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Brother Is Worried About Me Sending The Will To The Probate Office

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
2,288
0
Southampton
Also I am not meant to have my own mind and I was told that my brother and his wife spent a lot of time doing the inheritance tax and probate. Apart from benefits, POAs and other admin I haven't done a thing!

MaNaAk
really!! you were just sat there awaiting their instructions, sir
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
3,633
0
Essex
Hello again.

I have an email from the eldest of my two brothers saying that he would like the declaration to be sent off today and asking my other brother to come round and send it off. He also asked if I remember putting sellotape around a tear in the death certificate but I don't remember this so I didn't answer. My other brother has said that he will come round this evening to send it and I am typing an email saying that I look forward to seeing him but I will be wearing a mask because we're not supposed to be meeting indoors. I am typing my declaration in this email and I find this very stressful.

Thankyou for reading this again.

MaNaAk
 

nitram

Registered User
Apr 6, 2011
21,704
0
North Manchester
Tears in death certificate don't matter, the concern with a corner torn of the will is that an attachment has been removed.

Today, tomorrow, or even Monday is not going to make much difference, the probate office will not regard it as urgent.

Having said that if you can manage to get your explanation typed up, put in an envelope, and posted, you can email both of them saying 'job done, no need to come'.

This will give you more 'biscuit time' and avoid having to see them.
 

Just me

Registered User
Nov 17, 2013
494
0
Oh goodness why are they causing you so much unnecessary stress. I agree with @nitram, another couple of days makes no difference and if you can, get the required information typed and put in an envelope ready for the ‘visit’.

It may be sensible not to seal the envelope so your brother can check it in front of you so he doesn’t start asking questions once it’s been sent.

I'd be inclined not to let him into the house, you could say you don’t want to be fined for not following government guidelines. Easier said than done, I know.

Get those treats line up @MaNaAk
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
3,633
0
Essex
Thankyou @ Nitram.

I am afraid that I am in tears I write this as you are all so wonderful. I was in tears as I watched TV this morning about the war veterans . I have sent the email to my brothers to see what they think of the declaration and I will see if they respond but otherwise I might do as you say and send it straight off especially if I don't have a humane answer.

MaNaAk
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
3,633
0
Essex
Thankyou @justme. I also think that neither of them are thinking of their partners as they are willing to risk them being ill. Several people have said to me that it could be that they don't like to think that big sister is in control.

MaNaAk
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
3,633
0
Essex
Also why couldn't emails have been passed on to me and I obviously should have said that the declaration should have come from my computer and then we wouldn't be in this mess. Part of me is angry at the fact that my eldest brother talks about all the work they did on the inheritance tax and probate and all the admin and caring that I did hasn't had a look in. I am trying to be diplomatic but it is very difficult.

MaNaAk
 

Just me

Registered User
Nov 17, 2013
494
0
Have you given them a time to reply to the email @MaNaAk? You don’t want this hanging over you all day. Give them a time to reply then go AWOL and send the pesky letter to Probate when you’re up to it.
Hope you’ve got something happy planned for the rest of the day x
 

nitram

Registered User
Apr 6, 2011
21,704
0
North Manchester
Several people have said to me that it could be that they don't like to think that big sister is in control.

Any control you have was by their default, one of them could have finished the job they started by collecting the will from the solicitor and sending it to the probate office.

 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
3,633
0
Essex
Have you given them a time to reply to the email @MaNaAk? You don’t want this hanging over you all day. Give them a time to reply then go AWOL and send the pesky letter to Probate when you’re up to it.
Hope you’ve got something happy planned for the rest of the day x

Yes I'll do that thankyou very much.

MaNaAk
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
3,633
0
Essex
Any control you have was by their default, one of them could have finished the job they started by collecting the will from the solicitor and sending it to the probate office.


Actually @nitram my youngest brother did offer but of course I wanted to do it but with hindsight I should have let him send it!

MaNaAk
 

lemonbalm

Registered User
May 21, 2018
1,219
0
Sorry, a bit late into the conversation. Good grief. What a palaver your gannet siblings are making of this. Tell them to respond quickly because it's going in the post this afternoon (can't it go by e-mail?) , then go off and do something nice - a walk with fish and chips. I would tell your brother that he can't come over this evening. Visiting in houses in not allowed (so there).
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
2,288
0
Southampton
you can go for a walk with another person from different household. one way to meet and you can sit on the benches in the park longs socially distanced
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
3,633
0
Essex
I've just sent off that email giving them a timeline. Now I'm going out for a bit of fresh air.

MaNaAk
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
3,633
0
Essex
I am having a cornish pasty and apple turnover at my favourite spot overlooking the Thames Estuary.

MaNaAk
 

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