Where to begin?

[Scottd]

Hello Im Scott, Living down in a lovely part of the country in Dorset.
Well here i am in a forum I wish never had to join. It’s been coming for a while but you keep putting off the inevitable, don’t want to lose the person you love but watching them turn into someone you dont know or like is heartbreaking. What makes it harder for myself is My Dad lives in Spain with Mum, she’s out there without a great support network, some good friends though, nearing breaking point herself as dad getting more and more difficult it seems each day. Just feel so helpless. Ive just returned from a week out to give her some much needed rest, I don’t recognise the dad i know, how quickly he’s changed since i last seen him few month back is frightening. Moving back to the UK isn’t an option For them and sadly they cant live with me and buying somewhere, even renting too costly in the South. Don’t know what I’m wanting being here, support, guidance, somewhere to offload? Anything really. just knowing there’s others out there that can relate to the situation.

Thanks all.

 

[Kevinl]

Hello and welcome from me first of all, that said I have absolutely no answers but the beauty of this site is that someone here will.
Meal times tend to be a bit quiet I find on here, however, you've come to the right place. K

 

[Gosling]

Hello @Scottd and firstly welcome to this friendly and supportive forum. There is a wealth of shared experience of dementia to be found here, so I am glad you have found us.

I am sorry to read about your Dad, and the effect it is having on your Mum and you. It's tough for sure. I'm sure you will find lots of support and sound advice here on this forum. Members really do want to help, and you will certainly also find true understanding and empathy. It is such a cruel disease, and people on here have been affected by it in some way or other.
This is also a good place to vent or let off a bit of steam when you need to. Some people find it helpful to put on here how they are feeling and it helps them a bit. Offload as much as you want! This is a safe and friendly space.

 

[Seabream]

Hello Scott. It sounds as if you are facing a brick wall and I really hope things ease for you. The only thing I can offer is that you give another thought to bringing them back to the UK. PLEASE PLEASE talk to the Citizens Advice Bureau about benefits available to them - Pension Credit is the most underclaimed benefit and there should also be Attendance Allowance. That could help with rent . The CAB will advise. Kindest thoughts from me.

 

[Chizz]

Hi @Scottd
Welcome to this forum from me too.
Worth investigating what @Seabream says above, but, of course, depends on how your mum feels.
From what you've said, it seems that your mum must seriously consider having some extra care help at her home. These are private and charge fees. There must be some information available where your mum lives, through the local medical centre or doctor, about these type of care providing companies, who could then attend to assess what care your dad needs, and what help your mum needs, Things can, as you've said, change quickly.
Best wishes