• All threads and posts regarding Coronavirus COVID-19 can be found in our area specifically for Coronavirus COVID-19 discussion.

    You can directly access this area >here<.

advice please

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
7,977
0
Essex
Take it nice and slowly. I remember looking in on dad when donepezil was altered. He used to call it Donna or the naughty tablet as when he first took it, it made him dizzy (taking it too early and also he had diabetic medication).

MaNaAk
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
12,656
0
Southampton
Take it nice and slowly. I remember looking in on dad when donepezil was altered. He used to call it Donna or the naughty tablet as when he first took it, it made him dizzy (taking it too early and also he had diabetic medication).

MaNaAk
thanks @MaNaAk just made him a cup of tea. i looked up memantine and its for alzheimers and not vascular.
 

Weasell

Registered User
Oct 21, 2019
1,281
0
thanks @MaNaAk just made him a cup of tea. i looked up memantine and its for alzheimers and not vascular.
I read a clinical trial done in another country.
It was with some interest that the people with vascular that took Memantine, showed improvement ( 90 per cent of them) !!!!!
But I can’t remember the particulars ( small numbers etc etc )

But as you say it is not prescribed for vascular in the UK.
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
12,656
0
Southampton
I read a clinical trial done in another country.
It was with some interest that the people with vascular that took Memantine, showed improvement ( 90 per cent of them) !!!!!
But I can’t remember the particulars ( small numbers etc etc )

But as you say it is not prescribed for vascular in the UK.
theyve given him an extra amitriptyline. theres no tablets specifically for vascular like there is for alzheimers.
 

Weasell

Registered User
Oct 21, 2019
1,281
0
theyve given him an extra amitriptyline. theres no tablets specifically for vascular like there is for alzheimers.
I so hope he settles.
When you are not well yourself, the challenge to care for another is hard enough. Without extra hurdles to overcome.
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
12,656
0
Southampton
I so hope he settles.
When you are not well yourself, the challenge to care for another is hard enough. Without extra hurdles to overcome.
he was on his way to erupting again last night and i managed to stop it just in time. went to bed a bit earlier than him as well. the pain is another thing he uses against me or winds me up about. he wouldnt last five minutes
 

lemonbalm

Registered User
May 21, 2018
1,802
0
I read a clinical trial done in another country.
It was with some interest that the people with vascular that took Memantine, showed improvement ( 90 per cent of them) !!!!!
But I can’t remember the particulars ( small numbers etc etc )

But as you say it is not prescribed for vascular in the UK.

Interesting. My mum has been prescribed Memantine for some time but her "probable diagnosis" is vascular dementia. Nobody has ever suggested she may have Alzheimer's as well but I guess that's a possibility. I think they have just been throwing anything at her that may work, poor thing.
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
12,656
0
Southampton
Interesting. My mum has been prescribed Memantine for some time but her "probable diagnosis" is vascular dementia. Nobody has ever suggested she may have Alzheimer's as well but I guess that's a possibility. I think they have just been throwing anything at her that may work, poor thing.
thats why i looked it up because its been mentioned on different posts a few times
 

Weasell

Registered User
Oct 21, 2019
1,281
0
Interesting. My mum has been prescribed Memantine for some time but her "probable diagnosis" is vascular dementia. Nobody has ever suggested she may have Alzheimer's as well but I guess that's a possibility. I think they have just been throwing anything at her that may work, poor thing.
You are in a very fortunate minority.
She must have been being a bit of a pickle at the time?
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
7,977
0
Essex
Dad was waving his walking stick (@Lovedadbut) at his friends in a threatening manner when he was put on memantine. Most of them were also on memantine according to the care home manageress.

MaNaAk
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
12,656
0
Southampton
my daughter came round with the extra prescription and is playing down everything like my son did yesterday and making a joke out of it. they are reluctant to talk about his outbursts and he was on fine form with her. laughing and joking. hes still telling me what im eating, what i need to do, i went to bed earlier than him last night and i jumped as i heard him coming up the stairs. its really spooked me and had an effect in the last few weeks. ive not told him about safeguarding. he seems ok at the moment
 

Melles Belles

Registered User
Jul 4, 2017
1,024
0
South east
@jennifer1967 host mode has a lot to answer for. Do your son and daughter know about ‘hosting’. It’s very frustrating when it happens and your worries are not taken seriously. Hopefully the extra meds will help.
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
12,656
0
Southampton
@jennifer1967 host mode has a lot to answer for. Do your son and daughter know about ‘hosting’. It’s very frustrating when it happens and your worries are not taken seriously. Hopefully the extra meds will help.
no they dont. my husband told my son what it got for my birthday, my son said he cant be half bad. theres deafening silence when i try to explain. they have seen him go for me when they were younger. now they have decided hes just dad which is ill. my husband says he feels more relax today and not on edge but i havent asked him to do anything and all the jobs ive done are for his direct benefit. i hope it continues. its me on edge.
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
12,656
0
Southampton
yesterday was better with extra tablet. the tablet makes you drowsy until you get used to it so he did fall asleep. i did all the jobs for him yesterday and pleased him all day. he was kinder and more aware of what i wanted. i was on edge but hopefully, will be able to relax more once i can see the tablet working and trust him not erupt as he has done. son and daughter dont really want to know about it as their dad is on fine form around them. they think its just crosswords you get in any relationship. i dont think they want to face up to their dad declining.
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
7,977
0
Essex
Keep them updated each week and keep asking for help when you need. Once lockdown ends can one of them come and stay and give you respite so that they have a better idea of what is happening?

MaNaAk
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
12,656
0
Southampton
Keep them updated each week and keep asking for help when you need. Once lockdown ends can one of them come and stay and give you respite so that they have a better idea of what is happening?

MaNaAk
no, one is a carer for his partner and has a family. my daughter has a young family,3 and 7. she works every night and has a partner so both have own homes and families. maybe my son could take him out for a drive. they dont understand i could do with a break away from him. he wants to go on holiday and has already asked if my son could drive us there. he has not considered that i wont be able to come. he has no understanding of the pain im in and just takes it for granted i will do whatever it takes. hes still full of demands i noticed but he doesnt do them in front of them. the younger son who lives further away said he still looks like dad and that sums the problem up. ive not updated them fully as as soon has i start talking about the problem, basically they shut me down again and change the subject
 

Banjomansmate

Registered User
Jan 13, 2019
4,146
0
Dorset
Do you have a way of recording these outbursts, maybe not visually on your mobile phone but audibly using voice memos surreptitiously?

I know how difficult it is to get children to accept how bad a parent is getting. Even when they watched as The Banjoman struggled to put a pair of shoes on the correct feet his younger daughter was laughing and saying “Oh you are funny Dad!”. At that point I gave up in despair!
 
Last edited: