Hi there thanks for your reply. It’s totally impossible for me and my sister to leave my dad in the lurch with mum’s care. He only gets respite from this horror when we go over 3 or 4 times a week so he can go out. I feel desperate actually, because now we’ve received the copy of the “ recommendations “ from SALT I believe that the gp will also have this too. The SALT lady wants the doctor to become involved, I think, because of the real risks associated with aspiration. God, I can’t believe it’s come to this- I know my mother is in pain,,,,,,but dad is in a state of denial and won’t ask the palliative team to review the dose of fentanyl. I dare not go behind his back and speak to them myself. This will definitely cause a rift and tbh I just dont feel up to dealing with family tensions as well.
I keep voicing my views re the pain management review- dad actually gets annoyed when I raise this. He maintains that it’s just uncomfortable. Last night my mother had a particularly bad choking episode- she goes purple in the face and can’t catch her breath or cough or anything. My limited knowledge ie off Google, tells me this is putting so much strain on her body one day her heart will just stop. She is incredibly frail.
I think that me and my sister are in a fairly unique situation because my father seems oblivious to the warnings we’ve been given. He just says its a problem with no answer. I am hoping that the gp will intervene now. It’s my view that if the gp ignored the warnings highlighted by SALT, this would be negligent, surely. I’m feeling bleak- I’m seeing my cpn tomorrow, but actually she’s pretty useless. Well, unless because of my personality disorder, I start becoming irrational and/ or a danger to myself. Then I suppose she might actually listen. I just don’t know where this is heading. Last year, me and my OH cancelled holiday plans . This coming year he’s insisting that we go to Crete as planned in May. I have been in this state of high stress and extreme worry for 2 years without a break. This year I’ve been told I need to just carry on with what he booked...... of course even being away is not a break as my father expects daily contact for updates. Sometimes I feel like leaving the house getting on a train and disappearing.