advice please

[jennifer1967]

I’m so sorry that your’e feeling so down @jennifer1967. No wonder though. These things are not trivial and I can understand how you must feel teary.

I would certainly phone The diabetic nurse/department and make them understand that you can’t go on like this.

I’m glad you’ve posted here. I hope it has helped a little bit.

thank you @Izzy i seem to be able to do the big things but the tiny things seem to get to me. with the doctors wanted reviews for my husbands diabetes, COPD last week. i know its because his sugars are higher but he doesnt want it, its 10 minutes from the pharmacy. he had his COPD review the same. its all so pointless. how are they supposed to check lung function on the phone? its just another thing to think about. how do you stretch 24hrs into 48hrs. none have any idea of dementia and just their specifics. add dementia in, and its an whole different ball game.
its just remembering the insulin and the blood checks. along with all the other things that is stressing me. at least my husband has come down and feels better.

 

[RM3]

thank you @Izzy i seem to be able to do the big things but the tiny things seem to get to me. with the doctors wanted reviews for my husbands diabetes, COPD last week. i know its because his sugars are higher but he doesnt want it, its 10 minutes from the pharmacy. he had his COPD review the same. its all so pointless. how are they supposed to check lung function on the phone? its just another thing to think about. how do you stretch 24hrs into 48hrs. none have any idea of dementia and just their specifics. add dementia in, and its an whole different ball game.
its just remembering the insulin and the blood checks. along with all the other things that is stressing me. at least my husband has come down and feels better.

Hello @jennifer1967. Just wanted to say hello and that I hope your afternoon/evening has felt better.
Sending you a smile and hug 🤗 x

 

[jennifer1967]

Hello @jennifer1967. Just wanted to say hello and that I hope your afternoon/evening has felt better.
Sending you a smile and hug 🤗 x

thank you @RM3, i dont whats the matter with me at the moment. i go down so quick but my husband told me to treat myself. my fingers hit the keyboard. fathers day tomorrow so i expect the kids will pop in. my son is supposed to be doing the grass. thankyou for a smile and hug. i spend all my time in the house so dont see or talk to anyone regularly

 

[RM3]

thank you @RM3, i dont whats the matter with me at the moment. i go down so quick but my husband told me to treat myself. my fingers hit the keyboard. fathers day tomorrow so i expect the kids will pop in. my son is supposed to be doing the grass. thankyou for a smile and hug. i spend all my time in the house so dont see or talk to anyone regularly

It must understandably feel lonely sometimes for you. I am fortunate to be able to get out and about and have people around me. I don’t really talk much about what we are going through though (until we know more).
I know that if it wasn’t for this forum, I would feel so isolated with this.
I’m going to go in search of a couple of nice jigsaws this week. I have just fancied occupying my mind a little bit when I can but relaxing too (I will probably not get past half done ha).
I hope the weather stays dry to enable the grass to be cut and that you see family for Father’s Day. It sounds as though there are nice things to look forward to tomorrow ☺️. Take care x

 

[jennifer1967]

It must understandably feel lonely sometimes for you. I am fortunate to be able to get out and about and have people around me. I don’t really talk much about what we are going through though (until we know more).
I know that if it wasn’t for this forum, I would feel so isolated with this.
I’m going to go in search of a couple of nice jigsaws this week. I have just fancied occupying my mind a little bit when I can but relaxing too (I will probably not get past half done ha).
I hope the weather stays dry to enable the grass to be cut and that you see family for Father’s Day. It sounds as though there are nice things to look forward to tomorrow ☺️. Take care x

good luck with the jigsaw. i knit and other things so do try and keep active. i have 2 mornings to myself when he goes to men shed. sometimes its a lack of motivation.

 

[RM3]

I wish I could do more creative things. I am going to try more - to find ways to relax. I suppose the right things can be quite therapeutic but as you say, we have to motivate ourselves.
Do you knit particular things? I saw someone on my Facebook page that had knit some tiny bonnets for premature babies. I really wished I could have done something like that. X

 

[jennifer1967]

I wish I could do more creative things. I am going to try more - to find ways to relax. I suppose the right things can be quite therapeutic but as you say, we have to motivate ourselves.
Do you knit particular things? I saw someone on my Facebook page that had knit some tiny bonnets for premature babies. I really wished I could have done something like that. X

i tend to do toys as they are all different. i read the papers, do the crossword [not the intelligent one]. the grandchildren get some of them. its just something that i dont have to spend too much time on. i have had to get used to being in most of the time and patience to wait for jobs to be done as i cant do them.

 

[RM3]

i tend to do toys as they are all different. i read the papers, do the crossword [not the intelligent one]. the grandchildren get some of them. its just something that i dont have to spend too much time on. i have had to get used to being in most of the time and patience to wait for jobs to be done as i cant do them.

Well I’m glad that we like so many others, have this forum to chat with people who understand . When one’s down, there’s always someone feeling a bit stronger to give them a lift (and it goes around).
Enjoy your day tomorrow - I have my dad down for 2 days, so will have my first Father’s Day with him for a few years (instead of a quick chat on the phone).
🤞 again for a dry day tomorrow and at least that will be one job done with the grass.
Take care x

 

[jennifer1967]

hes had a nice card with a lorry on it and a dvd collection he wanted. not sure he will watch them but he has the choice.
ive been looking at age uk as hes said yes to some help for me and a gardener. will pay for a skip and someone to clear the garden. my son keeps saying he will do it and then letting me down. then tells me off if i try. not seen him today, he says im manipulating things with my husbands dementia, that im making myself sound superior and saying its all on my shoulders. that its me in the wrong for using his dads dementia. i have spent most of the day answering his text and trying to phone him. all i want him to do is cut the grass. to be fair to him, i havent heard from my daughter today either. im just not sure how to go about things.

 

[MaNaAk]

hes had a nice card with a lorry on it and a dvd collection he wanted. not sure he will watch them but he has the choice.
ive been looking at age uk as hes said yes to some help for me and a gardener. will pay for a skip and someone to clear the garden. my son keeps saying he will do it and then letting me down. then tells me off if i try. not seen him today, he says im manipulating things with my husbands dementia, that im making myself sound superior and saying its all on my shoulders. that its me in the wrong for using his dads dementia. i have spent most of the day answering his text and trying to phone him. all i want him to do is cut the grass. to be fair to him, i havent heard from my daughter today either. im just not sure how to go about things.

Dear @jennifer1967,

I've just caught up with this thread. I'm so sorry and I don't know how your son can say that. I think you should go ahead and get that help from Age UK whether he likes it or not.

((((((((((((((((((((((Hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

MaNaAk

PS: Just read it again and I feel angry on your behalf.

 

[nita]

I think your son is manipulating you! Don't take any notice, as @MaNaAk says, go ahead and book the help you need. If you don't see him he doesn't have to know about it anyway. Be firm - after all you're doing him a favour, taking it off his shoulders, not that he does it anyway. You need regular, reliable help.

Age UK doesn't offer much in my area but maybe yours does. Do you have a Carers' hub - mine offers a list or directory of people who can help with all sorts of things - cleaning, gardening, laundry, etc. Find out if they or another organisation provides such a list - maybe your council. They won't recommend anyone, just give you the names of people and organisations.

 

[RM3]

Hi @jennifer1967. I’m sorry that today didn’t turn out quite how you had hoped.
It is your life and your home/garden. I would go ahead and do whatever you want to do! This is not to spite anyone, it is just your right.
Best wishes x

 

[jennifer1967]

I think your son is manipulating you! Don't take any notice, as @MaNaAk says, go ahead and book the help you need. If you don't see him he doesn't have to know about it anyway. Be firm - after all you're doing him a favour, taking it off his shoulders, not that he does it anyway. You need regular, reliable help.

Age UK doesn't offer much in my area but maybe yours does. Do you have a Carers' hub - mine offers a list or directory of people who can help with all sorts of things - cleaning, gardening, laundry, etc. Find out if they or another organisation provides such a list - maybe your council. They won't recommend anyone, just give you the names of people and organisations.

we have a unpaid carers organisation. ive had a look on age uk websites but will look into them as well. didnt think of the carers. i need to get motivated and get it sorted. never mind football tonight and the shed tomorrow. probably be cheaper than keep giving the son money. my daughter has just gone after seeing her dad.

 

[jennifer1967]

Hi @jennifer1967. I’m sorry that today didn’t turn out quite how you had hoped.
It is your life and your home/garden. I would go ahead and do whatever you want to do! This is not to spite anyone, it is just your right.
Best wishes x

thank you, i need to get it sorted. just add to the list. daughter did come round and other younger son did phone so he was remembered.

 

[RM3]

thank you, i need to get it sorted. just add to the list. daughter did come round and other younger son did phone so he was remembered.

That is nice then. Yes, do what you can do to make life a little easier for youself. Any resources that you can find (so many people have good tips on her for resources don’t they). X

 

[jennifer1967]

That is nice then. Yes, do what you can do to make life a little easier for youself. Any resources that you can fine (so many people have good tips on her for resources don’t they). X

thank you. we want to clear the garden and old shed with a skip etc and get another metal shed to put all the gardening stuff in. im in a bit of a rut but i will get it done.

 

[Kevinl]

Hello @jennifer1967. Just wanted to say hello and that I hope your afternoon/evening has felt better.
Sending you a smile and hug 🤗 x

 

[MaNaAk]

thank you. we want to clear the garden and old shed with a skip etc and get another metal shed to put all the gardening stuff in. im in a bit of a rut but i will get it done.

Dear @jennifer1967,

I'm glad your youngest daughter came round and your other son phoned. I hope you feel better now.

MaNaAk

 

[Grannie G]

Sorry you’ve had a disappointing day @jennifer1967

Your son is being unfair. Probably criticising you as a form of defence for letting you down.

Unless some people live as carers they haven’t a clue.

 

[jennifer1967]

Dear @jennifer1967,

I'm glad your youngest daughter came round and your other son phoned. I hope you feel better now.

MaNaAk

im more annoyed at myself not doing anything.