Coming to the end
- Thread starter Missodell18
- Start date
-
- Tags
- alzheimer's disease
Hi @Missodell18 I wish I had news of any kind about my mum but we're still onboard this rollercoaster. Just been to see mum, thankfully I live close to her care home, and the nurse said that she has an irregular heartbeat and very low oxygen levels, but because she drank a small amount of fluid today they won't start the end of life medication that they have waiting for her , so we carry on waiting but it does feel a bit different today
I hope your mum is able to get to somewhere comfortable and caring and closer to you soon
My mum was fit for discharge at the weekend. The nursing home hadn’t held her bed so she couldn’t go back. She was on a ward in the hospital and someone came in with Covid. Everyone in the ward has caught it but my mum is “very symptomatic”. She’s just been confirmed with it today. She’s having some breathing problems but her oxygen levels are okay. They’re treating her with fluids and whatever they do for Covid now.
My dads there with her but I’ve just done a test at home and it’s come up faint, but positive for Covid. I don’t feel ill or have any symptoms. I’ve spoken to the nurse and she advised I keep away if I can but I can go and visit if I really wanted to. I’ve asked her to call if my mum worsens but otherwise I’m staying home. I don’t know if that’s the right thing to do or not. My partner is coming home from work so he can do a test too.
Why’s it all got to be so difficult? I feel so guilty not being there but I don’t know what to do
My dads there with her but I’ve just done a test at home and it’s come up faint, but positive for Covid. I don’t feel ill or have any symptoms. I’ve spoken to the nurse and she advised I keep away if I can but I can go and visit if I really wanted to. I’ve asked her to call if my mum worsens but otherwise I’m staying home. I don’t know if that’s the right thing to do or not. My partner is coming home from work so he can do a test too.
Why’s it all got to be so difficult? I feel so guilty not being there but I don’t know what to do
Im so sorry to hear about this new development with your mum going down with covid. Even if you are testing faintly positive you can still pass the virus onto others, so I think you are right not to go to the hospital.
Its not your fault that you picked up covid, so there is no need for guilt - Im sure you would feel more guilty if you went and passed it on to other patients and staff there.
Its not your fault that you picked up covid, so there is no need for guilt - Im sure you would feel more guilty if you went and passed it on to other patients and staff there.
Yes you’re right. My partner is negative so I’m hoping if I test again tomorrow I might be (or it might be a more definite positive). I feel guilty for not being there for my dad who is very depressed and not in the best health himself anyway, and for my mum of course
Hi @Missodell18 I'm so sorry to hear about the COVID on the ward. I work in a school and it seems to be everywhere at the moment. As @canary said you must try not to feel guilty you will be with your mum and dad soon, and if it is positive tomorrow use it as a forced time to try and take a break, heaven knows we need them at times.
I went to see mum today and she was awake and did tell me to f off a few times, she drank a beaker of juice but hasn't eaten. The nurse on duty today was last on duty last Thursday and she said today that she didn't think she would see my mum again! It amazes me still that she is still hanging on!
I hope the covid stays at bay and that you can see your mum and dad soon x
Thank you, glad to hear your mum is awake and - there’s not really an appropriate word is there? Okayish, I suppose. Comfortable, perhaps. People seem to hang on in there sometimes no matter how it looks.
Tested again today and I got a faint positive yesterday but a definite positive today. I’ve checked the guidelines and it says stay away from people for 5 days, or 10 days from people vulnerable to viruses. So I’m not going to the hospital. I will go if it starts to look a lot worse with my mum but otherwise I’m staying away. My mum’s about the same. They were talking about blood transfusions yesterday but last night the nurse thought it probably wouldn’t be necessary. My dads still going and I get the impression he thinks I’m using it as an excuse to just not visit. There’s nothing bad that can happen that can’t be made worse by adding a huge dollop of guilt.
It sounds like you caught covid at the hospital too @Missodell18
Im sorry that your dad thinks you are just using it as an excuse, its really not. Someone brought the covid virus into the hospital and infected a load of people, including your mum. You dont want to be the person who does that to a load of other people in the hospital.
I hope you are not too bad with it
xxx
Im sorry that your dad thinks you are just using it as an excuse, its really not. Someone brought the covid virus into the hospital and infected a load of people, including your mum. You dont want to be the person who does that to a load of other people in the hospital.
I hope you are not too bad with it
xxx
I’m still testing positive for Covid. I feel absolutely wretched (emotionally) and awful for not being able to visit my mum in hospital. I have next to no symptoms. You can see how easily Covid spreads as if I’d caught it any other way I’d have no idea I had it. My dad thinks I should just wear a mask and visit anyway, which is causing a lot of arguments and stress too. Meanwhile my mums still ill, but I’m had a phone call from hospital discharge person yesterday (confusing as I don’t think she’s fit for discharge yet). I think they thought I was going to request some fancy mega bucks nursing home but all I want is one that won’t involve hours driving to and from it, which she seemed a bit more amenable to. Cross your fingers for us.
Im sorry you are still positive.
I hope it all works out for you and your mum. Care/nursing homes dont need to be fancy superbucks places to be good
xx
I hope it all works out for you and your mum. Care/nursing homes dont need to be fancy superbucks places to be good
xx
I’m finally testing negative for Covid at last. My problem now is I have a 4 year old and no one else to look after her and I’m not sure I should take her visiting with me. My dad has been visiting and he says Mum is pretty vacant looking, she’s not eating much, only now and then. It’s not a good sign
When I go on my own I stay longer. The hospital my mums in at the moment is quite a way away from us so I’ve been staying longer than I would normally. However I’ve took my 4 yo before for shorter periods. She’s usually quite good though does get a bit bored after a while of course. I haven’t took her to this hospital before though as my mum was in a ward where everyone was quite ill, but my mums been moved to a different ward now.
I’m concerned about her catching Covid too though, just before school starts again!
My mum’s declining I think. She’s back on oxygen after her levels dropped to 83 overnight and she’s low on potassium too so on a drip for that. They’re going to do another chest X-ray today and then she might be back on antivirals again.
I still haven’t been able to visit. I’ve decided against taking my daughter as it’s a Covid ward my mums in now. I don’t have any childcare so I can’t visit today. I can go tomorrow and Sunday and then I don’t know.
Some days they’re talking about discharging mum back to a nursing home, other days it seems like she might never come out of hospital again, so I don’t know where we are with it all.
My dad will probably get his hospital appointment for lung cancer treatment next week. That’s going to be at another hospital again, also about an hour away in the other direction so that’s going to be extra hard. Half of the reason why I wish they could discharge my mum back to a more local nursing home. I had a phone call from a social worker about it on Christmas Eve and she said she’d call back
either Wednesday or Thursday this week- haven’t heard anything of course. The phone number just has an answer phone on it. So frustrating when they don’t give you a proper expectation.
I still haven’t been able to visit. I’ve decided against taking my daughter as it’s a Covid ward my mums in now. I don’t have any childcare so I can’t visit today. I can go tomorrow and Sunday and then I don’t know.
Some days they’re talking about discharging mum back to a nursing home, other days it seems like she might never come out of hospital again, so I don’t know where we are with it all.
My dad will probably get his hospital appointment for lung cancer treatment next week. That’s going to be at another hospital again, also about an hour away in the other direction so that’s going to be extra hard. Half of the reason why I wish they could discharge my mum back to a more local nursing home. I had a phone call from a social worker about it on Christmas Eve and she said she’d call back
either Wednesday or Thursday this week- haven’t heard anything of course. The phone number just has an answer phone on it. So frustrating when they don’t give you a proper expectation.
Oh, I am so sorry to hear about your mum @Missodell18
Its a worrying time
(((((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))
Its a worrying time
(((((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))
I am sorry to read all this @Missodell18 . This is really putting you 'through the mill' as they say. I am sorry. I hope there is more positive news that your Mum can be discharged back to a nursing home. What, with your Dad having to start cancer treatment very soon too - a real worry for you. I am sorry. Do try to persevere with trying to contact SS, although I know how frustrating that can be.
Thank you both.
I’ve been able to visit these last couple of days (writing this from the hospital while my mums asleep!) I’m glad I didn’t bring my 4 year old. I was tempted but now I’ve seen where my mum is I don’t think it would have been a good idea to bring her. She’s in a ward with 4 others with Covid. Some of them aren’t doing very well.
Doctors are currently investigating whether mum has another infection as well as the Covid. The chest X-ray was okay, no pneumonia but they’re still investigating and doing blood tests. Mums back on antibiotics. Im worried it’s her gall bladder again though they’ve not said that. It’s just it keeps flaring up every time the antibiotics have ended. So it’s not looking great.
Apologies for the long post. It’s turned into a diary.
I’ve been able to visit these last couple of days (writing this from the hospital while my mums asleep!) I’m glad I didn’t bring my 4 year old. I was tempted but now I’ve seen where my mum is I don’t think it would have been a good idea to bring her. She’s in a ward with 4 others with Covid. Some of them aren’t doing very well.
Doctors are currently investigating whether mum has another infection as well as the Covid. The chest X-ray was okay, no pneumonia but they’re still investigating and doing blood tests. Mums back on antibiotics. Im worried it’s her gall bladder again though they’ve not said that. It’s just it keeps flaring up every time the antibiotics have ended. So it’s not looking great.
Apologies for the long post. It’s turned into a diary.
Oh and getting nowhere fast with social services. Honestly half of the stress is the fact you have to constantly chase and chase. No one calls back when they say they will. You have to ask for the same things multiple times. The whole system needs such an overhaul.
I'm glad you have been able to visit your Mum at least, but sorry she is still so poorly. Please never apologise for a long post (or a short one come to that) , it's often good to get things down in writing - it sometimes helps.
Chasing SS can be so so frustrating. As you say it doesn't help when you have all the worries of your Mum. Wishing you all the very best.
Chasing SS can be so so frustrating. As you say it doesn't help when you have all the worries of your Mum. Wishing you all the very best.
