Grumpy OH

Rosebush

Registered User
Apr 2, 2018
1,478
0
Hi Beads, OH gave most of his toast to the dog today:(, not much point saying anything it will only cause an argument and he'll only forget anyway! Hope all is well with you. Lx
 

Rosebush

Registered User
Apr 2, 2018
1,478
0
Hi MlA56, Did the dog eat the blackpudding?, tomorrow I will only give OH 1 slice instead of 2 and see what happens:)
 

Beads

Registered User
Jul 19, 2017
544
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Hi Beads, OH gave most of his toast to the dog today:(, not much point saying anything it will only cause an argument and he'll only forget anyway! Hope all is well with you. Lx
Hi @Rosebush I’m fine thanks hope you are well. Yes waste of time it just causes upset. Well at least the dog will be happy. Take care speak soon.Axxx
 

PalSal

Registered User
Dec 4, 2011
972
0
Pratteln Switzerland
It is so annoying when they say OH looks OK. The nderlying meaning of their words is that I am exaggerating
@margherita- As they say, looks can be deceiving We all know that many people want to believe that it is ok. But the thing is I find, if I help OH to look good, people do relate to him better I believe than if he were smelly and miskept. So, I manicure his hands and his carer takes him to get a haircut. I dress him well and keep his shoes polished. He needs to look good. But it is a surface thing.
 

Beads

Registered User
Jul 19, 2017
544
0
@margherita- As they say, looks can be deceiving We all know that many people want to believe that it is ok. But the thing is I find, if I help OH to look good, people do relate to him better I believe than if he were smelly and miskept. So, I manicure his hands and his carer takes him to get a haircut. I dress him well and keep his shoes polished. He needs to look good. But it is a surface thing.
That’s exactly how it is @PalSal . I don’t know how I managed to get him ready & look smart & respectable without him arguing. There were a few sticky moments. So yes most of the family thought he looked well as they commented how he hadn’t changed much since last they saw him. Which could be over 2 yers . Mentioning shoes I noticed he couldn’t do the laces on his shoes he just tucked them inside. I didn’t let him know I had seen this. So yes he has moved on somewhat with his dementia. A
 

margherita

Registered User
May 30, 2017
3,280
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Italy, Milan and Acqui Terme
@margherita- As they say, looks can be deceiving We all know that many people want to believe that it is ok. But the thing is I find, if I help OH to look good, people do relate to him better I believe than if he were smelly and miskept. So, I manicure his hands and his carer takes him to get a haircut. I dress him well and keep his shoes polished. He needs to look good. But it is a surface thing.
I agree, the surface, as you say, is important.
An old aunt of mine used to say that when we are young we must have good looks so that people like us. When we are old good looks are necessary not to make people dislike us. This is also true of PWDs
 

AliceA

Registered User
May 27, 2016
2,911
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Yes, other people do not realise the sheer effort involved in the simplest of jobs.
 
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Tinas7

Registered User
Jun 5, 2018
23
0
Hello everyone

I am sorry I just had to have a rant tonight. Hubby has his headphones on listening to some music, he really enjoys Roy Orbison at the moment. That could change tomorrow though.

I had been advised to apply for some benefits by the nurses in the hospital. We did not like to do this as you know how it is, always that feeling that someone needs it more than us.
Anyway received the reply this morning with the decision that we are not entitled because hubby is not incontinent. Apparently if you do not have to wipe up after your loved one at all times you are entitled to nothing. Apologies about writing this but I imagine I am not the only one to be refused.

Has anyone else been refused due to this???

I hope you all are well.

God Bless xx
 

AliceA

Registered User
May 27, 2016
2,911
0
Hello everyone

I am sorry I just had to have a rant tonight. Hubby has his headphones on listening to some music, he really enjoys Roy Orbison at the moment. That could change tomorrow though.

I had been advised to apply for some benefits by the nurses in the hospital. We did not like to do this as you know how it is, always that feeling that someone needs it more than us.
Anyway received the reply this morning with the decision that we are not entitled because hubby is not incontinent. Apparently if you do not have to wipe up after your loved one at all times you are entitled to nothing. Apologies about writing this but I imagine I am not the only one to be refused.

Has anyone else been refused due to this???

I hope you all are well.

God Bless xx
I was advised to use Age Uk to fill in forms. A very efficient man did this. Sometimes we do not have the peculiar skill for this sort of form. Should be simple but not always, we tend to put the brightest side on to hold on to our morale. Good luck, do appeal.
 

Tinas7

Registered User
Jun 5, 2018
23
0
Oh my goodness so the appeal process might work, not convinced it will they way they word the refusal in the letter sounds really final.
The family have said that I should get in touch with the Disability Benefits Helpline for advice.
Mia it’s sounds like a luxury having someone to do the ironing and the gardening, does it feel like a massive weight has been lifted from your shoulders not having to do it yourself?
Gardening is a heavy job Hubby had always done the garden I think we have every book featuring Geoff Hamilton I do not know how you managed it by yourself before getting help.

Thanking all for the advice. I will keep you posted on any progress.

God Bless xx
 
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Tinas7

Registered User
Jun 5, 2018
23
0
I was advised to use Age Uk to fill in forms. A very efficient man did this. Sometimes we do not have the peculiar skill for this sort of form. Should be simple but not always, we tend to put the brightest side on to hold on to our morale. Good luck, do appeal.

Oh my goodness so the appeal process might work, not convinced it will work they way they word the refusal in the letter sounds really final. The family have said that I should get in touch with the Disability Benefits Helpline for advice. I will call tomorrow for some help.
Thanking all for the advice. I will keep you posted on any progress.

God Bless xx
 

AliceA

Registered User
May 27, 2016
2,911
0
Oh my goodness so the appeal process might work, not convinced it will work they way they word the refusal in the letter sounds really final. The family have said that I should get in touch with the Disability Benefits Helpline for advice. I will call tomorrow for some help.
Thanking all for the advice. I will keep you posted on any progress.

God Bless xx
Good luck, I was first told by GP I was not in the right category as it was for physical need, completely wrong. Experts often are! God bless
 

Tinas7

Registered User
Jun 5, 2018
23
0
Hello everyone

Well after a busy busy day for myself and Hubby we are now home and settled.

We had an appointment at the local library to help reapply for the carer benefit. They are now in the mail box, fingers crossed we might get something to help out with the cost of the incontinence underwear, it is working out so expensive but saves on Hubby having any embarrassing moments.

We had tea at the kids tonight, the boys as usual full of fun. Loving jig saws at the moment. They are an absolute joy.

Hope you are all well.

God bless xx
 
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Tinas7

Registered User
Jun 5, 2018
23
0
Oh Mia are you ok? Is J ok?

I am so sorry to hear this, is this trouble at home with family or with outsiders?

Why are they upset with you, everyone needs somewhere to let off steam. I cannot understand why they are upset. We need to support & guide each other.

Please do not leave the page as you so helpful and understanding. I remember reading you have your own sisters and their children, can they not support you more even giving them a call in the evening when you hubby is in bed?

I hope you reconsider your decision to leave, I will miss you.

God Bless xx
 
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imsoblue

Registered User
Feb 19, 2018
355
0
For someone who is also dealing with an OHWD and the added pain/stress/heartache of outside Influencers I say to them...have some empathy, read about the life of a carer, understand that until you wear these shoes you should not comment or complain. This is a marriage/relationship that YOU are not a part of. This is a situation that is unknown to everyone who must endure it.
I love @MIA56 and you have caused more grief that you can imagine. Proud of yourself? Karma will not be your friend.