Can I ... Should I?

[Slugsta]

Sam, I am glad that you had a peaceful day yesterday and hope today follows suit.

 

[Sam Luvit]

Sunday was peaceful @canary, but the sun has taken off again & so yesterday was hard. Mum is complaining about her arm hurting, but she won’t do the exercises & she needs to move it to get the swelling down. I’ve given in & booked her in with P the paramedic for a check up later today. At least I can then carry on nagging her to try & straighten her fingers :-(

Although I’m very tired, I’m also full of restless energy, so I scrubbed the bathroom yesterday. It smelt lovely & clean. I had a coffee, went back upstairs & found P on the loo & on the floor. Not so sweet smelling. It was like 30 minutes. It’s so blooming frustrating :-(

 

[Sam Luvit]

Morning @Slugsta

It’s so good to have a peaceful day. I almost don’t move in case it changes I have lots of good intentions for today, as it’s damp & chilly, but I also know that means Mum will most likely settle in the lounge & fall asleep. Hoovering then becomes a problem & my housework blitz doesn’t happen I could file the paperwork, but I’m sure I’ll find a reason to leave it till tomorrow (again). It’s just so blooming boring

 

[Slugsta]

Sunday was peaceful @canary, but the sun has taken off again & so yesterday was hard. Mum is complaining about her arm hurting, but she won’t do the exercises & she needs to move it to get the swelling down. I’ve given in & booked her in with P the paramedic for a check up later today. At least I can then carry on nagging her to try & straighten her fingers :-(

Although I’m very tired, I’m also full of restless energy, so I scrubbed the bathroom yesterday. It smelt lovely & clean. I had a coffee, went back upstairs & found P on the loo & on the floor. Not so sweet smelling. It was like 30 minutes. It’s so blooming frustrating :-(

On first reading, I wondered what the paramedic was doing on your bathroom floor!

 

[Amethyst59]

Sunday was peaceful @canary, but the sun has taken off again & so yesterday was hard. Mum is complaining about her arm hurting, but she won’t do the exercises & she needs to move it to get the swelling down. I’ve given in & booked her in with P the paramedic for a check up later today. At least I can then carry on nagging her to try & straighten her fingers :-(

Although I’m very tired, I’m also full of restless energy, so I scrubbed the bathroom yesterday. It smelt lovely & clean. I had a coffee, went back upstairs & found P on the loo & on the floor. Not so sweet smelling. It was like 30 minutes. It’s so blooming frustrating :-(

I know that feeling. I laid all clean clothes out for Martin to wear this morning. His jumper was marked by the time I picked him up at nine...and I’ve just sponged the trousers after he dropped some lunch!

 

[Margi29]

On first reading, I wondered what the paramedic was doing on your bathroom floor!

I thought that too, @Slugsta

 

[Margi29]

Sunday was peaceful @canary, but the sun has taken off again & so yesterday was hard. Mum is complaining about her arm hurting, but she won’t do the exercises & she needs to move it to get the swelling down. I’ve given in & booked her in with P the paramedic for a check up later today. At least I can then carry on nagging her to try & straighten her fingers :-(

Although I’m very tired, I’m also full of restless energy, so I scrubbed the bathroom yesterday. It smelt lovely & clean. I had a coffee, went back upstairs & found P on the loo & on the floor. Not so sweet smelling. It was like 30 minutes. It’s so blooming frustrating :-(

Yes, annoying and frustrating for you. Bit like when children are small, you clean up and as quick has it's done they wreck the house again

 

[Margi29]

Afternoon @Slugsta

Eldest came over yesterday & the 3 of us chilled in the sunshine. Mum slept, I typed up some notes & eldest played on his phone. Even J joined us for an hour of rocking on the swing

Glad eldest and J came to yours, just a different conversation can lift us x

Apparently brother used brain

 

[Margi29]

Brother must be actually using his brain, one used ironing board, wrapped round door did the trick.
Apparently mum behaved

 

[Sam Luvit]

On first reading, I wondered what the paramedic was doing on your bathroom floor!

Lol. If P the paramedic was on the floor, he could have cleaned himself up

 

[Sam Luvit]

Hi @Amethyst59

Hope you’re ok, or as ok as we can ever be Oh, the saga of clean clothes. Mums favourite this week is to wipe (smear) at dropped food, then put the tissue on her lap and smooth it If I don’t catch her in the act, there is a long smear of food down her top & another ground into her trousers.

 

[Sam Luvit]

I’m not houseproud @Margi29 But, I do blitz when it gets on top of me. However, I’ve tried keeping on top of it, as Mum was one of those who cleaned all day long. It’s so frustrating to scrub a room to an inch of its life & then walk in 10-20 minutes later & need to do it again

Sun is struggling against the wind today, maybe I can get her out of the house & get mopping again. She comments on the “dirty floors” but also moans like crazy if the floor is damp. Can’t blooming win with her

 

[Sam Luvit]

....., just a different conversation can lift us x

Yes, a different conversation & someone else to do the “yes” & “oh really”, so I can zone out

So glad brother used the ironing board, about time he listened to you

 

[canary]

Have you tried a steam mop, Sam?
I have found mine a godsend - I dont have to get down on my knees and scrub, it comes up beautifully and the floor is only slightly damp afterwards

 

[Sam Luvit]

Mum has one of those,@canary but threw it out I’m ok with a bucket & mop, it’s pretty quick, it’s just the frustration of mopping & then Mum immediately either spills something or decides she “must” go in the bathroom, kitchen “right now” despite me checking first.

I think it’s just getting to me this week.

 

[Slugsta]

Sam, you are human, things will get to you sometimes (((hugs)))

 

[Sam Luvit]

I feel really guilty, Mum has no idea, but I feel bad that I spent an hour saying how horrid she can be Naturally she’s been very sweet all afternoon, making me feel even more of a cad

I get up to 12 sessions, so I expect I’ll be exploring a few more difficult feelings along the way, just hope I can handle going straight home to Mum, although if I have a bad session, I’m planning on sitting on the seafront while I get my happy face on

 

[Sam Luvit]

Honestly, these cold callers are just never ending, but at least I make Mum laugh with my replies ...

PPI, oh you mean P Poor Information
(Silence). Please be aware all calls to this number are charged at £50 plus VAT
Carlesburgh complaints department

I can’t understandshy they keep hanging up on me

 

[Margi29]

I feel really guilty, Mum has no idea, but I feel bad that I spent an hour saying how horrid she can be Naturally she’s been very sweet all afternoon, making me feel even more of a cad

I get up to 12 sessions, so I expect I’ll be exploring a few more difficult feelings along the way, just hope I can handle going straight home to Mum, although if I have a bad session, I’m planning on sitting on the seafront while I get my happy face on

If it's helping you, it's necessary. Your a good daughter who is there for her mum every day. Shake that guilt monster right away x

 

[Sam Luvit]

Hi @Margi29

It is helping. Although I felt like I was explaining a lot of my childhood to someone who hadn’t a clue. My parents were very strict. Mum certainly didn’t want children & dad was an only child with no real idea of what children were.

People have this rose tinted view of growing up abroad, but while the beaches are great, sailing is fun etc, the children (myself included) don’t see a lot of their parents, it’s a fractured relationship with boarding school, bullying & having to grow up young. To all intents I left home at 8, I saw my parents 3 times a year, till I was 16, then twice a year till I was 19. I guess I loved the idea of them, but didn’t know them.

Yes I’m here every day. Sometimes I resent it. Sometimes I just care for her like she’s a stranger, other times, she’s very sweet & I have a glimpse of the Mum I was starting to love when Alzheimers knocked on the door.

Yesterday I felt so guilty about the counselling & describing Mum. Today it felt justified. Tonight I just know I need a pressure release.

I took big brother fishing. I came home to a disaster. I’d washed & hung all the towels. She’d moved every one. She also did the little washing of hers from today, meaning there was no room for me to do mine. I really needed to do mine today :-(

Mum now has COPD, so she’d hung all her wet washing in her bedroom ??? I had to move everything. I was not happy.

She’s also been rooting around in the shed, looking for “something”. I told her she must know it’s not a good idea if she waits till I’m out to do it

Mum then told me “you can’t keep me a prisoner just because you don’t want me to fall”

I give up. Seriously. I just walked away & set to on the paperwork.

Ive left her to her own devises. She’s returned for dinner as sweet little old lady.

To quote you, .... give me strength