A lifelong friend and me

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by Palerider, May 19, 2019.

  1. Palerider

    Palerider Registered User

    Aug 9, 2015
    429
    Male
    North West
  2. Palerider

    Palerider Registered User

    Aug 9, 2015
    429
    Male
    North West
    Thanks....I feel much better at the thought of not burning clothes.....I'm not the worlds best at ironing
     
  3. AliceA

    AliceA Registered User

    May 27, 2016
    2,232
    Thanks, that sounds about right, through the sedative fog I heard one person question the consult. There is burning of cells during the procedure.
     
  4. AliceA

    AliceA Registered User

    May 27, 2016
    2,232
    Thanks again.
     
  5. Palerider

    Palerider Registered User

    Aug 9, 2015
    429
    Male
    North West
    Tonight we had roast chicken dinner (NO PEAS). Mum wasn't her usual self and I have began to realise things are changing again. I never plate mum's food now, I serve the food in serving dishes and let her take what she wants -which I find best. Tonight she filled her plate and ate the lot (despite having a bacon butty or two this morning as she refused a cooked breakfast). I felt quite sad because she didn't speak to me once during dinner.

    Earlier today I picked up my guitar, I haven't played in several months as I just haven't felt like it. I play classical and some flamenco. I was playing a well known farruca when mum suddenly asked to play 'silent night'. I haven't played that in years although I remembered vaguely an arrangement by J Duarke -classical guitar. So I played it and mum sang along in tune.

    This led us to playing The Seekers and then John Denver on the music system. Mum was quite amazing she sang along to the Seekers songs no problem -so many fave songs in that. Poor Elvis, she's given him the order of the boot (she used to love Elvis).

    How pwd change huh?
     
  6. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    9,867
    Female
    South coast
    Music can often make a huge difference.
    I remember when mum was in her care home, the carers would put on old "singalong" music and suddenly everyone was recharged. Mum and others would sing along word perfect (even the lady who was normally mute), some would be tapping their feet, occasionally one or two would get up and dance and even the man in severe stages would be waving his hand in time. Sometimes the carers would get out percussion instruments for te residents as well.

    If your mum responds to music, that is the way to go!

    I just wish OH would respond to music, but he is one of the few that do not. He gets stimulus overload and cannot cope with sound
     
  7. Palerider

    Palerider Registered User

    Aug 9, 2015
    429
    Male
    North West
    Hi Canary

    Yes its amazing how she sings along to the Seekers, I think it was a happy time in her life as she talks about when they came home from Malta having lived there (dad served in the Royal Navy and was posted out there in the 60's)
     
  8. Palerider

    Palerider Registered User

    Aug 9, 2015
    429
    Male
    North West
    Just found the link to what I played yesterday, mum remembered the Seekers used to be on TV

    Hope its ok to post

     
  9. Palerider

    Palerider Registered User

    Aug 9, 2015
    429
    Male
    North West
    Despite having done my first online shop in preperation for returning to work tomorrow I forgot to order mum's ready meals for the next few days. With great reluctance we have today been to the supermarket. Mum in her wisdom proceeded to buy two packs of bounty bars (7 in a pack), one pack of 7 mars bars, one large box of maltesers, four cream cakes, one large coffee and walnut cake, a large bag of oranges (useful) and more banana's and four bottles of beer. This now adds to her huge stash of cake and chocky wedged into our large pantry. When we got to the counter she refused to pay for the ready meals -which I then had to pay for. Note to self: do not forget to order ready meals online!!! :mad:
     
  10. AliceA

    AliceA Registered User

    May 27, 2016
    2,232
    Has your mum a small appetite? Parsley Box do slow cooked meals so they are tender in a sealed dish that can be microwaved, the advantage they do nor need a freezer or fridge. Good for soft diets or emergencies. Look out for offers. With all that choc they should be large enough :):):)
     
  11. Palerider

    Palerider Registered User

    Aug 9, 2015
    429
    Male
    North West
    She eats well if I cook for her, but on her own she resorts to cake and chocky. The idea of onlne shopping was to avoid more items being added to her stash (which I am not allowed to touch according to mum's law). Given her recent epsiode of constipation I think we'll be buying shares in a laxative company soon. At least she bought some oranges...:rolleyes:
     
  12. EdgsonW

    EdgsonW Registered User

    Jan 14, 2018
    85
    Male
    Bath
    So very true about the computer. I am having to learn to use a Mac which I bought for my Beloved 12 months before this all began. and now I'm continually concerned about passwords. So I bought a iPad which I thought I could handle but the iCloud wants to get involved in all my conversations. Any help I get goes by too fast anyway. Regards from EdgsonW
     
  13. AliceA

    AliceA Registered User

    May 27, 2016
    2,232
    I hope someone can help, i cloud does not do that to me.
    :) Are your conversations more interesting, i wonder:)
     
  14. AliceA

    AliceA Registered User

    May 27, 2016
    2,232
    I wish I could get out and shop, last time I did when a daughter offered to take us did not really work. It seemed every item seen was picked up and labels read as if a new invention.
    I left him in one section with trolley and then went on a quick sortie, found something I needed, dashed back, showed an interest. Then I repeated and repeated. Getting to the checkout I was seen and offered help!
    Thank goodness for the kindness of people.
     
  15. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    9,867
    Female
    South coast
    I do not take OH shopping any more. He wanders off like a small child when Im distracted by looking for things, then panics and dashes around because he doesnt know where I am and ends up at the customer service so that I get a call - Bing Bong........ Can Mrs [canary] please come to the service desk where her husband is waiting...........

    deep sigh........
     
  16. Palerider

    Palerider Registered User

    Aug 9, 2015
    429
    Male
    North West
    Mum makes a beeline for the bakery section -jam doughnuts but can't remember anything else. She clings onto me for dear life when shopping probably due to being in world that has become strange to her
     
  17. Palerider

    Palerider Registered User

    Aug 9, 2015
    429
    Male
    North West
    I have to detour to the loos and wait otherwise mum gets lost ...frustrating when half way round the store
     
  18. Palerider

    Palerider Registered User

    Aug 9, 2015
    429
    Male
    North West
    Well its been good to get back to work. As much as I love mum very much, having some time out and doing something different has made me feel better, in some senses I think emotionally I have moved on a little more from where I was a few weeks ago.

    Mum has been difficult with letting the carers in this week. But, it is the first week and today as I'm off I let the morning carer in. Within ten minutes mum had relaxed, allowing the carer to make her breakfast and hopefully break new ground -long may it last.
     
  19. AliceA

    AliceA Registered User

    May 27, 2016
    2,232
    Good luck, I am glad you have got back to work. X
     
  20. Palerider

    Palerider Registered User

    Aug 9, 2015
    429
    Male
    North West
    Thanks Alice
     

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