But why are you even worrying about it let them sort it out!
CHCcomes from a central county fund anyway
Dads in hospital very ill possibly eol
- Thread starter deepetshopboy
- Start date
CHCcomes from a central county fund anyway
I think your dad has a very good chance of getting CHC - let's hope so.
I'm also relieved the plan for him to come home with a care plan has been abandoned. I hope you are able to take a break from all this @deepetshopboy and have some time to yourself doing non-dad things. You really need it.
I'm also relieved the plan for him to come home with a care plan has been abandoned. I hope you are able to take a break from all this @deepetshopboy and have some time to yourself doing non-dad things. You really need it.
Yeah it’s probably for the best but im now fretting over ‘ quality of life’ are they going to keep him in bed were he will end up
At least ss was good sw and was happy to listen to my views and consider everything including were he was going live and gave me a choice of were he could go now im going be stuck with whatethey can fund as good places theres a waiting list
you are going to have to leave it to the carers. they will risk assess his needs and put a careplan into place to meet those needs and manage the risks. you can do no more. they will contact the different agencies for their assessments. he might well be too much risk of sitting in a chair and staying there because he thinks he can walk. there are lots of ways of managing the risks and you really have to leave it to them.
There were residents at my mums care home who were at risk of falling if they got up from their chair. During the day, such residents were sat on an alarm mat in an arm chair in the lounge with other residents and at least two carers. The alarm sounded as soon as contact was lifted from the mat as they tried to stand up and the carers were alerted and ready to help. Admittedly no one was fit enough to leap up suddenly, they tended to take their time trying to stand up.
The home really encouraged the residents to get out of bed and into the lounge, we even bought my mum a specialised Porter Chair so she could be wheeled around because she was scared of seeing the floor move when in a wheel chair. I hasten to add that it was my suggestion to buy the chair as it was so upsetting to see mums distress, the home did not ask us to buy one.
So, it’s quite possible that your dad will not be kept in bed if there is adequate supervision. Mum was not in a specialist dementia setting, it was a care home but all residents had dementia, so no one had 1:1 care unless for short periods of time.
My advice now would be to let the hospital discharge team and social workers suggest a suitable place and then go and have a look. You will need to appear that it won’t be like being at home but I’m sure it will be better than being in hospital as he is now.
So whatdo you see as the reasonable solution?
Let him do what he wants then have you down on them like a ton of bricks for them getting it wrong when he falls?
My dad fell three times in three weeks in three different wards while in hospital. I don't know what the answer is but I do think that if your dad came home that more and more work would fall to you and it would become impossible for you. My dad was easy to look after but then again I didn't make him stay in a chair or his bed also he did regain enough mobility to get around his bungalow so he was happy most of the time.
After reading other peoples stories on here I realise now that I had it very easy, no arguments, no incontinence, no really annoying habits but I still found it very hard. Your dad is not my dad and sadly I think it will be too much for you. I would probably feel the same way as you do though because it does not sound ideal but I don't think anything will. I hope it turns out okay and that they find somewhere suitable for him where he is able to move about if he wants to.
After reading other peoples stories on here I realise now that I had it very easy, no arguments, no incontinence, no really annoying habits but I still found it very hard. Your dad is not my dad and sadly I think it will be too much for you. I would probably feel the same way as you do though because it does not sound ideal but I don't think anything will. I hope it turns out okay and that they find somewhere suitable for him where he is able to move about if he wants to.
I'm not being flippant here, but I can't help wondering if there's a gap in the market for an adult version of a babywalker? I mean the type a baby sits in the middle of which supports them/stops them falling over, maybe like a walking frame but where the person sits in it, rather than walking behind it, and 'walks' with their feet.... I suppose space would be an issue! (I'm picturing a big room with several elderly PWDs skittering round the floor in giant babywalkers like big spiders... 
)
Sorry @deepetshopboy I can hear your distress - you only want what's best for your poor dad. I understand why being up and about, albeit with help, or bedbound is such a big deal. But I do think it's reaching a stage where the struggle to get him out of bed will outweigh his wish to be up and that would be no different wherever he goes.
I hope they find him a good place that you're happy with.
)Sorry @deepetshopboy I can hear your distress - you only want what's best for your poor dad. I understand why being up and about, albeit with help, or bedbound is such a big deal. But I do think it's reaching a stage where the struggle to get him out of bed will outweigh his wish to be up and that would be no different wherever he goes.
I hope they find him a good place that you're happy with.
I'm not being flippant here, but I can't help wondering if there's a gap in the market for an adult version of a babywalker? I mean the type a baby sits in the middle of which supports them/stops them falling over, maybe like a walking frame but where the person sits in it, rather than walking behind it, and 'walks' with their feet.... I suppose space would be an issue! (I'm picturing a big room with several elderly PWDs skittering round the floor in giant babywalkers like big spiders...
Sorry @deepetshopboy I can hear your distress - you only want what's best for your poor dad. I understand why being up and about, albeit with help, or bedbound is such a big deal. But I do think it's reaching a stage where the struggle to get him out of bed will outweigh his wish to be up and that would be no different wherever he goes.
I hope they find him a good place that you're happy with.
Dee's dad cant weight bear so that wouldnt work
Well of course with todays health n safety rules it would probably be banned or pysio would have to give all clearI'm not being flippant here, but I can't help wondering if there's a gap in the market for an adult version of a babywalker? I mean the type a baby sits in the middle of which supports them/stops them falling over, maybe like a walking frame but where the person sits in it, rather than walking behind it, and 'walks' with their feet.... I suppose space would be an issue! (I'm picturing a big room with several elderly PWDs skittering round the floor in giant babywalkers like big spiders...
Sorry @deepetshopboy I can hear your distress - you only want what's best for your poor dad. I understand why being up and about, albeit with help, or bedbound is such a big deal. But I do think it's reaching a stage where the struggle to get him out of bed will outweigh his wish to be up and that would be no different wherever he goes.
I hope they find him a good place that you're happy with.
At present can’t even try my dad in a wheelchair ?
Id be tempted to buy one but of course im sure id not be allowed to try it within the nursing home only hope ive got is they allow a wheelchair n private pysio
i wouldnt pay for private physio. the community physio can go to the home. if they cant manage to get your dad to do exercises, the private physio will probably not either and it would be a waste of money. your dad needs to want to do it. is he breathless on exertion? that would stop physio as well as my husband has this and they stopped it because he was too breathless
Yes due to the pneumonia and weakness hes also afraid of walking n panics ☹️
So why are you so determined he is to walk? He doesn't want to walk! He'll walk (or not) when he's good & ready.
The walking frame was NOT a serious suggestion
Your dad has to want to help himself. My dad cannot weight bear and has equipment to get him around. He also has had community physio x4 but he didn't keep up with the exercises as he couldn't be bothered. If he doesn't walk he doesn't. There will be times when he tries and forgets and will slip but you cannot be with him 24 x7.
I honestly don't think a physio will make much difference. From what you've said, your dad is scared of walking but even so, he keeps trying to get up because he's forgotten he can't easily do that. Secondly, you want him to at least maintain what 'mobility' he has and not become bedbound. Is that right?
The only way I think you could achieve this is:
1) 1-1 carer to make sure he doesn't try to get up unsupervised and fall.
2) 2/3 carers plus whatever hoists are necessary to get him up a few times a day, when he wants to and is compliant.
3) someone, maybe the 1-1, maybe you, to do little exercises with him whenever he's awake (small foot movements, etc.) to keep everything moving...
But even with the above and your help too, I think you've got to be prepared for your dad to give up trying, because it makes him anxious and breathless. I completely understand you don't want him to lose mobility just because it's too much trouble for carers to move him, but I think it's likely he will become bedbound whatever anyone does now.
The only way I think you could achieve this is:
1) 1-1 carer to make sure he doesn't try to get up unsupervised and fall.
2) 2/3 carers plus whatever hoists are necessary to get him up a few times a day, when he wants to and is compliant.
3) someone, maybe the 1-1, maybe you, to do little exercises with him whenever he's awake (small foot movements, etc.) to keep everything moving...
But even with the above and your help too, I think you've got to be prepared for your dad to give up trying, because it makes him anxious and breathless. I completely understand you don't want him to lose mobility just because it's too much trouble for carers to move him, but I think it's likely he will become bedbound whatever anyone does now.
