Just low in general I think. Need to snap out of it. Just had a couple of hours in the chair. Right here I go. xoxo
I alternate between total meltdown, to total lethargy, to confident coping.
I spend more time in meltdown and lethargy !!!!!!!!
Yes. It didn't really strike home just how draining this all is until Mum went into the system and is now on her way to a home when a bed becomes available. I've had some time to stop continually be thinking about my Mum and begin to relax my vigilance. I have various notifications that go off that I had set up to remind me of what to do and today when it went off I felt everything crash down again inside. I feel I have to reprogram my whole life and learn to live again.
Fortunately, I'm comfortable with the plan that's being put together and I really don't have to worry.
Learning to 'unwind' from the constant care role seems a trip of its own. Part of me is tentatively stepping into a frame of mind where I can see there can be a life after the chaos.
Somehow the chaos had become a comfort zone of sorts in itself. Weird.
Anyhow, wishing all the best.
Do you think it is worse when the problem is a partner than a parent? Mine is my husband so I can't discuss it with him. I discovered this morning that he has no memory of falling down the stairs and spending ten days in hospital in 2008. When I spoke about it he smiled and said, "You are making this up". I showed him the diary entries of that time to show it was true. He doesn't want to go out anywhere, so the carers who come three times a week are his only social life.I reached breaking point and decided it was time to do something about it as I was beginning to feel ill myself. The only respite is a few hors at day care on Saturdays, but I know I need more. Sometimes I want to get in the car and keep driving, but I know I cannot leave as my husband cannot help the way he is and I still love him to bits. I find little things set me off and I find myself shouting, I don't like myself as I feel I should be more understanding but how do you get over those moments. I have started to investigate respite for a couple of days so that I can recharge my batteries.
Hullo everyone who's posted on this,I know exactly how you feel. My mother has Alzheimers and vascular dementia and lives with me full-time. I have no other family to support me and, to be honest, sometimes it is just relentless. I feel a rotation of anger, frustration, distress and compassion, and seem to be permanently tired and stressed. Mum has just had two weeks' respite care and went quite significantly downhill afterwards, which I didn't expect. I think the sheer effort of trying to help people with Alzheimers, and to keep them occupied at all times is very draining, so what you are feeling I would think is perfectly understandable. We can only do the best we can ... no-one can expect more.
Do you think it is worse when the problem is a partner than a parent? Mine is my husband so I can't discuss it with him. I discovered this morning that he has no memory of falling down the stairs and spending ten days in hospital in 2008. When I spoke about it he smiled and said, "You are making this up". I showed him the diary entries of that time to show it was true. He doesn't want to go out anywhere, so the carers who come three times a week are his only social life.