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Brother Is Worried About Me Sending The Will To The Probate Office

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
3,633
0
Essex
Thankyou everyone.

The emails that I found when I got home were my eldest brother saying that I did not include dad's name or reference number to which I said I was going to include this in the final draft . My eldest brother said that I should send the email which he had drafted earlier and I believe that there was an email sent to my youngest brother but not to me. My youngest brother is still going to come round wearing a visor and gloves. In my reply to these emails I asked why if the Probate Office had informed the eldest of my two brothers that they had tried to contact me why couldn't he have forwarded my email address or the emails.

MaNaAk
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
2,288
0
Southampton
Thankyou everyone.

The emails that I found when I got home were my eldest brother saying that I did not include dad's name or reference number to which I said I was going to include this in the final draft . My eldest brother said that I should send the email which he had drafted earlier and I believe that there was an email sent to my youngest brother but not to me. My youngest brother is still going to come round wearing a visor and gloves. In my reply to these emails I asked why if the Probate Office had informed the eldest of my two brothers that they had tried to contact me why couldn't he have forwarded my email address or the emails.

MaNaAk
why cant they make easier, if they want probate and then sell the house so much it helps to simplify it not make it harder on the one person that should be given a break.
 

DianeW

Registered User
Sep 10, 2013
820
0
Lytham St Annes
I’ve said this before and I still believe that both your brothers think you are being deliberately obstructive about everything, to give yourself more time in the house.

I do honestly think this is the case and they don’t trust you are doing everything correctly, the sooner it’s over the better for you.

You can’t win here no matter what you do, so just try to get everything you can that you need to do, so that your as set as you can be.

And most of all remember this.....none of this is your doing, you did the absolute right thing for your parents lovingly.....your brothers on the other hand are delusional so please ignore their silly accusations, not easy I know x
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
3,633
0
Essex
Hello Everyone.

It's been sent and we are aiming to get the house on the market in February although my youngest brother thinks I'll be able to move out in March.

MaNaAk
 

lemonbalm

Registered User
May 21, 2018
1,219
0
Hurrah! Glad that's done. I think your youngest gannet sibling may be being a little ambitious. You set your own time-table @MaNaAk and move when you're ready. Forget it for this evening and have a nice one.
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
3,633
0
Essex
Thankyou @jennifer1967.

Yes. Well I have a lot to do of course but I need to relax a bit they will never understand the emotional upheaval and they think I am avoiding them but the truth is I find them unsympathetic and unconcerned about the fact I am seeing a therapist. As people have said before they will never see my situation and they say I don't see theirs. I have actually done some clearing and also it seems that my youngest brother can come into the house as he was in the original support bubble. However I don't want to communicate unless it is to do with the house because I find it very stressful. They say I am the cause of the stress but I can plan something that causes as little stress as possible.

MaNaAk
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
3,633
0
Essex
Hurrah! Glad that's done. I think your youngest gannet sibling may be being a little ambitious. You set your own time-table @MaNaAk and move when you're ready. Forget it for this evening and have a nice one.

I think so too but he, like my other brother, thinks he can do no wrong. He is going to let our other brother know about February but I will do what I can at the moment. He was saying that he should have posted the Will and that I should have let him post it if I wasn't up to the job and because of a tear in the death certificate they almost wondered if I tore the Will!

Also the email that I was supposed to have received from the elder was not on my computer but it was my brothers computer so maybe they made a mistake.

MaNaAk
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
3,633
0
Essex
Hurrah! Glad that's done. I think your youngest gannet sibling may be being a little ambitious. You set your own time-table @MaNaAk and move when you're ready. Forget it for this evening and have a nice one.

I think so too but he, like my other brother, thinks he can do no wrong. He is going to let our other brother know about February but I will do what I can at the moment. He was saying that he should have posted the Will and that I should have let him post it if I wasn't up to the job and because of a tear in the death certificate they almost wondered if I tore the Will!

Also the email that I was supposed to have received from the elder was not on my computer but it was my brothers computer so maybe they made a mistake.

MaNaAk
 

lemonbalm

Registered User
May 21, 2018
1,219
0
Hmm, not much of a support bubble is he?! Never mind, you have us. Have a virtual hug. I suggest you have a nice bath, preferably with a good book and a glass of wine.
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
3,633
0
Essex
Just want to thank everyone for their advice today and wonderful support. I was upset earlier but now it's the declaration's out of the way I feel better. I don't have a problem with probate just the invisibles.

MaNaAk
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
3,633
0
Essex
Good morning everyone.

I got some sleep last night but not much but I wrote in my 'worry diary' and I can present it to the therapist on Tuesday.

MaNaAk
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
3,633
0
Essex
Hello Everyone.

I've found an email from my sister-in-law containing photos of the cover letter with a tear in the lower left hand corner and the death certificate with an old tear that was (I have a vague memory of taping this tear but it would have been a long time ago). I don't know how to respond to this but I feel rather useless. Does anyone know how or if I should respond?

Interestingly my latest questionnaire from the therapist arrived.

MaNaAk
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
2,288
0
Southampton
Hello Everyone.

I've found an email from my sister-in-law containing photos of the cover letter with a tear in the lower left hand corner and the death certificate with an old tear that was (I have a vague memory of taping this tear but it would have been a long time ago). I don't know how to respond to this but I feel rather useless. Does anyone know how or if I should respond?

Interestingly my latest questionnaire from the therapist arrived.

MaNaAk
MaNaAk you are NOT useless. you sorted out about probate office yesterday. can you leave it to the probate office to contact you if theres a problem. i wouldnt respond. as you would open yourself up for all sorts of criticism you dont deserve. you cant do anything today but maybe contact probate office tomorrow and hear if something is wrong from their mouth. you had a tough day yesterday that you really didnt deserve. be kind to yourself as you are to us on the forum.
 

love.dad.but..

Registered User
Jan 16, 2014
4,748
0
Kent
If it were me I would just leave things as they are you are just giving your brothers further reason to have a go at you, post/email what the probate office has asked for and then let things settle whilst you concentrate on other things. Although a house sale can be started awaiting probate providing the buyer and their solicitor is aware your brother's timeline is woefully optimistic even if a buyer is found straight away.
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
2,288
0
Southampton
isnt it right that solicitors are stacked up with work during the first lock down so its taking longer for house sales to be completed and even if you get an early offer, surveys have to be done to see if there are any problems and if they need a mortgage, that takes time too. my mum and dad sold and brought houses like you would go on holiday, they would move.
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
3,633
0
Essex
Thankyou you two. Yes I won't respond and I remember when I put all the papers in the envelope I put them in individually with the Will being first, then the death certificate and the cover letter on top. The tears on the Will and cover letter could have happened during transit or when the envelope was opened either way it was an accident.

MaNaAk

PS: I have enjoyed doing the clearing as it is very therapeutic and I am still in contact with my friends. Also @Lovedadbut the memory of dad with resident B's walking stick still brings a laugh.
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
3,633
0
Essex
Also the solicitor saw the death certificate before it was posted and they didn't mind any sellotape there. The Probate office was only concerned about the Will also when we sold my grandmother's house it took a long to get the contracts signed eventhough the house was bought by another estate agent!

MaNaAk
 

Just me

Registered User
Nov 17, 2013
494
0
Hello Everyone.

I've found an email from my sister-in-law containing photos of the cover letter with a tear in the lower left hand corner and the death certificate with an old tear that was (I have a vague memory of taping this tear but it would have been a long time ago). I don't know how to respond to this but I feel rather useless. Does anyone know how or if I should respond?

Interestingly my latest questionnaire from the therapist arrived.

MaNaAk

Oh @MaNaAk why are they so obsessed. It’s torn why can’t they move on.
Probate will let them know if there is a problem because of the tear and there’s nothing anyone can do.
I certainly wouldn’t bother to reply. Try and forget them and carry on with your clearing x
 

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