advice please

[maggie6445]

I'm sorry, @jennifer1967 , I know how unhelpful their help is. My oh caused havoc too.

We're just getting to the stage where help is something he no longer thinks about and to be honest ,I'm glad.
Sad for him that the thinking skill has gone but easier for me!

 

[jennifer1967]

I'm sorry, @jennifer1967 , I know how unhelpful their help is. My oh caused havoc too.

We're just getting to the stage where help is something he no longer thinks about and to be honest ,I'm glad.
Sad for him that the thinking skill has gone but easier for me!

It was just he was telling me I needed help then caused unnecessary work which could have been avoided. He then looks over my shoulder to check what I'm doing and telling me how I should do.it
Gets frustrated when I ignore his advice.

 

[Chizz]

Hi @jennifer1967 - I hope it all quietens down for you this evening, so you can rest a bit.
Tomorrow is another day. You'll get the laptop sorted, and things will get easier.

 

[jennifer1967]

Hi @jennifer1967 - I hope it all quietens down for you this evening, so you can rest a bit.
Tomorrow is another day. You'll get the laptop sorted, and things will get easier.

Thank you. My son is coming over tomorrow to take us. He can go with my husband to get a laptop. I can't walk far outside as I will get too much pain

 

[MaNaAk]

((((((((((Hugs)))))))))

MaNaAk

 

[jennifer1967]

((((((((((Hugs)))))))))

MaNaAk

Thankyou. All hugs appreciated. Did I go spare with him, I ended up in tears as I was so fed and in pain trying to sort out his mess. Son coming tomorrow

 

[nita]

@jennifer1967 I suppose the idea that you needed help lodged in his head and he thought he could do something. Sometimes even people without dementia can be "helpful" like that.

Perhaps don't mention too much about the needing help thing. Could you not go ahead and get the gardener and cleaner without telling him? Is it a question of money , that he has to pay? I wonder if you have POA for him and could just use that. Perhaps you feel like you'd be going behind his back. A difficult situation.

 

[jennifer1967]

Sorry I'm on my phone and tired. Got joint acc and both poas. He's just trying to help but getting it wrong increasing jobs. I'm not coping as well and the pain is worse. I just got to my limit.

 

[sdmhred]

hope you rest well tonight Jennifer. This is a tough time for you 😢😢

 

[jennifer1967]

hope you rest well tonight Jennifer. This is a tough time for you 😢😢

Thankyou, seems to keep giving. Just got to keep on going and hope it gets better

 

[MaNaAk]

Dear @jennifer1967,

I hope you're okay today

MaNaAk

 

[jennifer1967]

Dear @jennifer1967,

I hope you're okay today

MaNaAk

im ok. been to the bank and sorted, exchanged laptop from yesterday and got a better one which im using now which is so much easier. just trying to set it up.

 

[Chizz]

Well done @jennifer1967 - that's two jobs sorted!

 

[jennifer1967]

thankyou, and ordered the weeks shopping to be delivered sunday. had to put the app on my husbands phone but it is a joint account and i still will be managing it. i suppose i could do it online. now paying for going out with pain but it had to be done.
my son took us to town. he has a car with 2 doors so one of us had to climb in the back. my husband did it and there wasnt too bad but when got home, the carpark slopes backwards. trying to get him out was like a sketch from mr bean. my husband had his knee stuck, son trying to help him and im afraid i couldnt do anything for laughing. my son has a very dry wit like my husband and the comments were just so funny. as he was sliding back, nearly lost his trousers as they were sliding down. he was laughing as well which didnt help. he did get out but needed his inhaler, cup of tea and sit down. they then changed the laptop for another one which is newer and better.
need to check out help tomorrow. i want to make a list of what i need and priorities. if you dont mind @canary how did you go about it? how did you decide? today was a better day and england ladies are winning 2-0 at the moment.

 

[Chizz]

Laughing is always good therapy - so you all benefited!

 

[jennifer1967]

my surgery is doing annual reviews of chronic illnesses, diabetes and COPD, by phone by the clinical pharmacist. he had a COPD one couple of weeks ago. i wondering whether this is useful because how do you review a persons lung function on the phone? and how he takes his inhalers?
now its his diabetes review on the phone which really he doesnt want and cant see the value of it. also the appt can be any time in that day rather than morning or afternoon which is a pain. its 15 minutes duration. so not even giving him time to think or answer any questions and usually i end up answering as he gets disinterested. they did ask whether pulmonary exercises would help. no he doesnt want and would forget them. remembering he has problems when he needs his ventolin inhaler so what hope is there to remember the exercises.
i havent heard of a dementia review at all. says it all really

 

[MaNaAk]

thankyou, and ordered the weeks shopping to be delivered sunday. had to put the app on my husbands phone but it is a joint account and i still will be managing it. i suppose i could do it online. now paying for going out with pain but it had to be done.
my son took us to town. he has a car with 2 doors so one of us had to climb in the back. my husband did it and there wasnt too bad but when got home, the carpark slopes backwards. trying to get him out was like a sketch from mr bean. my husband had his knee stuck, son trying to help him and im afraid i couldnt do anything for laughing. my son has a very dry wit like my husband and the comments were just so funny. as he was sliding back, nearly lost his trousers as they were sliding down. he was laughing as well which didnt help. he did get out but needed his inhaler, cup of tea and sit down. they then changed the laptop for another one which is newer and better.
need to check out help tomorrow. i want to make a list of what i need and priorities. if you dont mind @canary how did you go about it? how did you decide? today was a better day and england ladies are winning 2-0 at the moment.

There friends from Chichester were locked out of a car and from what I remember the only access was via the boot or window either way it was hilarious!

MaNaAk

 

[jennifer1967]

There friends from Chichester were locked out of a car and from what I remember the only access was via the boot or window either way it was hilarious!

MaNaAk

hes vowed not to go in the back of the car again. it was funny and i was no help not able to do anything but laugh. my son didnt help with his dry sense of humour. i did think about going round the other side and just push him.

 

[jennifer1967]

im sat her on my own. hes gone to bed as hes got a stomach ache. i thought it was a bug but he tells me hes probably ate too many strawberries. its a bit lonely on my own.
im struggling with the second insulin which keeps jamming and cant inject. its fine as the first one will do it but it stresses because i have to do 2 blood check after wards. im trying to keep it going but it clashes with his shower, getting dinner ready, his meds, by meds and im at the point where i give up. the diabetic nurse phones and i can phone the dept. so i will have to do that. not even sure why i am posting all this. ive got no-one else to talk to. seem to get more teary more often these days over things that are so trivial.

 

[Izzy]

I’m so sorry that your’e feeling so down @jennifer1967. No wonder though. These things are not trivial and I can understand how you must feel teary.

I would certainly phone The diabetic nurse/department and make them understand that you can’t go on like this.

I’m glad you’ve posted here. I hope it has helped a little bit.