I have just lost my temper and shouted and sworn at mu husband AGAIN. I feel terrible. I am always the bad person. He does nothing but stare at me 24 hours a day. I get 3 hours respite care once a week. I just got in the shower and the phone rang and the gate bell rang. He was standing at the gate. Back after an hour because he needed the toilet. I felt so CHEATED of my time. My only time.
Bad person
- Thread starter EbbaJane
- Start date
A warm welcome to Dementia Support Forum @EbbaJane.
First of all you are not a bad person, you are someone who has reached the end of their tether in a very difficult situation.
If your husband is self-funding, having assets of over £23,500 you could try and get some more help in. If not contact your local social services and ask for a re-assessment of your husband's needs. For instance it might well be time for a couple of weeks respite care to give you time to re-group.
This is a very friendly and supportive forum. I'm sure others that have been in a similar situation will be along shortly with their ideas and suggestions.
In the meantime it might be an idea to call the support line to see what they suggest, you certainly can't go on like this.
www.alzheimers.org.uk
First of all you are not a bad person, you are someone who has reached the end of their tether in a very difficult situation.
If your husband is self-funding, having assets of over £23,500 you could try and get some more help in. If not contact your local social services and ask for a re-assessment of your husband's needs. For instance it might well be time for a couple of weeks respite care to give you time to re-group.
This is a very friendly and supportive forum. I'm sure others that have been in a similar situation will be along shortly with their ideas and suggestions.
In the meantime it might be an idea to call the support line to see what they suggest, you certainly can't go on like this.
Dementia Support Line
If you need dementia support, we’re here for you. Get personalised information, support and advice by calling us on 0333 150 3456.
www.alzheimers.org.uk
I don’t think anyone who has not been there understands the 24/7 grind of being with someone who is never going to be a help, or even good company, just a dark hindrance. We wouldn’t be human if we didn’t kick off sometimes. They soon forget but we beat ourselves up with guilt time and time again. I think we need to take it as a sign that we need more help, and fast!
Sending love ❤️
Sending love ❤️
Balance that short episode with all the times you are caring for him without any thanks, you are certainly not a bad person. Somehow not being able to shower and take our time over it seems one of the things which test our patience to the limit. Certainly try the support line as Sarasa suggests.
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