Even with my assistance The Banjoman wouldn’t try using my iPad to talk with his daughter even before he entered Residential care so I’m sure he wouldn’t have understood it when there.
It’s breaking my heart too. Every word you have written is correct. My mum is going downhill daily. I long to hold her and if nothing else let her know that I love her. If things carry on like this I don’t think my mum will last the winter, and she will die with the thoughts that her family who she adores have forgotten her. Just not sure how I will ever live with that. If I could bring her home I would do it in a heartbeat.
Even with my assistance The Banjoman wouldn’t try using my iPad to talk with his daughter even before he entered Residential care so I’m sure he wouldn’t have understood it when there.
I’m going through the painful process of putting mum in a care home and your thoughts make me question my decision.
Given the chance would you make the same decision?
I’m on the verge of moving mum to a care home and I’m trying to be respectful and not lie to her, I know about love lies but mum had a level of awareness of what’s happening.
I am in the same position. My dad needs 24/7 really. He has done for a while. He has a lot of self awareness so knows what is going on. Apart from his memory he needs prompting to drink etc. His overall problems are his mobility.. I’m going to be moving his bed into the dining room to enable all of us carers to help him. If this doesn’t work there is nothing left to do. I’m loath to send him to a care home tbh. So I know what you are going through..Given the chance would you make the same decision?
I’m on the verge of moving mum to a care home and I’m trying to be respectful and not lie to her, I know about love lies but mum had a level of awareness of what’s happening.
I am in the same position. My dad needs 24/7 really. He has done for a while. He has a lot of self awareness so knows what is going on. Apart from his memory he needs prompting to drink etc. His overall problems are his mobility.. I’m going to be moving his bed into the dining room to enable all of us carers to help him. If this doesn’t work there is nothing left to do. I’m loath to send him to a care home tbh. So I know what you are going through..
My mum wasn’t drinking when she was at home, the carers were making her drinks but she was leaving them. So got lots of UTIs When I could go in I got her to drink but then Covid hit and the care agency wouldn’t let me go in. So she went downhill. I can’t help feeling that my state of exhaustion and frustration contributed to the decision but I tried so hard and in the end the social worker said it was the right thing. Hopefully moving your dads bed will help. Get as much help as you can to keep your dad at home.I am in the same position. My dad needs 24/7 really. He has done for a while. He has a lot of self awareness so knows what is going on. Apart from his memory he needs prompting to drink etc. His overall problems are his mobility.. I’m going to be moving his bed into the dining room to enable all of us carers to help him. If this doesn’t work there is nothing left to do. I’m loath to send him to a care home tbh. So I know what you are going through..
Hi. Dad has carers 4X a day with me doing some. He is self funding but he lives in a small bungalow so it is getting to be really restricting with all of his equipment. But we will carry on as much as we (me) is able too.Hi Hun.. dont know your specific circumstances and what care you feel able to provide.. however.. depending on what care family etc can provide, and his needs (continence, skin integrity, health needs and mobility) are apart from his dementia needs, it is possible in many or even most cases for a persons care to be provided at home rather than in a care home.. and often at less cost to the LA (local authority) to do so, however as an addendum here, most LAs are reluctant to do ao and prefer to place in care homes.. care has at times been shown to be inferior to what can be provided at home if adequate support can be provided, but that still is generally the preferred route, and fighting for that care package to remain at home is often near impossible.. I hope you are able to get some suitable resolution whatever you ultimately decide is right for your loved one.. you know best what works for them.. not an unknown official.. or whoever.. and if a care home is what is needed you will make the right decision.. but.. especially right now.. whatever choice you make is very difficult.. wishing you all the best whatever you decide
I hope nobody thinks I was criticising @Louise7 in my post for mentioning the iPads .
Hi. Dad has carers 4X a day with me doing some. He is self funding but he lives in a small bungalow so it is getting to be really restricting with all of his equipment. But we will carry on as much as we (me) is able too.
I will. Dad leaves a lot of his drinks unless prompted. He also has a catheter and kidney disease so it is important. A bit like pulling teeth sometimes tbh..My mum wasn’t drinking when she was at home, the carers were making her drinks but she was leaving them. So got lots of UTIs When I could go in I got her to drink but then Covid hit and the care agency wouldn’t let me go in. So she went downhill. I can’t help feeling that my state of exhaustion and frustration contributed to the decision but I tried so hard and in the end the social worker said it was the right thing. Hopefully moving your dads bed will help. Get as much help as you can to keep your dad at home.
So sorry to hear.. this must be so hard for you and your dad.. hope it gets better for you guys. Wishing you all the best.. and big socially distant hugs..Hi. Dad has carers 4X a day with me doing some. He is self funding but he lives in a small bungalow so it is getting to be really restricting with all of his equipment. But we will carry on as much as we (me) is able too.
We can only do what we can do. None of this is easy.My mum wasn’t drinking when she was at home, the carers were making her drinks but she was leaving them. So got lots of UTIs When I could go in I got her to drink but then Covid hit and the care agency wouldn’t let me go in. So she went downhill. I can’t help feeling that my state of exhaustion and frustration contributed to the decision but I tried so hard and in the end the social worker said it was the right thing. Hopefully moving your dads bed will help. Get as much help as you can to keep your dad at home.
So sorry to hear Sarah, but yes if you are in a situation where health is so badly affected you do what you must. Sadly not all care homes appropriately deal with such needs either, hence the reason I am trying to help a freind get her mum back home.. in her case it seems the care home are happy not to help with food or fluids etc.. most care homes do.. but her situation is bad in care.. cannot believe agency prevented a family member from providimg assistance though.. surely that is against her best interests and legally unenforcable? But I understand why tgey would do so given the governments advice that leaves it as their responsibility if one gets covid.. so sorry they acted this way and hope that both you and mum are ok.. big hugsWe can only do what we can do. None of this is easy.