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And so it goes on...

DesperateofDevon

Registered User
Jul 7, 2019
2,675
It’s end game now after the doctor saw him. He does have a chest infection with inhaled liquids in his lungs, so it’s antibiotics, keep him comfortable, let him eat and drink what he will and eventually he will slip away quietly as his vital functions gradually shut down. I can’t help feeling that pneumonia would be a release for him because he now has to carry on living this non-life and I have to watch him and it could go on for weeks. The doctor said it should be peaceful, that he should go to respite again in two weeks time, for me not for him. There I have been able to write it down.
Oh my lovely, I’m so sorry (((((((hugs)))))))) seem inadequate at this moment in time. sending you love & strength for the oncoming days xxxxxxx
 

White Rose

Registered User
Nov 4, 2018
620
It’s end game now after the doctor saw him. He does have a chest infection with inhaled liquids in his lungs, so it’s antibiotics, keep him comfortable, let him eat and drink what he will and eventually he will slip away quietly as his vital functions gradually shut down. I can’t help feeling that pneumonia would be a release for him because he now has to carry on living this non-life and I have to watch him and it could go on for weeks. The doctor said it should be peaceful, that he should go to respite again in two weeks time, for me not for him. There I have been able to write it down.
Thinking of you @Grahamstown, a very difficult time xx
 

Grahamstown

Registered User
Jan 12, 2018
1,680
80
East of England
Thank you everyone for your kindness. His life is slowly drawing to a close but that can take time even though he has not eaten anything for several days now. He does take a small amount of water and has pain relief for his chest so we still have some road to travel. Amazingly he still has some strength to get to the toilet which baffles us but the human body never fails to amaze and we just have to keep taking care of him. The Selfish Pig book is still helping me through the last stage plus negotiating the maze of NHS officialdom which has become a box ticking exercise and requires savvy to make your way through. I keep telling myself I am the expert in his condition and try to be firm and so far I have managed to get the authorities to be on side. It’s shocking to me that still there is a slight attitude that he can be brought round to eating and drinking and mobilising, even as he lies skeletal and inhaling small amounts of anything he drinks.
 

kindred

Registered User
Apr 8, 2018
2,426
Thank you everyone for your kindness. His life is slowly drawing to a close but that can take time even though he has not eaten anything for several days now. He does take a small amount of water and has pain relief for his chest so we still have some road to travel. Amazingly he still has some strength to get to the toilet which baffles us but the human body never fails to amaze and we just have to keep taking care of him. The Selfish Pig book is still helping me through the last stage plus negotiating the maze of NHS officialdom which has become a box ticking exercise and requires savvy to make your way through. I keep telling myself I am the expert in his condition and try to be firm and so far I have managed to get the authorities to be on side. It’s shocking to me that still there is a slight attitude that he can be brought round to eating and drinking and mobilising, even as he lies skeletal and inhaling small amounts of anything he drinks.
With you so much in thoughts, Grahamstown. You are the expert in his condition and in the man himself of course. I think sometimes the reality is too painful to accept, hence the belief that he can be brought round to eating and drinking. You are doing the real love and care, keeping him comfortable and beloved in your presence. with love, Kindred
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
12,574
South coast
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))))) @Grahamstown
This is a difficult time. The strength of some people with dementia is amazing. I too wondered how mum could possibly keep going as she did.
 

Duggies-girl

Registered User
Sep 6, 2017
1,880
Yes he sounds like dad @Grahamstown Dad didn't eat for 17 days or so but was still insistent that he could get to the toilet. He had to use the commode at the end and I will never know where he got the strength but he did. I hope that it is peaceful at the end for your husband as it was for dad.

I really wish that dad had gone into the hospice as they would of been better equipped to deal with things than we were and I hope that you are getting good help and support with him if he is still at home.

I think that @kindred has summed it up so well with her words 'You are doing the real love and care, keeping him comfortable and beloved in your presence' So very true.

Wishing you lots of strength and hugs.
 

Grahamstown

Registered User
Jan 12, 2018
1,680
80
East of England
The comfort of the wonderful people on the forum is a great consolation as my dear husband sinks. He has had to have some morphine to settle his agitation and mild hallucinations tonight, he can no longer take it by mouth. The district nurses were wonderful and said that I could have nursing support for him at home rather than move him to a nursing home. I shall await events tonight as my daughter sleeps with her dad. Thank you all x