How can I respond to my husbands hallucinations which are completely off the wall. His involve mostly equipment because that was his line of work. He calls me wanting me to come to the NH and get whatever it is he sees straightened out. Just had a call that I needed to call NH office and have them get someone out there now because they were in the garages. The NH doesn't have garages and I know it is nothing but he sees what he sees and expects me to get all the BS figured out. I don't know what to say. He gets very angry if I refuse to run over to the NH or get whatever the situation straightened out. He even calls people we know and has called people we work with also. I've told him please don't do that but in his broken mind he doesn't care. It's just what he wants to do. Any suggestions about something I could tell him.
Hallucination suggestions
- Thread starter mammacow
- Start date
Hi @mammacow and welcome to the forum.
With hallucinations, misperceptions, delusions etc. - what I've found is the best way is first of all, not to deny they are there. One can reassure that everything is OK and nothing to worry about, but also, try not to make too much of them. Don't stay focused on them, and try to move on (gently) to another subject (not always easy).
There are some people challenged with dementia who are seriously disturbed by hallucinations, in those cases medication may be the way to go.
Also, a urinal tract infection (UTI) may cause excessive hallucinations, but as your husband is in a nursing home, I'm sure this has been ruled out.
You say he gets very angry if you refuse to run over to the NH and sort things out, but that's not very sustainable I would guess. Perhaps anti anxiety meds may help him? Another job for the NH maybe.
With hallucinations, misperceptions, delusions etc. - what I've found is the best way is first of all, not to deny they are there. One can reassure that everything is OK and nothing to worry about, but also, try not to make too much of them. Don't stay focused on them, and try to move on (gently) to another subject (not always easy).
There are some people challenged with dementia who are seriously disturbed by hallucinations, in those cases medication may be the way to go.
Also, a urinal tract infection (UTI) may cause excessive hallucinations, but as your husband is in a nursing home, I'm sure this has been ruled out.
You say he gets very angry if you refuse to run over to the NH and sort things out, but that's not very sustainable I would guess. Perhaps anti anxiety meds may help him? Another job for the NH maybe.
Have you tried not taking his calls? They seem to upset both of you - he can’t get a satisfactory resolution to his hallucinated situation, and you can’t convince him that all is well or resolve his concerns.
Maybe try letting them go to voicemail for a day, then delete the VMs without listening to them? Would the outcome be any worse then the repeated exchanges you already have? Either he’s going to be upset that you can’t help, or that you didn’t take his call. At least with the latter option, one of you has a less disturbed day. Would he remember that you haven’t taken his calls? Many folks with dementia live in the moment. He’ll know in that moment that you’re not answering your phone, but might not remember or be affected by this having happened multiple times.
The nursing home will let you know if there’s anything that genuinely needs your attention.
Maybe try letting them go to voicemail for a day, then delete the VMs without listening to them? Would the outcome be any worse then the repeated exchanges you already have? Either he’s going to be upset that you can’t help, or that you didn’t take his call. At least with the latter option, one of you has a less disturbed day. Would he remember that you haven’t taken his calls? Many folks with dementia live in the moment. He’ll know in that moment that you’re not answering your phone, but might not remember or be affected by this having happened multiple times.
The nursing home will let you know if there’s anything that genuinely needs your attention.
I'm wondering how much comfort he is actually getting from that phone. It seems to be triggering feelings of home and he is using it instead of reaching out to the carers and transferring dependency to them.
I wonder whether it might be better for it to need "repairs" and dissappear for a while
I wonder whether it might be better for it to need "repairs" and dissappear for a while
Very good idea. My Mum’s mobile ‘ran out of credit’ and wasn’t topped up. She forgot about it in a matter of minutes.
