It must have been so hard on you as a child, in comparison to how we nurture our children and love them unconditionally, horrible situation for you xHi @Margi29
It is helping. Although I felt like I was explaining a lot of my childhood to someone who hadn’t a clue. My parents were very strict. Mum certainly didn’t want children & dad was an only child with no real idea of what children were.
People have this rose tinted view of growing up abroad, but while the beaches are great, sailing is fun etc, the children (myself included) don’t see a lot of their parents, it’s a fractured relationship with boarding school, bullying & having to grow up young. To all intents I left home at 8, I saw my parents 3 times a year, till I was 16, then twice a year till I was 19. I guess I loved the idea of them, but didn’t know them.
Yes I’m here every day. Sometimes I resent it. Sometimes I just care for her like she’s a stranger, other times, she’s very sweet & I have a glimpse of the Mum I was starting to love when Alzheimers knocked on the door.
Yesterday I felt so guilty about the counselling & describing Mum. Today it felt justified. Tonight I just know I need a pressure release.
I took big brother fishing. I came home to a disaster. I’d washed & hung all the towels. She’d moved every one. She also did the little washing of hers from today, meaning there was no room for me to do mine. I really needed to do mine today :-(
Mum now has COPD, so she’d hung all her wet washing in her bedroom ??? I had to move everything. I was not happy.
She’s also been rooting around in the shed, looking for “something”. I told her she must know it’s not a good idea if she waits till I’m out to do it
Mum then told me “you can’t keep me a prisoner just because you don’t want me to fall”
I give up. Seriously. I just walked away & set to on the paperwork.
Ive left her to her own devises. She’s returned for dinner as sweet little old lady.
To quote you, .... give me strength
Yes, sometimes I say ' give me strength ' multiple times during day, it's like a pressure cooker waiting for the next crisis to implode!!!
You can only do what you do, to help to keep her safe, maybe a sharp ' I won't be visiting every day if you end up in hospital ' may curtail her actions??? ( I know she will forget though)
Mum tonight for me, she behaved apparently for carer last night, please say there is no full moon tonight !!!