Christmas gifts for people with dementia

[PamD]

Mother is amazingly enthusiastic about a fleecey rug/blanket we got her (£10 on offer in BHS) - she keeps saying how warm and light it is, comparing it to old wool rugs, and how it's so much easier to put it over her knees rather than switching on the electric fire if she feels chilly (and that's a relief as it's so much safer too). Because fleece is something relatively newly invented she finds it a wonderful novelty. (And keeps asking "Where did this come from?", and then "Oh I must owe you a lot of money, you must let me know how much I owe" despite the fact that she's written me a cheque each month of the 22 months we've been here with her).

I think in many cases it would be wise to just buy a tiny present (chocs etc), where nothing else will be appreciated/noticed/remembered, and give whatever money you feel appropriate either to the home's residents activity fund as someone did above, or to Alz Soc to fight the battle on a broad front. But of course, as ever, all the people we are caring for are different, and one size does not fit all.

Pam

 

[Saffie]

Pam - I must say that one of the most successful presents to my husband of recent times was that of my daughter last Christmas. He was then in a community hospital and she bought him 3 things - a fleecy blanket, a cushion and a large towel. The best thing was that they all have the welsh dragon on them -the blanket's being huge - like a massive flag. Being welsh, he loved them immediatley and now has the blanket over his leg when in his special chair in the nursing home. Both that and the pillow have been washed frequently and still look and feel good. I think I might suggest another one - for when the existing one is in the wash!

Grobertson - I have also thought of getting a cuddly dog for him as we have a Golden Retriever at home and, although I do take her in visits sometimes, my husband gets upset because his chair is too high for him to pat her properly- or even see her, and, of course, with his amputation site being so painful we cannot risk her putting her paws on his lap. I love the one I saw in J... L.... last year. It does most of what a real dog would do and even looks like our dog! but at nearly £100, it is a tad expensive! I'm also concerned that he will think it is a real dog - it is so lifelike!
!

 

[Petrina]

I've been putting stuff on one side. We always used to be a family that gave token presents and did the big spending on what was needed as and when. For example, my brother and I haven't exchanged presents for Christmas or birthday for thirty years, but when his washing machine died, I bought him a new one.

But it's tough for Dad. Last year was his first Christmas without Mum. I can't make it happy, but I can make it less painful, and I shall do what I did last year.

I shall cook him a nice lunch, make him turkey sandwiches for tea, and buy a couple of old films to watch on Christmas Day and Boxing Day. You can't go wrong with an old Fred Astaire. You know the storyline - man meets woman, they argue a bit, there are some misunderstandings, it all works out and they live happily ever after. In the meantime, there are songs and dances.

I've got him some CDs of music he enjoyed when he was younger, having tried him out on a bit on an old tape first. I've got him a book of photos of somewhere he lived when he was younger and has fond memories of. I've got him a book of funny anecdotes about senior moments. He's read another three in the series and finds them very funny, and because they're short chunks, maybe 500 words or so, you don't have to have much of a working memory to get to the punchline without forgetting the beginning of the anecdote.

When Christmas is close, I'll get him some magazines, again because they have short chunks of stuff. I'll get him some nice chocolate and some cakes and biscuits to stock up his kitchen, because when I go home on Christmas night, it'll be lonely, so he might as well have something nice to eat when he gets up in the night. Maybe a nice bottle of wine, too.

I'm lucky in that I've saved for a rainy day so I can splash out, but much of this could be afforded anyway. For example, you can get a video/dvd online secondhand for around £3 - £4 including postage and my local charity shops are doing them for 4 for 50p. The book of photos was secondhand and again I got it online, but it's amazing what you find in charity shops or can get if you spread the word you want a book on something.

I wish he'd let me replace his pullover. We went into M&S for some shirts and I tried to steer him towards the pullovers but he just looked at the ones right next to him and said they were no good. I suspect, though, that it's not just about liking his pullover, it's that Mum bought it for him and it's a bit like a favourite cuddly toy.

 

[Bristolbelle]

A couple of ideas.........

Firstly I have to say the fleece blanket was a HUGE success, you can get some with pictures on Mum loved her one with dolphins.
wiability I have fun she seems to like the small hand sized "koosh" type toys to hold, indeed when she was still well enough for a gentle game of catch these were ideal - quite safe for indoor fun.

I am pretty sure she has also got pleasure from light catchers, and the DVDs I bought her of virtual aqauriums/seashores etc. These can be put on TV on a loop so they can be soothing at night etc when you are not around.

Now I have bought her several of those "gel" window stickers, only 99p a set, and I'm not sure how much she likes them but at least when she turns her head she can see some differnt colourts and shapes - the ones she has at the moment are vases of flowers, but you can get all sorts and I have some Xmas ones ready to put up soon.

 

[Petrina]

Oh dear, one plan fell through. I explained to Dad about google maps and said I'd found one of the road he lived in during the war and how he could look at it when he's round here and find the house and he said he didn't want to. That's plans my brother and I had to go out there on the train and take a photo of the house and have it framed. I thought he liked living there, but from his tone of voice, he's got some sort of bad memories of it. To be fair, he's never talked much about it, the places he's been more interested in seeing pictures of were pre-war.

Maybe I could put together a collection of pictures of the place where he now lives (and has done for many years). I expect if I asked around, various neighbours would have pictures I could get copied.

 

[turbo]

I have been reading the various threads on Christmas gifts and they have been a big help. This is the first year I have struggled to find a gift for my mum and MIL. I have now decided to get personalised fleece throws for them both. (things always go missing in mum's care home) Everything seems to be washed at 60 degrees so I'm a bit worried about the washing aspect.

Turbo