Oh Casbow, it's so difficult. I hope the new Kylie sheets are better for you.
The thing I found most helpful was to sit my OH on the commode when he got up and before he went to bed, but if your husband is mobile that may not be possible. It was much more difficult when he was able to get around.
Do you have a wet room? I don't know how I would manage without this and the shower chair. You may be able to get a grant to have one installed :
https://www.gov.uk/disabled-facilities-grants/overview
There is a financial assessment and we didn't qualify despite being under the 23,000. They said we could afford to take out a loan
If we had and something happened to my husband then I wouldn't have been able to afford the repayments on my income.
There is something called 'Bowel Training'. Don't know much about it myself but it might be useful to google it, also the Incontinence Service may be able to advise. It is an awful problem, I really feel for you.
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