Dad diagnosed with Alzheimer's - any advice for 20-something appreciated!

[heidihi24]

Hi there,

My dad's been recently diagnosed with Alzheimer's. Mum and I had our suspicions re. memory loss for the last year or so, but after many appointments with docs and specialists it's been confirmed. Mum was hospitalised earlier this year for a short time and I (24 year old, only child who lives about an hour from family home), went home to care for dad. He had what we described as an 'episode' - unable to recognise me, my boyfriend, the house or understand the situation. Diagnosis came quick after that. I was with them both, off work for 4 weeks to support them, but back in work now and seeing them every week.

I've managed to get them some financial support so hopefully they can both retire as mum is dad's full time carer. He's had a number of 'episodes' over the last few months, some worse than others, but he's struggling with recognising home.

They have a caravan which they go to regularly - he's always loved it, but when returning home, he's finding it hard to understand the house he's lived in for 23 years is his. Or when he does recognise it, he feels he's been away for a long time - months or years.

To strangers he presents very well, so we must have caught it early, however there are things you notice and I presume will get worse.

Sorry for the long ramble, I just wondered if anyone could give me any advice? I'm only 24 (going on 25), and at the start of this journey with my family - I know they'll be heavily reliant on me for support (dad is 65 and mum is 62). He's a former journalist and doesn't have a strong social circle so I'm desperate to find things which could occupy his time, even activities in the home.

Thanks if you decide to read all this!

 

[LadyA]

Welcome, heidihi. You've certainly come to the right place, although I'm sorry you've had to find us.
Not recognising familiar places and becoming disorientated is, unfortunately, very common. So it's vital that your dad carries id with him in case he gets lost. Also, it might be a good (if he doesn't already) to try and make sure he carries something like a mobile phone, so he can be located quickly.

Now too would be the time to get Power of Attorney in place, if you haven't done so already, and to maybe try and look into what's available locally in the line of Day Centres, because your mum is going to need some time out, as things progress. I would also try and introduce a Carer, maybe even for an hour or two a week, for some help for your mum at the moment, who could gradually, as needed, move to doing more with your dad. By introducing someone now, when the time comes that he needs help with personal care etc, it would be a gradual transition, and he would be used to someone coming to the house.

 

[heidihi24]

Welcome, heidihi. You've certainly come to the right place, although I'm sorry you've had to find us.
Not recognising familiar places and becoming disorientated is, unfortunately, very common. So it's vital that your dad carries id with him in case he gets lost. Also, it might be a good (if he doesn't already) to try and make sure he carries something like a mobile phone, so he can be located quickly.

Now too would be the time to get Power of Attorney in place, if you haven't done so already, and to maybe try and look into what's available locally in the line of Day Centres, because your mum is going to need some time out, as things progress. I would also try and introduce a Carer, maybe even for an hour or two a week, for some help for your mum at the moment, who could gradually, as needed, move to doing more with your dad. By introducing someone now, when the time comes that he needs help with personal care etc, it would be a gradual transition, and he would be used to someone coming to the house.

Thank you LadyA - I've sorted Power of Attorney, but a carer coming in, maybe in the guise of a cleaner etc. could be helpful. He presents so well with new people it's difficult for people, especially professionals, to see what's going on although he's on relevant meds now.

He's finding using a mobile phone very difficult, I didn't know if you could get some sort of small tracker - in case he did get lost?

Thanks LadyA.

 

[DMac]

He's finding using a mobile phone very difficult, I didn't know if you could get some sort of small tracker - in case he did get lost?

Welcome to TP, heidihi

Have you contacted your local (borough/town) council? 2 reasons to do so:

1) Council tax disregard for persons with serious mental impairment (SMI). A simple form that needs to be signed by his GP. It will give significant discount on your parents' council tax bill.

2) Home security systems, known as Telecare (in my area anyway). The council will come and install various devices that can help with keeping people safe in their own home, such as wireless smoke alarms that link directly to a call centre, door sensors, falls sensors and personal alarms worn as wrist band or pendant. I believe this system is better value through your council than you would obtain independently. I'm not sure if they would offer a personal tracker device, but I suggest to ask them about this.

You have so much to think about - take your time to process it all. The impact on you and your family's lives could be huge. As and when you think of new questions, just post a new thread on here. Someone will be along shortly to offer advice. Take care. xx

 

[Pickles53]

Hello heidihi

Just to add to DMac's post, I believe you may need to apply for and obtain Attendance Allowance for your Dad (or another qualifying benefit) before you can get the council tax reduction. Check your council's website for the details.

In case you don't know, and assuming that the financial help you mention does not mean you have already sorted AA, it's a long form, but both Age UK and AS have people who can help you with the form and ensure all the key information is included. AA is not means-tested.

Your mum may also qualify for Carers' Allowance, though this does depend on how much she earns.

Sorry if I'm telling you stuff you already know!