A warm welcome to Dementia Support Forum
@EbbaJane.
First of all you are not a bad person, you are someone who has reached the end of their tether in a very difficult situation.
If your husband is self-funding, having assets of over £23,500 you could try and get some more help in. If not contact your local social services and ask for a re-assessment of your husband's needs. For instance it might well be time for a couple of weeks respite care to give you time to re-group.
This is a very friendly and supportive forum. I'm sure others that have been in a similar situation will be along shortly with their ideas and suggestions.
In the meantime it might be an idea to call the support line to see what they suggest, you certainly can't go on like this.
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