Hello Everyone, I have been reading how you have all had similar experiences as we are having..I feel so numb right now...My mother was in a carehome, about three weeks before the actual lockdown the home closed its doors to visitors , which at the time, I thought was a good idea to keep everyone safe, not thinking about should anything actually go wrong..At the end of March, one of the times I phoned the home..they told me Mum wasnt eating or drinking..and so on for a few days she was not looking good..as they put it...Still then, I didn't think the worse would happen..I asked again if I could see her..they ended up saying yes, for 10 mins. I rushed up there..Mum was sleeping heavily..I had 10 , maybe 12 mins with her..I don't know if she knew I was there..Anyway..long story..few nights later I got that dreadful phone call to say she had gone. I asked to go see her..no, was the answer. Once Mum had reached the funeral home..I asked again. They said not just yet..we will prepare her and you can come up..those hours waiting...I will never forget..to then be told we couldn't see her at all. We couldnt choose her clothes to wear, obvioulsy couldn't have her home until the funeral..we did ask that.. etc etc..everything was no. I cannot discribe how I and one of my sons are feeling about it all..I feel so bad Ive let her down, before, during and after. My Mums funeral is on Tuesday 12th May. On Thursday evening I got a phone call to see Mum...well , her coffin , from today..so today and Monday we can go. I was surprised we could go..as we were not even allowed to go there for the paper work over these past weeks..it was all delivered and we are not allowed to approach the coffin at the crematoruim either..so , was a surprise to get that phone call. My son and I went to the chapel of rest today . We will go back on Monday. I was so tempeted to ask to see Mum..but husband says it wouldnt be a good idea, even if we are allowed to..its now been 5 weeks since Mum passed away . I am so so sorry , so many families are going through this..