Anyone glad the bank holiday is over, It as been the longest weekend ever! Mum got up around lunch time hysterical that a man was in her bed. He frightens her and she was sobbing in my arms. It is awful to see her distressed like this. I eventually calmed her down and she has been fine all afternoon. I am dreading bed time though as it will all start again. Hate this disease with all my heart. x
Had enough today.
- Thread starter jorgieporgie
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Dear Jorgieporgie
Just wanted to say how sorry I am for your situation. I really don't know how you cope with it all. Going without a good night's sleep is devastating!
I've read that it probably is a good thing to get rid of all mirrors in the house, as many people with dementia are frightened by the "people" they see in them.
Does your Mum watch TV before going to bed. If so, perhaps she is being confused by all the people on the TV?
I hope that you get some help very soon. You can't go on like this.
((hugs))
Pauline
Just wanted to say how sorry I am for your situation. I really don't know how you cope with it all. Going without a good night's sleep is devastating!
I've read that it probably is a good thing to get rid of all mirrors in the house, as many people with dementia are frightened by the "people" they see in them.
Does your Mum watch TV before going to bed. If so, perhaps she is being confused by all the people on the TV?
I hope that you get some help very soon. You can't go on like this.
((hugs))
Pauline
Thank you Pauline. I have covered the mirrors up and she doesn't really watch TV as she things they are talking and watching her. Had a good night last night she slept until 5 this morning and no bad nightmares, I take a good night as a bonus. At first the hallucinations were nice and she talked for hours to her friend, but all of a sudden they have turned nasty it is very odd. Like I say one day at a time that is all we can do. Hopefully meds will be in place soon to help. xx
My late husband had horrific paranoia and hallucinations. He was convinced there were evil children living in the trees outside, screaming abuse and throwing things at him. Yet, bless him, more than once I found him having brought out food and was holding it up to the trees - because he was worried that the "children " weren't being fed- even though they were tormenting him!
He also could hear evil men who were living in our attic, who were sawing the roof off, and were going to then push the house walls in on us. And other evil men lived in daughter's bedroom and EVERY NIGHT they tortured her to death, pouring acid in her eyes and other awful scenarios!
I wonder if sometimes, some of the hallucinations are like "echoes " of distorted memories? The one about dau being tortured to death? Well, when he was a young man, my husband was travelling in Spain. It was probably during the late 1940/early 1950s, when Spain wasn't the best place to be. The regime, he said, was quite repressive. Anyway, he was on a train travelling overnight - one of those old trains with separate compartments and the corridor to the side. And apparently, all night he could hear the sounds of a woman who had been arrested, being tortured in the next compartment. And there was nothing he could do. So, I could see that returning to haunt him as a delusion in his dementia. And I think it's possible some other hallucinations and delusions have roots, however tenuous, in past events. But of course, we may never know the roots. And even when we do - it doesn't help.
He also could hear evil men who were living in our attic, who were sawing the roof off, and were going to then push the house walls in on us. And other evil men lived in daughter's bedroom and EVERY NIGHT they tortured her to death, pouring acid in her eyes and other awful scenarios!
I wonder if sometimes, some of the hallucinations are like "echoes " of distorted memories? The one about dau being tortured to death? Well, when he was a young man, my husband was travelling in Spain. It was probably during the late 1940/early 1950s, when Spain wasn't the best place to be. The regime, he said, was quite repressive. Anyway, he was on a train travelling overnight - one of those old trains with separate compartments and the corridor to the side. And apparently, all night he could hear the sounds of a woman who had been arrested, being tortured in the next compartment. And there was nothing he could do. So, I could see that returning to haunt him as a delusion in his dementia. And I think it's possible some other hallucinations and delusions have roots, however tenuous, in past events. But of course, we may never know the roots. And even when we do - it doesn't help.
Hi jorgie, how are you and you mum? I hope you're getting somewhere with your GP etc.
Has covering up the mirrors made a difference? I do hope so.
I got back v early this morning to the sounds of mum's dulcet tones calling my name... she was even more confused over the last 2 days while I was away. It's been increasing over the last week or so, so don't think it can be put down to my going away. I feel some guilt all the same, can't be helped. She's relaxed at this moment. This is generally her best time of the day.
I hope you had some sleep and that today brings some services progress.
Has covering up the mirrors made a difference? I do hope so.
I got back v early this morning to the sounds of mum's dulcet tones calling my name... she was even more confused over the last 2 days while I was away. It's been increasing over the last week or so, so don't think it can be put down to my going away. I feel some guilt all the same, can't be helped. She's relaxed at this moment. This is generally her best time of the day.
I hope you had some sleep and that today brings some services progress.
Had a quiet night Mum settled until 3am this morning went to the loo and only just got up. Got up screaming and hallucinating and shouting I'm Peter I'm Peter don't know where he as come from but obviously distressing her, she is outside in garden with coat on shouting for her Mum and wanting to go home. It is every day now this hysteria can not carry on like this, going to ring for help today.
Oh bless you so sorry
Dad had a fall. Not bad in the house and fell on a chair but banged back and hand in the process. He said he felt bruised but next day said a bit sore. Then the next day well he was yelling with back pain and with it came the shouting at me at the carers yelling for his dinner. I went to do the dinner and he wandered out to the kitchen asking what my problem is
I am drained for different reasons. Dad isn't distressed just constantly rude to everyone who tries to help
Sending you xx
Hi Worrier, Hope your dad is ok now. I am beside myself at the moment ready for cracking up. Mum been really distressed reciting the same over and over again, hallucinating constantly. I have had my Thursday out with SIL and my daughter has had her. I have come home to it all again. I have been having terrible headaches and feel like just going to bed and sleeping. First thing in morning going to ring GP again and SS something needs doing, it is heart breaking seeing her like this. Could do with you daily tipple you send, thank you xxx
I get you ! I just want to sleep. Hope the GP does something. I was at the point of calling 999 with dad and his back but thought it will only end up worse in that he will get more confused and nothing you can really do for bad backs. He's been wandering round the house straightening things so I know the back can't be that bad. But why he is constantly rude and ungrateful...
Going to my first carers session next Wednesday for those just diagnosed. Just carers not patients. It's 2hrs. I can't wait
I bet that will be interesting and you may learn a lot from going. Hope you enjoy it.
Well we finally have peace, Mum has settled down now, I thing she is exhausted she is having a hot chocolate and I think an early night is on the cards. See what tomorrow brings. Hope you have a good night too. x
Well we finally have peace, Mum has settled down now, I thing she is exhausted she is having a hot chocolate and I think an early night is on the cards. See what tomorrow brings. Hope you have a good night too. x
Thank you Aisling.
It's the last straw today, Mum slept until 4am and as soon as she opened her eyes it all started again, crying, shouting hitting mirrors. I have give her some pain killers and put her back to bed, where she is asleep ant present. She is tired and worn out by this continuing battle and I am nearly at breaking point. If no help s give soon I will have to ring 999 which I don't want her admitting into a psychiatric ward it would terrify her. I feel so lost don't know what to do for best.
Hi Jorgie,
You must be way beyond breaking point. Phone SS again, admiral nurse, etc today and cry for help. Can you get some emergency respite for your Mum?
Aisling xx
How are you today did you call 999 ?
Hoping you get some help
Meanwhile dad being constantly rude to me saying I don't care I have an attitude and am a bully.
All I have done is adjust working hours to care not visited my boyfriends in 11 months he visits when dad isn't rude to him. Not been out in 11 months but then if that's being uncaring ... Could cry
Isn't it horrible what they say you know it is the illness but nether the less it is like a knife in your heart at times.
Mum said yesterday when she was distressed that I was on the bad peoples side and she use to love me. (USED TOO)
I rang GP yesterday and he rang me straight back, put her on a mild 1mg of larazapan half twice a day.This is just a stop gap until her appointment comes through for Mental Health re assessment and CPN. Also give me a number for 24/7 if I need them to come if Mum deteriorates in the meantime. At least something is happening now. Hope everything is ok at yours. Take care xx
Mum said yesterday when she was distressed that I was on the bad peoples side and she use to love me. (USED TOO)
I rang GP yesterday and he rang me straight back, put her on a mild 1mg of larazapan half twice a day.This is just a stop gap until her appointment comes through for Mental Health re assessment and CPN. Also give me a number for 24/7 if I need them to come if Mum deteriorates in the meantime. At least something is happening now. Hope everything is ok at yours. Take care xx
Jorgie, how are you and your mum today? Yeah, those words are hard. Like you, I find it so tough to distinguish between mum and the disease at those times. And d'you know, fact is, the line is blurred. Mothers, daughters, fathers, sons, spouses -- human beings -- know how to press buttons and hurt. They know. Sometimes, it seems like it's doing the pwd a patronizing disservice when labelling some behaviours "the disease", it further strips them of humanity and identity....nooo, it's partially the disease, to a greater or lesser extent. The person is still there, crying out for help or lashing out or expressing a need or emotion, however distortedly and, at times, 'cruelly'
The exact same applies when an intimate or relative with dementia expresses themselves kindly, tenderly or lovingly.
There. Said it. This has been on my mind in my own situation
. Sometimes, I'm grand at handling it, sometimes, so-so and other times, absolutely **** at it. So there's the pair of us in it in this house.
Worrier and Aisling, hi.
The exact same applies when an intimate or relative with dementia expresses themselves kindly, tenderly or lovingly.
There. Said it. This has been on my mind in my own situation
. Sometimes, I'm grand at handling it, sometimes, so-so and other times, absolutely **** at it. So there's the pair of us in it in this house. Worrier and Aisling, hi
.Jorgie, how are you and your mum today? Yeah, those words are hard. Like you, I find it so tough to distinguish between mum and the disease at those times. And d'you know, fact is, the line is blurred. Mothers, daughters, fathers, sons, spouses -- human beings -- know how to press buttons and hurt. They know. Sometimes, it seems like it's doing the pwd a patronizing disservice when labelling some behaviours "the disease", it further strips them of humanity and identity....nooo, it's partially the disease, to a greater or lesser extent. The person is still there, crying out for help or lashing out or expressing a need or emotion, however distortedly and, at times, 'cruelly'
The exact same applies when an intimate or relative with dementia expresses themselves kindly, tenderly or lovingly.
There. Said it. This has been on my mind in my own situation
Worrier and Aisling, hi
Hi Molly and Jorgieporgie
Well dad didn't know where he was this morning. He thought he was in a hotel. We went out for a walk and the carer came which is not normal for a Weekend but I needed the break. Get back and they carer put in the book 'bill very stroppy'
I am thinking of calling the GP in the morning as he had been sulky and rude the last week so maybe just a quick check for an infection.
Hope you are both ok. Shame we can't put them all in the same house and we could all get out for a wine. By the way I hardly have a glass maybe 2 a week max. Just need more ha ha
Morning Molly, Worrier and Aisling, also anyone else reading my post.
Well what a difference from last weekend, As you know GP rang me back Friday and give my Mum some Meds just half a tablet twice a day. Miracle tablets! started yesterday evening was a bit reluctant at first, she slept right through in the morning did not wake screaming or agitated, so give her second one. All day no hallucinations. My SIL came for lunch and spent the day with us sitting in the garden. Hence my first posting for couple of days. Mum was lovely and enjoyed it.
Last night put her to bed around 9pm give third tablet, heard her talking so went in and she said the little girl was on her bed but she is nice and was talking away until she fell asleep. STILL IN BED NOW. Can not believe it, the trouble is only on these for two weeks or until her appointment comes through for re-assessment.
I don't know if this is leading me into false sense of security, Watch this space!!!!
Well what a difference from last weekend, As you know GP rang me back Friday and give my Mum some Meds just half a tablet twice a day. Miracle tablets! started yesterday evening was a bit reluctant at first, she slept right through in the morning did not wake screaming or agitated, so give her second one. All day no hallucinations. My SIL came for lunch and spent the day with us sitting in the garden. Hence my first posting for couple of days. Mum was lovely and enjoyed it.
Last night put her to bed around 9pm give third tablet, heard her talking so went in and she said the little girl was on her bed but she is nice and was talking away until she fell asleep. STILL IN BED NOW. Can not believe it, the trouble is only on these for two weeks or until her appointment comes through for re-assessment.
I don't know if this is leading me into false sense of security, Watch this space!!!!
Good Morning to anyone reading this and up early.
Had a good day yesterday, Mum was a bit drowsy yesterday slept in until 8.30 after a full nights sleep. Came down had breakfast and went back to bed until 12.30. We had lunch then I took her for a drive out, she was a bit drowsy all day, I think the meds have kicked in. Went to bed at 8.30 last night and still in bed now, no bad hallucinations no crying and not getting distressed. I can not believe the change but I feel like I am drugging her to have some peace. I am going to see how she is today and maybe only give her meds for bed and not during the day unless she gets agitated. Has anyone one had any experience with lorazapan. x
Had a good day yesterday, Mum was a bit drowsy yesterday slept in until 8.30 after a full nights sleep. Came down had breakfast and went back to bed until 12.30. We had lunch then I took her for a drive out, she was a bit drowsy all day, I think the meds have kicked in. Went to bed at 8.30 last night and still in bed now, no bad hallucinations no crying and not getting distressed. I can not believe the change but I feel like I am drugging her to have some peace. I am going to see how she is today and maybe only give her meds for bed and not during the day unless she gets agitated. Has anyone one had any experience with lorazapan. x
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