My 0H was diagnosed with mixed dementia, vascular and Alzheimer’s in March this year. We have only been together five years and I am not married to him.
He is very forgetful, repetitive and has bouts of confusion. But I feel he still functions pretty well and he can hold a great conversation with other people and he still has good personal hygiene.
In fact, he’s better than he was earlier in the year. I think this was because he had flu after Christmas and then shingles and it really knocked him sidewards. He used to sleep much more than he does now.
My problem is I feel he is fine to be left on his own for various lengths of time, especially in the evening ( I have book club etc) when he just watches TV and then will go to bed. The occupational health visitor says that the only time he needs supervision is if he’s learning something new and for meals and meds. The biggest problem as I have mentioned before on this site is that he thinks he can still drive so I have to hide the car keys.
The problem is that his daughter believes I have been negligent as I have had a few nights away. She has covered for me whilst I’ve been away ( during the day) but she felt I should’ve cancelled these events which included a wedding and a bday gift concert. My 0H was invited to some of these events but he chose not to go. I put detailed plans to her and exact times of when I wouldn’t be here but she reported me to social services because she was worried for his safety and well-being. We are having a family conference on Wednesday and I am led to believe that she has been planning to create a fire storm and she is gunning for me. I think she wants to have professional care in and me to leave..
I have always kept my own friends through my marriage to my late husband and my present 0H is very happy for me to carry on seeing my friends when I want. He is very capable of keeping to his routine and I think his daughter has gone over the top. She believes I shouldn’t leave him on his own for more than an hour. I’ve had to take him with me for some things he didn’t want to do which is annoying for him.
I have told him that I don’t know how much I can take with his hatred from her but he says he just wants us to be together and I should ignore her. But how can I?
Am I being negligent? He has never fallen although he does have a few minor dizzy spells, he has never wandered and he has never been aggressive to anyone yet. I thought I could do these things whilst he was still capable because I know that later on I will have to completely change my lifestyle. I have already given up several things and I am a lot younger than him, he is nearly 80. I think the world of him and I am very happy to carry on looking after him knowing that it will become progressively worse. I am beginning to wonder that his daughter, who doesn’t work and doesn’t need to, resents being put out. They’re talking professional help, not themselves helping.
I will never forgive her for reporting me when I’m trying my best at a sad and difficult time.
He is very forgetful, repetitive and has bouts of confusion. But I feel he still functions pretty well and he can hold a great conversation with other people and he still has good personal hygiene.
In fact, he’s better than he was earlier in the year. I think this was because he had flu after Christmas and then shingles and it really knocked him sidewards. He used to sleep much more than he does now.
My problem is I feel he is fine to be left on his own for various lengths of time, especially in the evening ( I have book club etc) when he just watches TV and then will go to bed. The occupational health visitor says that the only time he needs supervision is if he’s learning something new and for meals and meds. The biggest problem as I have mentioned before on this site is that he thinks he can still drive so I have to hide the car keys.
The problem is that his daughter believes I have been negligent as I have had a few nights away. She has covered for me whilst I’ve been away ( during the day) but she felt I should’ve cancelled these events which included a wedding and a bday gift concert. My 0H was invited to some of these events but he chose not to go. I put detailed plans to her and exact times of when I wouldn’t be here but she reported me to social services because she was worried for his safety and well-being. We are having a family conference on Wednesday and I am led to believe that she has been planning to create a fire storm and she is gunning for me. I think she wants to have professional care in and me to leave..
I have always kept my own friends through my marriage to my late husband and my present 0H is very happy for me to carry on seeing my friends when I want. He is very capable of keeping to his routine and I think his daughter has gone over the top. She believes I shouldn’t leave him on his own for more than an hour. I’ve had to take him with me for some things he didn’t want to do which is annoying for him.
I have told him that I don’t know how much I can take with his hatred from her but he says he just wants us to be together and I should ignore her. But how can I?
Am I being negligent? He has never fallen although he does have a few minor dizzy spells, he has never wandered and he has never been aggressive to anyone yet. I thought I could do these things whilst he was still capable because I know that later on I will have to completely change my lifestyle. I have already given up several things and I am a lot younger than him, he is nearly 80. I think the world of him and I am very happy to carry on looking after him knowing that it will become progressively worse. I am beginning to wonder that his daughter, who doesn’t work and doesn’t need to, resents being put out. They’re talking professional help, not themselves helping.
I will never forgive her for reporting me when I’m trying my best at a sad and difficult time.