Does Any Thing Ever Go Right Help

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by bel, Jun 15, 2006.

  1. bel

    bel Registered User

    Apr 26, 2006
    757
    coventry
    I am sorry but i am really struggling can anyone offer any advice on what else i can do
    hubby has dementia ---long story had to sell home --he could no longer work moved into flat above shop we had rented
    Nothing had been done to it for years had loft extention to have a bedroom and shower -toilet -en suite
    Unfortunatly builders miss led us when building regs were passed said we could carry on building planning would automaticaly follow it did not
    I know it was my fault if i had my finger on the pulse but hubby was ill and i had a bussiness to run to support us ---
    any way long cmplicated story Council put an enforcement order on loft to come down we fought it an appeal local news papers petions even Court of Human Rights MP all the people around us can not understand the problem and are more than supportive and say the extention is no problem
    AT the end of the day the MP was not much help but he got council to give us 1 year to take loft down in stead of 3 months we said we were now on low income and could not afford to take it down He went back and said they will take it down and bill us a bit at a time
    Well the year was up beginning Feb we were told legaly they might let it lie
    But today we have recived a court summons in 2 weeks with a fine of up to 20.0000 for failure to take it down +the cost of putting it back to normal
    I am at my whits end he wil not have a toilet up stairs no showere or bath and on advice over the time this has been going on i am told you do not need a shower or bath unless you have a server skin condtion
    I do not want to fight any more slowly loosing the man i love is enough
    I am not very good at dealing with it


    I am so patient and calm for hubby sake but tonight Where do i go
     
  2. Norman

    Norman Registered User

    Oct 9, 2003
    4,348
    Birmingham Hades
    Bel
    welcome to Talking Point.
    I really do not know what to say,it is all so involved,I can't imagine the worry that you are going through.
    I think you should telephone the Alzheimer's help line for a start.
    You will find all the contact numbers on this site.
    http://www.alzheimers.org.uk/About_our_work/Contact_us/helpline.htm

    I hope others come up with some suggestions,soon.
    Let us know how you get on.
    Best Wishes
    Norman
    ps How old is Hubby?
    Is he ex service?
     
  3. dmc

    dmc Registered User

    Mar 13, 2006
    1,157
    hi bel

    what a situation to be in im so sorry, im not that good with legal things so cant be much help have you tried C.A.B see if they could give you any help, im sure you'l get more answers soon just wanted you to know i was thinking of you
    take care xx
     
  4. Helena

    Helena Registered User

    May 24, 2006
    715
    How incredibly cruel ........you are being punished for a builders duplicity

    Any chance you can sue the builder ........legal aid maybe
     
  5. Amy

    Amy Registered User

    Jan 4, 2006
    3,453
    Hiya Bel,
    Like Norman, I do not know what to say. Phone the helpline, see what they can suggest. What about Citizens Advice Bureau?
    What happened about the Council involvement in taking down the loft extension -
    is there someone there that you could talk to. What about contacting the MP again, if it was him who spoke to the Council before. Do you have a Social Worker - maybe they could offer some support?
    Thinking of you Bel. Try and get some sleep tonight, and make some phone calls tomorrow.
    Love Helen
     
  6. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london
    Gosh can’t believe it what a mess , wish I did have good advice , if I was you I would let them take me to court & pleased your case to the judge if you can’t afford to do it you just can’t as long as you can prove your do not have the income to the judge , your end up paying £5 a week .

    And as your husband has dementia you have a strong case, they can’t reposes your home .Go to the CAB or your local free legal advice centre.

    And go to the national paper about what the council doing to you, ring the daily Mail

    Good luck




    what does this mean
    Did you get that in writeing
     
  7. dmc

    dmc Registered User

    Mar 13, 2006
    1,157
    hi bel

    just wondering if youve managed to get anything sorted yet, about your situation
    hope things are improving
    thinking of you
     
  8. DickG

    DickG Registered User

    Feb 26, 2006
    558
    Stow-on-the-Wold
    Hi Bel

    Over the years I have had some dealings with our planning department at one time as a parish councillor and always found them open to discussion. Contact your planning enforcement department and ask them to meet you to dicuss your problems. I have no leagqal knowledge but I do know that the mere mention of the European Convention on Human Rights is likely to panic bureaucrats. First of all consult your local Citizens Advice Bureau, they will be able to give or obtain legal advice.

    Hugs

    Dick
     
  9. bel

    bel Registered User

    Apr 26, 2006
    757
    coventry
    re does any thing ever go right

    Just keeping you all up to date
    Ihave not been able to do a lot as yet hospital for a day today for me hubby tom to see this specialist
    But i have got my fighting head on ----in my opinion our only last slim chance have wrote and made a few photo copies of history of case =dates etc it is quite complex took photos of offendig loft
    done plan of action hopefully will start some time tom will try to get Watch Dog tv program our local paper National papers Alahimers Doctors etc etc to report our case and hope hope with enough public sympathy ----who knows
    This is not what i want or need No more does my hubby but it is our only hope
    So if any of the big people do help us look out for us hubby Bless him will be the one cracking jokes --he has a good sence of humor i will be the one shaking like a leaf
    i do not like the lime light
    thanks to you all for replies
    love Bel x
     
  10. Amy

    Amy Registered User

    Jan 4, 2006
    3,453
    Well done Bel. How did Tom get on at the hospital?
    Helen
     
  11. bel

    bel Registered User

    Apr 26, 2006
    757
    coventry
    Helen

    Sorry Helen
    I am miss leading you i am a florist and we do short words for things tom is tomorrow you would not know not your fault example WDS WITH DEEPEST SYMPHTY but you have made me smile thanks
    Hubby HAS to SEE HIS SPECIALIST TOM-----
    and i am not looking forward to it
    but will fill you in later
    thanks for making me smile
    love Bel x
     
  12. Amy

    Amy Registered User

    Jan 4, 2006
    3,453
    Sorry Bel, a bit thick tonight!!
    Helen
     
  13. May

    May Registered User

    Oct 15, 2005
    627
    Yorkshire
    What a rotten situation Bel, keep that fighting head on and imagine each and every one of 'us TP'ers' standing shoulder to shoulder with you, shouting loud and long in your favour.
    Take care
     
  14. bel

    bel Registered User

    Apr 26, 2006
    757
    coventry
    re does any thing ever go right

    Hi all and thanks for your support
    Went to see hubbys specialist today he goes every 6 months more often if needed
    W e have not got a proper diagnosis yet they seem to be sitting on the fence but he did say it is probable Frontal Lobal the good thing is he has agreeded to write a letter if needed to help us in our fight for the loft
    Explaining the loft story to him was an extra stressful bit but---
    When we got back i contacted the local paper in our area they were very helpful going to do report on it and also cover the court proccedings for us
    Also contacted Alzheimers help line they could not beleive it put me on to some one at our local branch who we have raised money for in the past lovely lady she has made an appointment for us with some in the local law courts may be going down the line of needing bathing fascilaties
    Felt to stressed to do any more today
    Tomorrow will folow up some more things
    My biggest worry is I still have not had time to get my roots done for the cameras ----being silly
    Love Bel x
     
  15. Amy

    Amy Registered User

    Jan 4, 2006
    3,453
    Hiya Bel
    I don't know how you have managed to do all that you have!! Brilliant Bel, keep it up!
    Love Helen
     
  16. mel

    mel Registered User

    Apr 30, 2006
    1,656
    Sheffield
    Hi Bel
    Gosh...you have been busy!!
    Looks like ther's a light at the end of the tunnel at last for you!!!
    Take care
    Love
    Wendy
    x
     
  17. DickG

    DickG Registered User

    Feb 26, 2006
    558
    Stow-on-the-Wold
    Hi Bel

    You are doing well - keep it up. Make time to get your roots done, you will feel better.

    Hugs

    Dick
     
  18. bel

    bel Registered User

    Apr 26, 2006
    757
    coventry
    re does any thing ever go right

    Helen i dont know how i do it maybe its cos if i stop i think i will start getting to down there is so much more s---- that is going on as well i need to keep fighting for us both
    Tried one of the big National papers today waste of time a very unhelpful uncaring rude man said try your local papers i said i have and they are going to report on it but i am so desperate i wanted to go bigger reach more people he took no notice i could here him sighing so i said are you saying none of the big papers will want to know he just said yes
    Felt very deflated and like not trying any more big papers but as the day has wore on and we have taken the grandchidren to the park tonight i have got my fighting head back on there is a lot of nice people in the world i know so i will try some other papers tomorrow
    Also phoned BBC program but they are off the air till the autum too late never mind nice person
    sent an e mail to another tv program have to wait for reply trouble seems to be which makes sence they have things booked months in advance and we have very little time
    Still being silly again its probably just as well cos i still have not got my roots done
     
  19. bel

    bel Registered User

    Apr 26, 2006
    757
    coventry
    re does any thing ever go right

    Hi all and thanks for all your good wishes
    Felt drained today did not do any thing towards loft i run a small florists and work full time which is good it helps with our income and i really love my job i have a lot of regular customers more than that i call them friends they know the situation with hubby and loft and are very supportive but after the last few days telling the story again and again today i thought leave it for today you need a break
    So on a silly note no rush for my roots to be done
    Love Bel x
     
  20. mel

    mel Registered User

    Apr 30, 2006
    1,656
    Sheffield
    Hi Bel
    Have you tried the local news station like Midlands Today or Central News?
     

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