1. Casbow

    Casbow Registered User

    Sep 3, 2013
    1,002
    Colchester
    Hi Sajimjo. Thank you for your comments. I do feel that if children grow up in a stable family, with happy parents it does help them to form good relationships when they grow up. Both my husbands parents and mine had very long and happy marriages. That is not to say that there were never problems but people in a good marriage can usually get through most problems.x
     
  2. margherita

    margherita Registered User

    May 30, 2017
    2,456
    Female
    Italy, Milan and Acqui Terme
    A beautiful (and moving) story of two beautiful souls..
    Life has been generoous , but also cruel with you
    Children born of loveless marriages find it more difficult to learn what love is, since they did not have models and examples in their early childhood.
    My husband lived with his parents and sister only until he was six. Then he had to move to his uncle's house because his parents did not have " time and a spare room for him"
     
  3. Casbow

    Casbow Registered User

    Sep 3, 2013
    1,002
    Colchester
    How people can treat their children so badly i will never understand. How do they live with themselves. No wonder some people have such troubled lives.xx
     
  4. Casbow

    Casbow Registered User

    Sep 3, 2013
    1,002
    Colchester
    Thank you so much for the flowers. What a lovely thought.xx
     
  5. Casbow

    Casbow Registered User

    Sep 3, 2013
    1,002
    Colchester
    I went to see David yesterday and he was very distant and not bothered who i was or even if I was there. He then messed himself and I had to get the carers to sort that out. It took three of them as he will not be calm about it. I waited outside his room and found myself crying. so sad to see him like this. Now today a phone call to tell me David has had another seizure and the ambulance was called. I went to the hospital and as I went in from one door, he was coming the other way, wheeled on the trolley by paramedics. When I said hello to David he started to cry and hugged me close saying how pleased he was I was there and he was so obviously scared. A person with dementia must get really frightened when all of a sudden there are people all around him, lots of talking, people trying to help him but he has no idea why. Then arriving at a very busy A&E with all sorts going on he was very distressed. the paramedics were lovely and we then had to wait for one and half hours to get to triage. It was so busy and queing in the corridors. The staff were really kind and did their best. But it was a long wait. Anyway I ended up taking him back to the home in my car. The wait for an ambulance was 3-4 hours. I am hopeful that he will be ok for the night. His medication was missed this a.m. and he didn't have anything to eat or drink until I got him back to the care home at 4.00p.m. So I will go to see him again tomorrow. My lovely man.xxx
     
  6. HillyBilly

    HillyBilly Registered User

    Dec 21, 2015
    1,947
    Ireland
    So sorry to hear of today's awfulness Casbow.
    Does David need to go to A&E every time he has a seizure?
    You must be very concerned and I do hope that this night is without further trauma for you both. x
     
  7. notsogooddtr

    notsogooddtr Registered User

    Jul 2, 2011
    898
    Such upset for you.Take care.
     
  8. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    70,114
    Kent
    Poor David , Casbow and poor you. I can imagine how you must be feeling.

    I`ve never experienced seeing a seizure but the very thought of them makes my blood run cold. They sound so frightening.

    I hope there`ll be no after effects and tomorrow`s visit will be incident free.
     
  9. sajimjo

    sajimjo Registered User

    Jun 18, 2013
    130
    Female
    Staffordshire
    So sorry to hear about David's seizure, must be very frightening for you both. My OH had epileptic seizures daily until medication given, which made him more confused and affected his mobility, I think.
    Hope you don't loose too much sleep over it and tomorrow is a better day.
     
  10. margherita

    margherita Registered User

    May 30, 2017
    2,456
    Female
    Italy, Milan and Acqui Terme
    So sorry, Casbow. I can only imagine how frightened both of you must have been
     
  11. LadyA

    LadyA Registered User

    Oct 19, 2009
    13,551
    Ireland
    So sorry to hear this Casbow.
    Just wondering, do you think the sort of "distance" you saw in him when you visited was caused by the approach of the seizure? When dau was very young, she used to get febrile convulsions if she had even the tiniest temperature, often when there was no sign at all that she was ill. And she would often go into this kind of distant, unresponsive, hard to get through to state before she'd have a convulsion.
     
  12. Casbow

    Casbow Registered User

    Sep 3, 2013
    1,002
    Colchester
    I don't know Lady A. I hope he doesn't have another one but will be aware of that next time. If my visit is at the right time of course. This time it has been 4 months since the last one. But the other thing is that they have a bit of trouble with his medication, especially in the morning. Which includes epilepsy tablets. Some times he just spits them out.!! x
     
  13. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    60,141
    Female
    Dundee
    Oh Casbow I'm so sorry to read this. How heartbreaking for you. It must have been very frightening for both of you. I hope today is a better day.
     
  14. Jinx

    Jinx Registered User

    Mar 13, 2014
    2,333
    Pontypool
    Casbow,so sorry to read your husband has had a seizure with the resultant visit to A&E. I always dreaded it when my husband had to be taken into hospital it's such a confusing experience for a PWD. Glad he's back safe in the home and hope there are no more problems. xxxx
     
  15. Casbow

    Casbow Registered User

    Sep 3, 2013
    1,002
    Colchester
    Thank you all for your comments. David is fine now and settled back in his own room. I visited the next day and Saturday and Sunday. He seems very away with the fairies and happy in his own world. So as long as he isn't distressed that is ok. Our eldest son is coming from London on Thursday and I am looking forward to that. He wants to see his Dad and we will have lunch out. So a nice long chat will be lovely. Look forward to that. Will be seeing David tomorrow as well.xxx
     
  16. LadyA

    LadyA Registered User

    Oct 19, 2009
    13,551
    Ireland
    Hope you have a good visit with your son, Casbow, and can enjoy some stress free time together.
    I'm glad your husband is content. Obviously, things are not as you would like them to be, ideally, but relatively speaking, content is good. Hugs to you.
     
  17. Casbow

    Casbow Registered User

    Sep 3, 2013
    1,002
    Colchester
    I was going to write tomorrow to say about out sons visit but now he isn't visiting until Sunday when he will have his wife and children with him. So back to the usual chaos and I will not be ale to talk to him with any kind of peace. so disappointed. I never get to see him on his own. That is the problem when they live a distance away. Oh well. maybe another time.xx
     
  18. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    70,114
    Kent
    That`s a disappointment Casbow. I expect your son doesn`t realise how important it is for you to have some time on your own with him.
     
  19. Casbow

    Casbow Registered User

    Sep 3, 2013
    1,002
    Colchester
    Our son came on his own on Sunday. So although it was very hot we had a really nice catch up chat and visited David. Son really happy with the home and also that his Dad appears to be settled and calm. Which I think David is most of the time. He still struggles with the personal care but otherwise they say he is calm. At the moment I am yrtinh to sort out finances after the assessment. Still not sure what happens. For example they take his savings and half of any joint savings. Where does that go.? I am left with half his private pension but that isn't enough to pay my contribution to his fees. I am applying for pension credit but know know yet if I will get it or how much. So I am going to the bank this pm after visiting David, to cancel some Direct debits. And I have to get latest figures for ISA,s and saving accounts as the last statements we had where March. It is all so complicated for my pea brain.xxx
     
  20. LadyA

    LadyA Registered User

    Oct 19, 2009
    13,551
    Ireland
    In last week's Woman's Weekly magazine (the one dated 20th June), there was an excellent article about Benefits. They mentioned a charity that helps people sort out what benefits they may be entitled to. It's called Turn2Us. www.turn2us.org.uk It also mentioned Age UK's advice line 0800 169 2081
     

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