1. Expert Q&A: Living well as a carer - Thurs 29 August, 3-4pm

    As a carer for a person living with dementia, the needs of the person you care for will often come before your own. You may experience a range of difficult emotions and you may not have the time to do all the things you need to do. Caring can have a big impact on both your mental and physical health, as well as your overall wellbeing.

    Angelo, our Knowledge Officer (Wellbeing) is our expert on this topic. He will be here to answer your questions on Thursday 29 August between 3-4pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

  1. Casbow

    Casbow Registered User

    Sep 3, 2013
    988
    Colchester
    It was a Care home with a dementia unit. I thought it looked ok and the staff seemed cheerful and all spoke to us. Anyway I got it very wrong. So now don't feel capable of choosing one again. I cannot say how to find out how good the dementia units are at care homes. Suggest you speak to Social worker or maybe ask on line for one that is good. What is emi unit. Or is it the same as a dementia unit. I do wish you luck with finding somewhere. Trouble is I only have 3 hours on a Friday to look at places. Best to ask anyone and everyone you know if they have friends or relatives that might have experience of homes.All the best casbow.x
     
  2. angiebails

    angiebails Registered User

    Oct 8, 2009
    227
    crewe
    He it seems hard I have been using carehomes.co.uk which lists the homes and most have lots of reviews written by relatives , it also has a link to the reports by care quality commission with detailed reports on various aspects, you do have to take an overall view but at least it's a start when you are short on time. We also have a local group on line which was called street wise and it is now called Nextdoor (which is also available as an app) where local people can ask questions regarding anything and a lady brought this subject up and got lots of honest answers from relatives who had family in local care homes. Gave me lots of ideas.


    Sent from my iPad using Talking Point
     
  3. Casbow

    Casbow Registered User

    Sep 3, 2013
    988
    Colchester
    Well David came out of the care home a week ago today. He has been so different. Apart from the tiredness for a few days and trying to get his bottom better as he has sores (Thanks to the care home) he has been so nice to look after. No aggression, no refusal of personal care, and lots of thank you,s. And then this morning at 9.00 he had another seizure. I really thought the tablets were to stop seizures. Anyway paramedics as usual so brilliant and kind. Because he had the fit in the bathroom he became wedged in the corner and after trying everything else (David wouldn't or couldn't co-operate) so he had to be pulled out by his legs until someone could get behind him to get him in a sitting position. they asked if i wanted him to go to hospital and I said no, as long as they thought it o.k. So we got him back to bed where he still is. He has been asleep all the time except when i give him a drink and I gave him weetabix at 12. So now I wait to see if he has been changed again.!! I hate seeing him have these fits. It is very distressing.xx
     
  4. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    59,262
    Female
    Dundee
    Oh Casbow, what a shame. I'm so sorry to hear about David's seizure today. It must be very frightening, and worrying too. I hope the rest he is having today helps a little.
     
  5. LadyA

    LadyA Registered User

    Oct 19, 2009
    13,478
    Ireland
  6. chick1962

    chick1962 Registered User

    Apr 3, 2014
    11,265
    Female
    near Folkestone
    I am so sorry casbow , such a worry . Warmest hugs xxxx


    Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
     
  7. Casbow

    Casbow Registered User

    Sep 3, 2013
    988
    Colchester
    Needed to change him. He was awake so I asked him if he would like to walk to the bathroom so i could just make him more comfortable. He was so horrible to me. I did get him changed but it was very difficult and I thought he was going to hit me. Lets hope he will become nice again!!!
     
  8. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,139
    Kent
    I`m so sorry Casbow. It`s so upsetting.
     
  9. cuppatea

    cuppatea Registered User

    Oct 28, 2016
    394
    South Wales
    Oh awful for you. So sorry your brilliant care is so difficult. X
     
  10. esmeralda

    esmeralda Registered User

    Nov 27, 2014
    3,072
    Devon
    What a rollercoaster for you Casbow. You must be feeling really down having the horrible behaviour back after a good week with him. The threat of physical violence is very worrying, I'm sure you've had other advice about how to deal with this but do take care to keep yourself as safe as possible.
    xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
     
  11. Casbow

    Casbow Registered User

    Sep 3, 2013
    988
    Colchester
    Well today has been quite ok. I would have liked to wash his hair but no way was he havin g that. Never mind maybe tomorrow. I have another problem. He had been turning off the out side light for a long while which is probably not a big deal but we have no street lights in the village so milk and newspaper deliveries are in the pitch black unless people have lights that come on. Then he started turning on the immersion heater electric switch. We use oil and that heats the water as well as the radiators. Then he has started turning up thermostat for the central heating to 35 . I can actually smell the heating apart from the discomfort. Then today i found an electric cooker plate full on. Does anyone else have this problem. I find it very worrying. I can turn of the cooker at source (If I remember) but don't know what else to do..xxx
     
  12. LadyA

    LadyA Registered User

    Oct 19, 2009
    13,478
    Ireland
    For outside lights, you could get a motion sensor light- even a battery operated one maybe? The immersion switch, maybe an electrician could move the switch and leave a"dummy" switch where the switch is now?
    The heating thermostat, I'm afraid I have no ideas at all!

    Sent from my Moto G Play using Talking Point mobile app
     
  13. Casbow

    Casbow Registered User

    Sep 3, 2013
    988
    Colchester
    Hi LadyA. Good idea about the immersion heater switch. The thing is I will just have to be more vigilant. x
     
  14. Casbow

    Casbow Registered User

    Sep 3, 2013
    988
    Colchester
    Solved the problem of the switch for the hot water. "Turned it of at the main power box." So now he can turn the switch and no power to it.x Friends have also found a cover for the central heating control that can be locked, so I have ordered that. Clever old me.!!! x
     
  15. LadyA

    LadyA Registered User

    Oct 19, 2009
    13,478
    Ireland
  16. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    9,898
    Female
    South coast
    Its always a nice feeling to solve a problem :)
     
  17. Casbow

    Casbow Registered User

    Sep 3, 2013
    988
    Colchester
    Hi. Since Davids seizure on Monday he has settled again and is so quiet and happy in his own way. He just sits and fiddles with his cards,keys, bits of plastic etc and talks quietly to him self all the time. Still haven't asked him to have a shower but managing with adult wipes and flannel and soap. Walk before we can run i think. Today he has slept more than usual but I think it is because he is so relaxed now. I need to get sorted on the financial side of things. Keep putting it off. xx
     
  18. LadyA

    LadyA Registered User

    Oct 19, 2009
    13,478
    Ireland
    Glad things have been calm Casbow. Let's hope they continue that way. xx

    Sent from my Moto G Play using Talking Point mobile app
     
  19. cuppatea

    cuppatea Registered User

    Oct 28, 2016
    394
    South Wales
    Good news that peace has returned. Try to do the financial stuff, I felt so relieved when it was done, one less thing to worry about.
     
  20. Casbow

    Casbow Registered User

    Sep 3, 2013
    988
    Colchester
    Today has been a good day. Then this evening he said he needed a wee. I just said OK. He often does say that, but only walks out of the room and back in again. He goes to use the toilet but is too late. This evening he came back in the lounge and sat next to me. I have towels on both settees because of the dog hairs. Next thing I looked and saw his pad had been dumped on the settee. Anyway he was very wet so I took him to the bathroom and got him ready for bed. When I went back to the lounge he had wet two of the settee cushions quite badly. I have sprayed them with fabreeze but don't know if it will be enough. Then tonight I know he will wet the bed enough to warrant a kylie, top sheet, duvet cover and if I am really unlucky the bottom sheet and at least one pillowcase. It is costing a lot in electric to wash dry everything and i am worn out. Anyone have any suggestions. xxx
     

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