advice please

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
24,628
0
Southampton
Sorry to read that things are so hard at present, it is particularly annoying if he is capable of doing things but wont. Keep on ranting here, it's what we are for.
thank you, he has come down and calmed down but sometimes there is no excuse for sitting on ones backside and leaving someone else to do it all.
 

Charlie bougie

Registered User
Feb 6, 2024
30
0
Jennifer I hope you have a better week. Charlie worries me if I tell him what we're going to do he wants to help and hurries me even though he's so slow..I do like that he loves washing the dishes . I found out today he's not showering only washing up. So I may see if I can help him and he will put back on his dirty shirt and pants so will be taking them to Landry room at bedtime
Just wanted to say a few words but wrote a story keeping all in my thoughts
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
24,628
0
Southampton
Jennifer I hope you have a better week. Charlie worries me if I tell him what we're going to do he wants to help and hurries me even though he's so slow..I do like that he loves washing the dishes . I found out today he's not showering only washing up. So I may see if I can help him and he will put back on his dirty shirt and pants so will be taking them to Landry room at bedtime
Just wanted to say a few words but wrote a story keeping all in my thoughts
sometimes, its just constant. i take his dirty clothes out of his room at night time otherwise he would forget. i put a towel on his chest of drawers to remind him he needs a wash when he hasnt been showered the night before. that works with the occasional slip-up. its just not being able to relax that gets to me sometimes. i have to plan what i do because too much is too painful so plan jobs so i only have a couple each day plus the basics. with family as well, everyone wants a piece of you that you end up with nothing for yourself.
 

Charlie bougie

Registered User
Feb 6, 2024
30
0
sometimes, its just constant. i take his dirty clothes out of his room at night time otherwise he would forget. i put a towel on his chest of drawers to remind him he needs a wash when he hasnt been showered the night before. that works with the occasional slip-up. its just not being able to relax that gets to me sometimes. i have to plan what i do because too much is too painful so plan jobs so i only have a couple each day plus the basics. with family as well, everyone wants a piece of you that you end up with nothing for yourself.
 

Charlie bougie

Registered User
Feb 6, 2024
30
0
I'm learning to not expect to much from him his attention span is limited and short term memory about gone. We do have hard and good days I hope you can rest and enjoy some time for yourself. Charlie is with me all day everyday I read or follow this forum while he watches TV thank you for being here for me
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
24,628
0
Southampton
I'm learning to not expect to much from him his attention span is limited and short term memory about gone. We do have hard and good days I hope you can rest and enjoy some time for yourself. Charlie is with me all day everyday I read or follow this forum while he watches TV thank you for being here for me
good morning. hes had to get up for the diabetic review coming here. never happy getting up early. probably be sleeping some of the day afterwards. at least its sunny.
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
82,325
0
Kent
I hope today will be better for you @jennifer1967

You do sound tired and getting towards the end of your patience. It`s sad how it has to come to this and how carers have to accept this is how it is.

Have you asked for more support from the services?
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
24,628
0
Southampton
I hope today will be better for you @jennifer1967

You do sound tired and getting towards the end of your patience. It`s sad how it has to come to this and how carers have to accept this is how it is.

Have you asked for more support from the services?
yes but he has capacity and has told them no. good old capacity. they cant do anything. he can still manage a lot too, so i should be grateful. he just has times when hes more vague and demanding. probably me being a bit sensitive.
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
24,628
0
Southampton
thats the diabetic nurse done. passed with flying colours although has a drop in bp when stood up so has to be careful. she was talking about educating him in what he should be eating. he would totally ignore it and not sure how much he would remember any way.
she said do you remember last years review? may need a bit of dementia training perhaps. blood test for him tomorrow.
they have phoned me twice and he was actually on 2 lists for blood taking with 2 different people to visit!
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
12,137
0
Essex
yes but he has capacity and has told them no. good old capacity. they cant do anything. he can still manage a lot too, so i should be grateful. he just has times when hes more vague and demanding. probably me being a bit sensitive.

thats the diabetic nurse done. passed with flying colours although has a drop in bp when stood up so has to be careful. she was talking about educating him in what he should be eating. he would totally ignore it and not sure how much he would remember any way.
she said do you remember last years review? may need a bit of dementia training perhaps. blood test for him tomorrow.
they have phoned me twice and he was actually on 2 lists for blood taking with 2 different people to visit!
Hope you don't mind me saying this @jennifer1967 but sounds like the nurse has forgotten that your husband has dementia????? Glad the rest of the review was okay.

MaNaAk
 

Eddcorner

Registered User
Aug 27, 2020
1,706
0
the last couple of days have been harder. today being worse. ive done everything while hes sat down. not unusual but he is capable of doing some things. hes in the way of me doing things and gets anger when i move him to get it done quicker. i have limited time on my feet and doing before i have to sit down again. my back is very painful because of doing things slowly. he is throwing things down and watching me struggle. im just tired and in pain. he has stoped off to his room which is probably best. not got mens shed until thursday with BH.
had a rant and now got to hit reset button.
I remember those days, I even had to dodge on occasion... it was like mum was continuously adding to my list of things to do, frustrating didn't even cover it. So sorry you're experiencing a similar thing especially with all the aches, pains and tiredness. Hope stuff gets a little bit better soonish 💚
 

SherwoodSue

Registered User
Jun 18, 2022
682
0
Pain is the worst. Wanna get these jobs done quickly so I can get off my feet but you are being ‘helped’ …….😔
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
24,628
0
Southampton
Hope you don't mind me saying this @jennifer1967 but sounds like the nurse has forgotten that your husband has dementia????? Glad the rest of the review was okay.

MaNaAk
i know i couldnt believe it either. she was very nice. she gave him a sample bottle to take to the toilet. the neck of the bottle are tiny so how he was supposed to use it, i dont know. he did but difficult. i need to be more prepared next year.
 

Charlie bougie

Registered User
Feb 6, 2024
30
0
thats the diabetic nurse done. passed with flying colours although has a drop in bp when stood up so has to be careful. she was talking about educating him in what he should be eating. he would totally ignore it and not sure how much he would remember any way.
she said do you remember last years review? may need a bit of dementia training perhaps. blood test for him tomorrow.
they have phoned me twice and he was actually on 2 lists for blood taking with 2 different people to visit!
 

Charlie bougie

Registered User
Feb 6, 2024
30
0
Sorry you had to get up earlier today for the nurse. Great he passed his diabetic test. I was able to get a cleaner in yesterday first time it felt so good to relax and enjoy it. But I know we can't afford it every week. Just a mother's day gift. I hope you are feeling better and hubby helps you out. Charlie talks talks but it's ok. We are watching the Voice he loves music. Take care 😘