Dads in hospital very ill possibly eol

[deepetshopboy]

Hi not sure were to post
But looking for some advice my dad is in hospital admitted via care home Friday march 25 via ambulance i was extremely concerned about him
Flu /chest infection and dehydrated fully mobile was getting over the flu but developed delruim which was bad hyperactive delruim which resulted in aggressive behaviour in there hitting restlessness pulling out canulas roaming around the wards the hospital is a nightmare thats a whole different story

intially he had 1.1 via agency then that was withdrawn and secruity guards planted outside the side room anyway intermittent days he sometimes had a mental health nurse he was gradually getting out of the woods getting better and settling down hes only 74 yrs old fully mobile the hospital wanted him out but as he still had delruim and i was pestering the hospital for a assesment as he needed meds reviewed and urgent help from psychiatrist also care home deceided it would be the perfect time to say they couldn’t meet hes needs he couldn’t be sent out /plus extreme delruim anyway despite me saying my dad needed a 1.1 they constantly provided a secruity guard who didn’t even sit with him instead planted outside the ward often on phones and not looking after him i was complaining constantly saying you need to stay with him so subsequently dad had a fall !! Resulting in broken hip wensday and now on Saturday had a operation i was warned it could be bad as was told if he survived the operation the complications could set and even if not i knew it wil would be a long road ahead with pysio and walking

i got to the hospital at 3 pm and dad was back on the ward chocking gurgling and mumbling i knew something was wrong he was vomiting i got the dr eventually and he called the register who told me she thought was aspirating dad bascially was at deaths door they stabilised him but hes since sunday not ate or drunk ( small sips of water ) very drowsy and they think hes got aspiration pneumonia! On top of that has been put on catheter and hes penis is black very sore swollen and bruised hes agaited in between waking up and ive told them several times today about my concerns and i waited all day to see the urologist to be told not coming maybe tomorrow they have him on drip fliud /oxygen which hes pulled both out /antibiotics/parectumol
Hes been dosed up pulled about etc its cery upsetting and disturbing to watch i feel helpless
hes temperature is high and i dont think hes going come back from this ☹️Hes in a open ward they will not allow me to close the curtains and theres a lot of relatives x 3 sets of patient’s family visiting and sat staring i get no privacy in this very upsetting time i dont know what is next if hes going pull through it every day i have to chase nurses or drs about trying to get answers as the communication is extremely bad and some care assistants nurses lack basic empathy or understanding are rude and quite ignorant i ask questions and many times dont answer !! I barely see the nurse assigned to my dad i think hes being neglected and i have to keep fighting for basic things like clean sheets or bigger things like pain relief like i said its a whole different story and a nightmare up there
can anyone advise me what to expect or been through similar if things escalated ie medically what do i need to ask for
The nurse was talking about a feeding tube tonight ??

 

[Jessbow]

Difficult time, try and stay calm- some of these things they wont be able to resolve.

they wont let you close the curtains- I know you think they aren't but they need to be able to see him ( and you to an extent) if he is agitated.

If he's pulled off oxygendrip etc I guess he's pulling atth catheter-that alone will make his bits bruised and sore .

What you want to happen next is something only you can decide. Do you want himtreated aggresively for infection /Pnumonia etc or are you ready for nature to take its course? Understand that if he's pulling out drips and is struggling to swallow, they will struggle to get pain meds in. Changing sheets with someone they cant get out of bed and is agitated is going to be hard for him and for them- and they wont want to do that at visiting time ifthey can avoid it.

 

[Izzy]

I wondered if you should be contacting the PALS service @deepetshopboy. I’ve no experience of it myself as it doesn’t exist in Scotland. I’ve seen it being discussed on the forum though and might be of help to you -

What is PALS (Patient Advice and Liaison Service)?

Find out more about the Patient Advice and Liaison Service (PALS), which offers confidential advice, support and information on health-related matters.

www.nhs.uk

 

[canary]

My mum fell and broke her hip too and never recovered from it. The surgery went well, but she lost her swallow, stopped eating and drinking and passed away just under 3 weeks later.
Your dad has this on top of the delirium from flu so his body was already weak and the doctors have already said that he is unlikely to survive. I am so sorry that this has happened to your dad, but are you fighting to try and get him well again, or are you willing to let nature take its course and let him pass away? When you get to the end it is often something that you just cannot prevent, unfortunately.

 

[Melles Belles]

@deepetshopboy so sorry to hear your news. You really have fought hard to help your dad. It sounds v stressful. Definitely contact PALS if you have problems contacting the ward and visiting. Both my father and FIL fell and broke a hip and one survived and one didn’t because it’s risky the older you are and depending on other health issues. Both had dementia.
I hope you get to visit today.

 

[Grannie G]

I was offered a nasal feeding tube for my husband @deepetshopboy and declined thinking he would be too frightened and try to pull it out. He had aspiration pneumonia which had been my biggest dread.

It does sound as if your dad is at the end of his life and however hard it is for you, all you can do is try to ensure everything is being done to ease this agitation.

 

[deepetshopboy]

feel I must reply x it’s now Monday so ring ward and ask to make a appointment today if you can with the ward dr preferably consultant to discuss the overall picture .it’s a real shame they can’t provide a cubicle for him and you ,there is still covid patients in many cubicles in hospitals . The nurses should be able to provide information and I’m surprised they havnt got a prescription for some medication to keep him calmer and prevent the catheter etc being pulled . You may have some hard decisions to make I don’t know if you have considered these things before . Give the ward a call early this morning ask to speak to the nurse in charge and ask see dads doctor . Write down a list of concerns and questions . I hope you get some answers , take care

Im going in this morning nobody has said i have to make a appointment ill try and speak to the consultant or dr very short staffed in there and always busy
Im concerns now are hes not eating and the penis /cathater issues and seeing a uriologist
I dont get any information and when i do its nurses and dr saying different things contradicting each other !

 

[deepetshopboy]

My mum fell and broke her hip too and never recovered from it. The surgery went well, but she lost her swallow, stopped eating and drinking and passed away just under 3 weeks later.
Your dad has this on top of the delirium from flu so his body was already weak and the doctors have already said that he is unlikely to survive. I am so sorry that this has happened to your dad, but are you fighting to try and get him well again, or are you willing to let nature take its course and let him pass away? When you get to the end it is often something that you just cannot prevent, unfortunately.

 

[deepetshopboy]

My dads drinking but too drosy and doesn’t want to eat he can barely keep hes eyes open
He might have pneumonia they did a xray at the bed on Saturday i will try and see dr today and get results as well as urologist and see if its possible to get a side ward also due to him agaited and pulling out wires he needs a 1.1 but each evening im told hes not got oneor they coming qnd hes /her been sent to a different patient so im all anxious they keep doing it
Hes got big padded mittens like boxing gloves but tearing them off

 

[deepetshopboy]

@deepetshopboy so sorry to hear your news. You really have fought hard to help your dad. It sounds v stressful. Definitely contact PALS if you have problems contacting the ward and visiting. Both my father and FIL fell and broke a hip and one survived and one didn’t because it’s risky the older you are and depending on other health issues. Both had dementia.
I hope you get to visit today.

Thank you my dad was fairly fit and healthy and only young

 

[deepetshopboy]

I was offered a nasal feeding tube for my husband @deepetshopboy and declined thinking he would be too frightened and try to pull it out. He had aspiration pneumonia which had been my biggest dread.

It does sound as if your dad is at the end of his life and however hard it is for you, all you can do is try to ensure everything is being done to ease this agitation.

Thanks for your reply what happened to your husband did he survive for long did he have a drip my dad has fluid going in and is drinking but not ate sonce Friday due to aspiration and doesn’t open hes mouth too drowsy

 

[Lynmax]

Contact the Dementia Matron, all hospitals have them, to see if she can help with getting the information you need or the basic care your dad needs. I had a lot of help from the Dementia Lead when my mum was being “ held hostage” in hospital earlier this year.

 

[deepetshopboy]

I was offered a nasal feeding tube for my husband @deepetshopboy and declined thinking he would be too frightened and try to pull it out. He had aspiration pneumonia which had been my biggest dread.

It does sound as if your dad is at the end of his life and however hard it is for you, all you can do is try to ensure everything is being done to ease this agitation.

Thanks for your reply what happened to your husband did he survive for long did he have a drip my dad has fluid going in and is drinking but not ate sonce Friday due to aspiration and doesn’t open hes mouth too drowsy

 

[deepetshopboy]

Contact the Dementia Matron, all hospitals have them, to see if she can help with getting the information you need or the basic care your dad needs. I had a lot of help from the Dementia Lead when my mum was being “ held hostage” in hospital earlier this year.

I will try i have her extension number and tried calling not there ill try later

 

[Grannie G]

Thanks for your reply what happened to your husband did he survive for long did he have a drip my dad has fluid going in and is drinking but not ate sonce Friday due to aspiration and doesn’t open hes mouth too drowsy

My husband was fitted with a syringe driver which took all his pain away. Sadly he died very soon after but at least he didn`t die in pain.

 

[deepetshopboy]

Aw s

My husband was fitted with a syringe driver which took all his pain away. Sadly he died very soon after but at least he didn`t die in pain.

Sorry ?

 

[deepetshopboy]

My dads started eating and pulled up a bit hes had a yougurt not out of the woods hes got delruim and very agaited
Hes got pneumonia as well

 

[Starting on a journey]

I am so sorry @deepetshopboy , thoughts are with you both ((hugs))

 

[Jessbow]

I wouldn't encourage him to drink t the moment- Pneumonia is basically fluid on the lungs, which can be as a result of inhaling drinks.

Even if they can 1:1 him, they really wont want to put him in a side room, both for his safety and theirs. I now you want privacy for him, but he really needs to be where they can see him. A nurse on their own in a side room with a delious patient would be open to all sorts of accusations.

How do you feel about them sedating him?

 

[deepetshopboy]

I wouldn't encourage him to drink t the moment- Pneumonia is basically fluid on the lungs, which can be as a result of inhaling drinks.

Even if they can 1:1 him, they really wont want to put him in a side room, both for his safety and theirs. I now you want privacy for him, but he really needs to be where they can see him. A nurse on their own in a side room with a delious patient would be open to all sorts of accusations.

How do you feel about them sedating him?

The drs have taken him of fluid because hes drinkjng
They wont sedate him they said will make the delruim worse he has got olanzipine to help calm him i have been asking if he has had it as hes very agaited and has boxing glives on which he is constantly pulling