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Brother Is Worried About Me Sending The Will To The Probate Office

love.dad.but..

Registered User
Jan 16, 2014
4,835
0
Kent
Thankyou you two. Yes I won't respond and I remember when I put all the papers in the envelope I put them in individually with the Will being first, then the death certificate and the cover letter on top. The tears on the Will and cover letter could have happened during transit or when the envelope was opened either way it was an accident.

MaNaAk

PS: I have enjoyed doing the clearing as it is very therapeutic and I am still in contact with my friends. Also @Lovedadbut the memory of dad with resident B's walking stick still brings a laugh.
The better funny memories of my dad, like yours, always brings a smile to my face....walking stick stand offs and one of my favourites dad in the back of the ambulance with pink diamonte glasses on, the rest of us trying to stifle a giggle! I give you permission to cheer yourself in down moments to think also of that vision!
 

Sarasa

Volunteer Host
Apr 13, 2018
3,216
0
Sometimes I wonder if your brothers are trying to gaslight you @MaNaAk , so you think that everything is your fault and therefore when the house is sold you give your brothers the lions share of the profits to compensate them for the 'trouble' you've caused them. I hope I'm wrong, but I'd have as little to do with them as possible, as I think things aren't going to change. Hope your therapist can help you through it all {{{hugs}}}
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
4,646
0
Essex
The better funny memories of my dad, like yours, always brings a smile to my face....walking stick stand offs and one of my favourites dad in the back of the ambulance with pink diamonte glasses on, the rest of us trying to stifle a giggle! I give you permission to cheer yourself in down moments to think also of that vision!

I remember you telling us that he once wore a blouse!

MaNaAk
 
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canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
15,337
0
South coast
Yes, Im another one saying dont respond to the email - it will only add fuel to the fire and you neither need, not deserve that.

Your brothers have a highly optimistic view of when they can get their money and I agree that they probably think that it is you delaying things, whereas, in reality, their own interference is slowing things down.

Well done with clearing and definitely try and think of the better times
xxx
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
4,646
0
Essex
Sometimes I wonder if your brothers are trying to gaslight you @MaNaAk , so you think that everything is your fault and therefore when the house is sold you give your brothers the lions share of the profits to compensate them for the 'trouble' you've caused them. I hope I'm wrong, but I'd have as little to do with them as possible, as I think things aren't going to change. Hope your therapist can help you through it all {{{hugs}}}

The therapist is very good and I've got receipts showing my contributions to the house going back years.

MaNaAk

PS: I've also got the strength from somewhere.
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
4,646
0
Essex
Yes, Im another one saying dont respond to the email - it will only add fuel to the fire and you neither need, not deserve that.

Your brothers have a highly optimistic view of when they can get their money and I agree that they probably think that it is you delaying things, whereas, in reality, their own interference is slowing things down.

Well done with clearing and definitely try and think of the better times
xxx

Yes I was willing to use a solicitor but they wanted to do it online!

MaNaAk

PS: I haven't got anything against doing probate online but they or rather my sister-in-law did it in their own time.
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
4,646
0
Essex
Yes, Im another one saying dont respond to the email - it will only add fuel to the fire and you neither need, not deserve that.

Your brothers have a highly optimistic view of when they can get their money and I agree that they probably think that it is you delaying things, whereas, in reality, their own interference is slowing things down.

Well done with clearing and definitely try and think of the better times
xxx

Yes three diabetics at the same table all deaf and two with dementia and dad being moved to another table because of the noise.

MaNaAk
 
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Bunpoots

Volunteer Host
Apr 1, 2016
5,566
0
Nottinghamshire
You can’t change your brothers @MaNaAk but you can change the way you respond to them. I think they’re being very selfish so try to ignore them and take your time to sort yourself out.
 

nita

Registered User
Dec 30, 2011
2,149
0
Essex
Hello Everyone.

I've found an email from my sister-in-law containing photos of the cover letter with a tear in the lower left hand corner and the death certificate with an old tear that was (I have a vague memory of taping this tear but it would have been a long time ago). I don't know how to respond to this but I feel rather useless. Does anyone know how or if I should respond?

Interestingly my latest questionnaire from the therapist arrived.

MaNaAk
I just wondered where she got this photo from? Did the Probate Office send it to your brother? I thought they were dealing with you but perhaps that was before they had your new email address. Anyway, as others say, don't give it another thought. The tear didn't obscure anything important did it.
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
4,646
0
Essex
Dear @nita,

They sent it to my brother who was dealing with the Probate but as I posted the Will they tried to send emails to me but I had changed my email address. Yes it's best not to respond although it looks the tears could have happened when the documents were removed from the envelope.

MaNaAk