Monday 1 July 7am
Well rested but feeling and looking rather bruised and battered and feeling achey about the head and neck and shoulders and with bruised wrists.
I think I have to put this mostly down to the Bedroom Battle of the Chest of Drawers that I lost on Thursday.
My shoulders ache but I can't see bruising.
My wrists are sore, red, bruised and swollen and there's an ache on my side, that appears to be down to the arresting officers at the hospital, who were in fact ARMED!
They happened to be closest to the hospital, and I understand they are going to be more forceful.
I was carrying several bags to cover my husband's needs in A and E for the day, as no food, meds or anything is supplied there.
Handcuffs applied so your hands are in opposite directions. They apparently tighten if you struggle but mine did NOT stop hurting when I relaxed as told. My walking stick taken away. I had to beg to lean over a high rail. Had rucksack on, armed officer pushing it into my back all the time. Didn't want me to move at all, pretty difficult when you are basically being contorted.
Officers who took me into custody were very kind and relaxed.
I think ambulance crew and arresting officers were influenced by my appearance, massive ugly bruising round the eyes due to losing the Battle of the Chest of Drawers. I look horrendous and quite scary.
My only putative weapon, a credit card size multitool in my purse was pointed out to the custody officers, so I couldnt be accused of carrying concealed. Should I be reporting my hurts to the doctor?
Am I too complacent about my hurts because Ive been conditioned by my husbands dementia behaviours?
Not that he has physically abused me yet. I have no control over my own life and actions as everyone tells me I'm his carer and should get back to caring for him and getting him back home as soon as I was released. I did point out I'm his wife, OH no longer observing marriage vows to love honour and cherish in sickness and in health, and that carer is not a legal status or legal obligation.
When in my cell, I asked for mental health support, sleepless and sick with worry about my husbands care and confusion in hospital of he was still there. Noone deals with all 3 conditions correctly. That's provable history.
Social worker came unannounced and uninvited to my cell at 9am when I was dozing at last. She interrogated me about my needs and plans as a carer going forward, got very agitated that all my replies revolved around putting my husbands conditions first. This was about my needs not his. I had to point out I had no life of my own and that I wanted to keep some things private. And I had a headache. She just kept pushing with one more question, about 10 of them.... Irked me first off with initial ethnicity question, insisted as putting me down as White British, as I was born here. She condescendingly explained her family was Welsh but still White British. I gave up expecting any accuracy right then. (I am White Mixed European, one British born parent, one British born grandparent. Three quarters definitely not British or English, and entitled to a second, possibly third, foreign passport!)
The we got the inevitable Do you have any children question? She wasn't happy I was irritated and told her I wouldn't be a sole carer if so, and added it would be a miracle to pop them out on demand at 65, and be 85 before such children could help.
She also told me my exasperated sigh and smile was not appropriate when it came to the question Do you have any thoughts or plans to harm yourself or commit suicide. As if anyone would bare their innermost hopelessness to an intrusive stranger. The only possible answer is No.
She was very prickly, perhaps as I was not falling at her feet sobbing for help! Not holding my breath for support
***
Bathed, relaxed, headache currently gone. Expect I'll be getting lots of phone calls. Don't intend to answer any unless Support Workers, District Nurses or Hospital Discharge Team. Will not be fetching OH. Hospital not safe, not going there.
***
I've done my bit. My one allowed call in custody was to Social Services to make sure they knew I was unavailable and husband at risk. Support workers HQ rang me later. Neither of us knew why!
Custody sergeant kindly rang hospital, found husband there.
I rang Support Workers HQ, when I got out, to let them know husbands whereabouts.
Rang hospital ward yesterday to find husband, ready to discharge, don't discharge at weekends. Took half an hour, they did not take my contact details. OH won't know my phone number.
Also rang hospital Discharge team left messages and my phone number on Sunday to say husband should be discharged home.
Rang district community nurses today to update them.
Parkinsons nurse emailed me, following up a meds prescription, noting he was in hospital, would keep eye out for discharge docs.
OH has no money phone or etceteras with him, he'd only lose them. Probably will lose his shoes and clothes. Hospital specialises at this!
Doing sweet sweet nothing 11.30am. No Incoming calls yet
***