Agreed to see the doctor again.

[RM3]

So glad it went ok been thinking of you Yes it’s hard when your OH has been your rock Id been doing quite well but breaking my hand has really been hard not because of the pain but not being able to drive is so tough I will bounce back as my husband needs me & I still need him Life is just so different but he still hugs me & tells me how much he loves me I know my friend who lost her husband to cancer would do anything to be in my position He’s still here with me Maybe forgetful & muddled but he’s here with me and I need to be grateful for that sending a virtual hug so pleased it worked out ok today take care x

Thank you Bev for your ongoing support (and everyone). I’m glad to be off work now until Monday 😅.
I suppose we never know what life will throw at us from one day to the next do we.
As you so rightly said, whilst we of course feel the impacts of our own set backs, losses and things sent to try us, there is sadly often people around us who are less fortunate for different reasons.
One day at a time and deal with what is in front of us I suppose.
So much support on here, day or night, it is a godsend.
Take care, hugs back to you and I have no doubt from our chats on here, that you will bounce back.
Thank you, Rachel ☺️ xxx

 

[RM3]

It wasnt so much the memory issues with my husband that I noticed first - it was things like = go out - buy bread, get cash from the machine, pick up my Mum. He couldnt do it, he would go out and do one then come home and go out and do another. Another thing was he couldnt follow cooking instructions on a packet of food.

Hi @BeeBeeDee - your experience with your husband and cooking instructions is very similar to one of the earlier things I noticed with my husband (prior to pursuing these tests).
Although he’d done it many times, he could not follow the step by step instructions on the wallpaper paste packet for mixing it with water. X

 

[Bevhar]

Thank you Bev for your ongoing support (and everyone). I’m glad to be off work now until Monday 😅.
I suppose we never know what life will throw at us from one day to the next do we.
As you so rightly said, whilst we of course feel the impacts of our own set backs, losses and things sent to try us, there is sadly often people around us who are less fortunate for different reasons.
One day at a time and deal with what is in front of us I suppose.
So much support on here, day or night, it is a godsend.
Take care, hugs back to you and I have no doubt from our chats on here, that you will bounce back.
Thank you, Rachel ☺️ xxx

I feel the same your support & everyone’s on here is amazing & you realise your not alone Thank you so much for saying I will bounce back I’m sure I will Enjoy your weekend love Bev x

 

[RM3]

Hi Bev @Bevhar. It has been good thank you (but quite busy). How has your weekend been? My husband has been good thanks. We worked well together - fitting a new shower screen (highlight of the weekend).
I woke up feeling so rough and (not that it makes much difference now) checked just to see and tested positive.
It has been quite nice to have an excuse to have the day in pj’s ha.
How has your hand been and ribs? Hope you’re not too uncomfortable. Have you and your husband managed to get out at all? Thanks, Rachel x

 

[Bevhar]

Hi Bev @Bevhar. It has been good thank you (but quite busy). How has your weekend been? My husband has been good thanks. We worked well together - fitting a new shower screen (highlight of the weekend).
I woke up feeling so rough and (not that it makes much difference now) checked just to see and tested positive.
It has been quite nice to have an excuse to have the day in pj’s ha.
How has your hand been and ribs? Hope you’re not too uncomfortable. Have you and your husband managed to get out at all? Thanks, Rachel x

We went to our eldest daughters for a BBQ our younger daughter husband & little boy joined us it was to celebrate my husband’s birthday which is on Thurs We had a lovely time but my ribs are really hurting I’m off to the hospital tomorrow for my hand so going to ask them for some stronger pain relief I’ve never had pain like it My knee replacement was nowhere near as painful Hope you feel better soon That’s good you put the shower screen up together take care xx

 

[RM3]

We went to our eldest daughters for a BBQ our younger daughter husband & little boy joined us it was to celebrate my husband’s birthday which is on Thurs We had a lovely time but my ribs are really hurting I’m off to the hospital tomorrow for my hand so going to ask them for some stronger pain relief I’ve never had pain like it My knee replacement was nowhere near as painful Hope you feel better soon That’s good you put the shower screen up together take care xx

Aww that sounds lovely. Love family days like that. Hope your husband enjoyed his early birthday celebrations.
Hope it goes well at the hospital and they agree to give you stronger pain relief. If you have to wait for things to heal, you should at least be as comfortable as you can be.
Shower screen was quite funny - we were proud of ourselves. Only took us about 3 hours ha.
Take care x

 

[Bevhar]

Aww that sounds lovely. Love family days like that. Hope your husband enjoyed his early birthday celebrations.
Hope it goes well at the hospital and they agree to give you stronger pain relief. If you have to wait for things to heal, you should at least be as comfortable as you can be.
Shower screen was quite funny - we were proud of ourselves. Only took us about 3 hours ha.
Take care x

You sound a lot more happy & positive which is good xx

 

[RM3]

You sound a lot more happy & positive which is good xx

Thank you, I have felt quite good with things this weekend. 😌 x

 

[RM3]

We went to our eldest daughters for a BBQ our younger daughter husband & little boy joined us it was to celebrate my husband’s birthday which is on Thurs We had a lovely time but my ribs are really hurting I’m off to the hospital tomorrow for my hand so going to ask them for some stronger pain relief I’ve never had pain like it My knee replacement was nowhere near as painful Hope you feel better soon That’s good you put the shower screen up together take care xx

Hi @Bevhar. Hope all went ok at the hospital and they gave you some good painkillers? X

 

[Bevhar]

Hi @Bevhar. Hope all went ok at the hospital and they gave you some good painkillers? X

Unfortunately they didn’t give me any painkillers I have to speak to my doctor But I’m now in plaster they wanted to operate on my hand but I said no as I would have needed help at home My husband is still very loving but not really aware that I’m needing help My daughter in Wales said she will come down on a weekend on her own but said definitely not we will muddle through I don’t want either of my daughters lives impacted too much Mt eldest is popping in tomorrow to see us I’ve just got to be patient & let it all heal This forum is such a godsend Hope your day has been good x

 

[RM3]

Unfortunately they didn’t give me any painkillers I have to speak to my doctor But I’m now in plaster they wanted to operate on my hand but I said no as I would have needed help at home My husband is still very loving but not really aware that I’m needing help My daughter in Wales said she will come down on a weekend on her own but said definitely not we will muddle through I don’t want either of my daughters lives impacted too much Mt eldest is popping in tomorrow to see us I’ve just got to be patient & let it all heal This forum is such a godsend Hope your day has been good x

Oh really - will it all heal ok without the op? I understand what you mean about not wanting to put on your children, remember they love and care though if ever you needed them and I’m sure would want to help.
Hopefully your GP can arrange some painkillers. I take cocodomol occasionally and definitely notice a difference from normal paracetamol. I got them for if/when the touch of arthritis flares up in my hip. I was reluctant to take as heard negative comments regarding upset stomach with them - but been ok when taken and definitely help.
Take care x

 

[Bevhar]

Oh really - will it all heal ok without the op? I understand what you mean about not wanting to put on your children, remember they love and care though if ever you needed them and I’m sure would want to help.
Hopefully your GP can arrange some painkillers. I take cocodomol occasionally and definitely notice a difference from normal paracetamol. I got them for if/when the touch of arthritis flares up in my hip. I was reluctant to take as heard negative comments regarding upset stomach with them - but been ok when taken and definitely help.
Take care x

Thank you for that I will try co codomol

Oh really - will it all heal ok without the op? I understand what you mean about not wanting to put on your children, remember they love and care though if ever you needed them and I’m sure would want to help.
Hopefully your GP can arrange some painkillers. I take cocodomol occasionally and definitely notice a difference from normal paracetamol. I got them for if/when the touch of arthritis flares up in my hip. I was reluctant to take as heard negative comments regarding upset stomach with them - but been ok when taken and definitely help.
Take care x

Oh really - will it all heal ok without the op? I understand what you mean about not wanting to put on your children, remember they love and care though if ever you needed them and I’m sure would want to help.
Hopefully your GP can arrange some painkillers. I take cocodomol occasionally and definitely notice a difference from normal paracetamol. I got them for if/when the touch of arthritis flares up in my hip. I was reluctant to take as heard negative comments regarding upset stomach with them - but been ok when taken and definitely help.
Take care x

Thank you I will try co codomol x

 

[jugglingmum]

Unfortunately they didn’t give me any painkillers I have to speak to my doctor But I’m now in plaster they wanted to operate on my hand but I said no as I would have needed help at home My husband is still very loving but not really aware that I’m needing help My daughter in Wales said she will come down on a weekend on her own but said definitely not we will muddle through I don’t want either of my daughters lives impacted too much Mt eldest is popping in tomorrow to see us I’ve just got to be patient & let it all heal This forum is such a godsend Hope your day has been good x

Please consider the options re an operation. My understanding is healing can be faster with an operation and you are more likely to get full movement back in your hand.

If you go to the GP for painkillers you are likely to get higher strength cocodamol than prescribed over the counter or maybe tramadol which my husband had a very bad experience with.

I've broken my ribs twice and it is very painful for the first week or 2 just doing tasks for daily living. Getting in and out of a car was very difficult.

I know you don't want to trouble people but getting some help from family for a couple of days would help your ribs heal faster.

 

[RM3]

Good Evening. I just wanted to ask please what others have done following a diagnosis.
My husband’s appointment at the memory clinic is 25th June (CT Scan was last week). I had intended to ask for him not to be told if it was Alzheimer’s/Dementia and to be told MCI (so that he still had a reason for the changes). I was worried about his mental health if he knew.
We obviously don’t know yet what the outcome will be but I want to try and be prepared. I do think that he has a right to know now?
He has been quite positive about the tests and seeing it as a way to make life better for him (especially at work) once he knows what (if anything), is wrong.
He got his letter today and he seemed (understandably), quite shocked that it is under the Young People With Dementia team.
I talked about it with him and he just wants it all to happen, so that he has something to tell work (I’m not entirely sure whether he fully grasps this or not).
I don’t think that he thinks anything will change and that he will stay how he is now but be able to get medication, to lessen the symptoms and be able to function better at work (mainly).
It’s strange but he does not mention the impact on his life outside of work at all really (and it is having some impact already).
I’m not entirely sure what best to say to him around it all (or not say).
Also, I wondered please if others have crammed in lots of plans immediately following a diagnosis (bucket list type of things I mean)?
Thank you x

 

[BeeBeeDee]

Good Evening. I just wanted to ask please what others have done following a diagnosis.
My husband’s appointment at the memory clinic is 25th June (CT Scan was last week). I had intended to ask for him not to be told if it was Alzheimer’s/Dementia and to be told MCI (so that he still had a reason for the changes). I was worried about his mental health if he knew.
We obviously don’t know yet what the outcome will be but I want to try and be prepared.
He has been quite positive about the tests and seeing it as a way to make life better for him (especially at work) once he knows what (if anything), is wrong.
He got his letter today and he seemed (understandably), quite shocked that it is under the Young People With Dementia team.
I talked about it with him and he just wants it all to happen, so that he has something to tell work (I’m not entirely sure whether he fully grasps this or not).
I don’t think that he thinks anything will change and that he will stay how he is now but be able to get medication, to lessen the symptoms and be able to function better at work (mainly).
It’s strange but he does not mention the impact on his life outside of work at all really (and it is having some impact already).
I’m not entirely sure what best to say to him around it all (or not say).
Also, I wondered if others have crammed in lots of plans immediately following a diagnosis (bucket list type of things I mean)?
Thank you x

At our appointment we were asked if we wanted to know the results - I knew this meant we were going to be told it was Dementia. In a strange way it was a relief to be told it was Alz, otherwise I would have thought what on earth is wrong with him. My husband almost a year in still doesnt think there is anything wrong and I believe this is quite common.
We have just continued with our life as it was before - as others on here, my head is in the sand and I try to just think of a day or few days at a time - that can be trying enough without thinking too far ahead

 

[RM3]

At our appointment we were asked if we wanted to know the results - I knew this meant we were going to be told it was Dementia. In a strange way it was a relief to be told it was Alz, otherwise I would have thought what on earth is wrong with him. My husband almost a year in still doesnt think there is anything wrong and I believe this is quite common.
We have just continued with our life as it was before - as others on here, my head is in the sand and I try to just think of a day or few days at a time - that can be trying enough without thinking too far ahead

Hi @BeeBeeDee. Thank you for replying and I hope you are doing ok?
I miss not being able to have the same depth of conversation and discussion with my OH. He seems to have such a simplistic view now. It’s either black, or white - no debate over the grey areas (only way so can think to describe it). I know everyone knows here though.
If he is given a diagnosis, I can kind of imagine feeling shocked but also the relief you mention too.
Thanks again and take care x

 

[jennifer1967]

Good Evening. I just wanted to ask please what others have done following a diagnosis.
My husband’s appointment at the memory clinic is 25th June (CT Scan was last week). I had intended to ask for him not to be told if it was Alzheimer’s/Dementia and to be told MCI (so that he still had a reason for the changes). I was worried about his mental health if he knew.
We obviously don’t know yet what the outcome will be but I want to try and be prepared. I do think that he has a right to know now?
He has been quite positive about the tests and seeing it as a way to make life better for him (especially at work) once he knows what (if anything), is wrong.
He got his letter today and he seemed (understandably), quite shocked that it is under the Young People With Dementia team.
I talked about it with him and he just wants it all to happen, so that he has something to tell work (I’m not entirely sure whether he fully grasps this or not).
I don’t think that he thinks anything will change and that he will stay how he is now but be able to get medication, to lessen the symptoms and be able to function better at work (mainly).
It’s strange but he does not mention the impact on his life outside of work at all really (and it is having some impact already).
I’m not entirely sure what best to say to him around it all (or not say).
Also, I wondered please if others have crammed in lots of plans immediately following a diagnosis (bucket list type of things I mean)?
Thank you x

my husband was fully aware, from the tests and diagnosis. we went to memory clinic for the tests and had to wait until the nurse had consulted with the specialist. he already had an MRI scan the year before as he was unsteady on his feet. i told him about the test. i told him the diagnosis as it was on the phone and he wanted me to take it. 10 days later was the first lock down and he was shielding most of the year so couldnt do anything. then 6 months later i was housebound with chronic pain so really havent been out together as such. he has COPD and his mobility is worsened so he doesnt walk very far. it was important to him and us that i was open with him. he trusts me and will ask me questions which i usually can answer or find the answer. he can trust me.

 

[Spottydog]

Hello, it's horrible having to wait in limbo for a diagnosis. I wondered if you had heard about Wendy Mitchell's writing and whether it might help a little?

 

[RM3]

my husband was fully aware, from the tests and diagnosis. we went to memory clinic for the tests and had to wait until the nurse had consulted with the specialist. he already had an MRI scan the year before as he was unsteady on his feet. i told him about the test. i told him the diagnosis as it was on the phone and he wanted me to take it. 10 days later was the first lock down and he was shielding most of the year so couldnt do anything. then 6 months later i was housebound with chronic pain so really havent been out together as such. he has COPD and his mobility is worsened so he doesnt walk very far. it was important to him and us that i was open with him. he trusts me and will ask me questions which i usually can answer or find the answer. he can trust me.

Hi @jennifer1967. Thank you for replying. I think the trust that you mention, is very important. At a time when it must feel you are losing control to others, I will take what you say on board - that trust is very important.
I can’t imagine how difficult the lockdowns must have been in these circumstances. Thank goodness we are past all of that and hope we never return.
I hope all is well with you and thank you again (see you on ‘change a word in five’) x

 

[RM3]

Hello, it's horrible having to wait in limbo for a diagnosis. I wondered if you had heard about Wendy Mitchell's writing and whether it might help a little?

Hi @Spottydog. Thank you for replying and I hope that you are well.
I had forgotten to look this up.
I will have a look on Amazon for this - thank you for reminding me.
It all feels a bit surreal. I can’t envisage the moments after we leave the memory clinic (should there be a diagnosis).
I have to say though, if there was no diagnosis, I would wonder what on earth was happening. Week by week there just seems to be subtle change.
I do still worry about manifesting all of this somehow but I feel too much is changing now.
I noticed a couple of things recently with his driving and judgement. He said something himself tonight about feeling in a bit of a day dream sometimes when driving.
Oh the prospect is all just so much to take in.
I’m just trying to think what to do. As with most people, we have such busy lives, with work and family.
I know that I will work it all out for us but I just have to get though this next couple of weeks to find out where we stand. Thanks again and take care x