Thank you so much for that lovely message, it has genuinely made me feel less alone in all this. I have such feelings of guilt about everything and eve though I know I shouldn't, the feelings don't go away.
Against advice on here, I brought my Mum to live with us. Many years ago, we brought both my Mum-in-law and dad-in-law here when they were afflicted with Alzheimer's and looked after both of them for 2 years (MiL) and 10 years (F-i-L) but my husband was able to help then and we were much younger (40's instead of almost 70). I'm finding it much harder this time. I love them both, of course I do, but there are times when I could cheerfully strangle them both - this is when the guilt comes because I know they can't help it.
Until today, I've been able to leave Mum for a couple of hours while I shop but I was out today for 3 hours and she's gone through the house like a whirling dervish and moved stuff from one room to another. It's taken me ages to find things and put them back where they belong. She was like this in her own home, constantly cleaning and moving things, I don't know why I didn't think she'd do the same here
I'm sure you're right about the emergency services having seen it all before, thank you for the reassurance
Many thanks to all on TP for the help and support you give to one another - it really helps the likes of me who are floundering and left gasping at the speed of decline. OH seems to have slowed a bit lately but Mum is going 'off' at the speed of light. I'm hoping that it comes and goes and that it'll slow down again soon.
(((Hugs))) to all that need one