad but also for my rundown and tired mum has been overwhelming. I keep finding things to read online for advice and then I click on new links in the page which takes me to another page so at the moment I must have about 50 tabs open on my browser!! So much information to take in and at the same time I feel like I don't know where to go for help with understanding it all and making the correct and necessary decisions #overwhelming

I will post elsewhere on the forum for some sage advice from other experienced members but for now hello from a stressed daughter of a beloved Alzheimer's father and a very tired carer mother.

Hello there, I know what you mean, I live with my mum who is 90 & has Alzheimers & Vascular dementia, it is very hard especially when she won't acknowledge she has it & gets upset when she can't remember things. Do get your mum some support, I'm sure people here will help with that or her GP will have some contacts. Good luck!