Thanks Alice. We will go for a drive and I'll stop by Waterstones to see if they have a copy of The Prophet, it would be good to read it.
I think your right, wanting to care can prevent us from seeing the wood for the trees. Maybe I should have tried carers earlier, maybe I shouldn't have moved back here with mum, maybe ....
The problem is that we can only really know these things in hindsight. I think my common sense is starting to kick in, although some say common sense may be common but hard to find. I think I have done what I should and could do, and I am happy with that, but as in all walks of life, paths part, and I am now at the point of accepting it, finally.
There is still meaning here, I look at mum fondly and she smiles back at me and sometimes laughs. But the meaning isn't the same meaning it was a year ago or even 6 months ago.
Like everyone else on this journey the time is coming to move on to new ground. I will be sad as mum becomes increasingly distant, but sometimes all the love and goodwill in the world doesn't help with the reality.