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A lifelong friend and me

Topsy Tiger

Registered User
Nov 12, 2019
26
Crashing into your thread, having read most of it this afternoon, to say what a contemplative and touching story it contains. Your lifelong friend and you are slightly further down the road than mine and me but I recognize so much in what you write. Thank you for that.
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,298
South East
That sounds lovely and touching , precious memories to store . I’m glad too the walking stick has disappeared and no need for tablets just now .
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
1,858
North West
Crashing into your thread, having read most of it this afternoon, to say what a contemplative and touching story it contains. Your lifelong friend and you are slightly further down the road than mine and me but I recognize so much in what you write. Thank you for that.
You are always welcome to crash my thread @Topsy Tiger never be afraid to be you :)
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
1,858
North West
That sounds lovely and touching , precious memories to store . I’m glad too the walking stick has disappeared and no need for tablets just now .
Thanks @Woohoo -it was a very emotional moment and made me realise that mum will hang on in there as best she can. We left the CH thinking I was her husband and by the time we got to have coffee somehow something triggered a memory -I can't be sure what
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
1,858
North West
Bless you, it’s lovely though that she recognised you though! Dad asked on Saturday who I was, followed by is that cha ( my husband ) your father?


um .... no you are Dad; clue in the word there ....Dad!
yes I have had similar moments with mum, but today somehow she knew -I am a bit puzzled by it but grateful it happened
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
1,858
North West
Glad that your mum was in a better mood today, and you both enjoyed the coffee and cake. I expect there will be more of these "ups and downs" along the way, hopefully she will have more of the good times in her new home and you will be able to spend these with her. Enjoy your works Christmas night out, you'll be able to have a good time, especially now you know your mum will be looked after.
Thaks @anxious annie I think I have been blessed today, despite the emotions and worry that she is ok -she's a strong lady and even now that shines through.

I may be weak on the work night out, but I'll give it my best shot
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,425
Bedford
Glad to hear that you feel the return to work was the right move and is going well and with the Christmas Party to look forward to. Seems to be some ups and downs with your Mum now in the CH which you seem to be working through to obtain some positive results. You generally sound happier now so I really hope it continues
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
1,858
North West
Glad to hear that you feel the return to work was the right move and is going well and with the Christmas Party to look forward to. Seems to be some ups and downs with your Mum now in the CH which you seem to be working through to obtain some positive results. You generally sound happier now so I really hope it continues
Thanks @Bikerbeth. I think my cortisol levels have come downn after all the stress and tension -Teepa Snow makes a good point of this. Not sure if I'm happier, but my conscience has eased a little after placing mum into care, but I do have moments where I suddenly feel guilty and sad. Work helps as it stops me from dwelling on a thought too long.
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
1,858
North West
Well on to the next part of this journey. I have received the financial assessment papers from the SS today and am now faced with the task of unravelling an equity release mum and dad took out over ten years ago -more stress. Its tempting to be angry about this, but I can see why they did it, mum hadn't sorted out her pension and dad was hardly well off by the time he got his monthly pension and both their lump sums were spent.

I'm trying to make sense of the equity release companies advice online, but as always there is nothing committal in how they may proceed and I am unsure whether an early settlement fee applies now mum has gone into care due to dementia.

Does anyone have any experience? Where is best to start with this?
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,425
Bedford
Well on to the next part of this journey. I have received the financial assessment papers from the SS today and am now faced with the task of unravelling an equity release mum and dad took out over ten years ago -more stress. Its tempting to be angry about this, but I can see why they did it, mum hadn't sorted out her pension and dad was hardly well off by the time he got his monthly pension and both their lump sums were spent.

I'm trying to make sense of the equity release companies advice online, but as always there is nothing committal in how they may proceed and I am unsure whether an early settlement fee applies now mum has gone into care due to dementia.

Does anyone have any experience? Where is best to start with this?
Hi. I am afraid I have no advice but could you ask your question on a separate post in case there is an expert in that field ‘lurking’ out there. Hope you find some help with this latest battle
 

Pete1

Registered User
Jul 16, 2019
802
Hi @Palerider, I'm afraid I don't have any knowledge of this area, I guess the detail will be in the agreement that your Mum and Dad signed (did they use a Solicitor) - if you have this of course. It also might be worth speaking to the Financial Assessment Team at the Local Authority they will have considerable experience in this field and may at least be able to steer you to someone who can advise (if they feel conflicted in providing advice to you directly). Sorry I can't be of more help! I hope everything is going ok with your return to work. All the best.
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
1,858
North West
Thanks @Bikerbeth and @Pete1 - I might just put it into the hands of mum and dads solicitors as they are the ones that represented on the equity release. Have to be careful with these companies and the original paperwork is a tad overwhelming. I can fill in the form for the SS, thats simpler lol.

Well as I suspected I have come down with a bad cold virus and had to leave work yesterday, got home and stayed glued to the sofa, didn't move once and now have a sore nose, stiff neck and a headache that won't shift. I'm on days off now, so am trying to get better before work on Thursday. This doesn't surprise me, after all the stress over the last 6 months my immunity must be low, I rarely get colds.
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,298
South East
I am not surprised at all, as you say you have been under a lot of stress , I swear by local honey or the other one beginning with M . Keep warm, drink plenty , why am I telling you this, you know . Take care and hope you feel better for Thursday.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
12,923
South coast
Im sorry you are feeling so rough. Im sure you are right that its due to all the stress you have been under.
Look after yourself
xx
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,425
Bedford
Sorry to hear you have come down with a bad cold. Body must have decided it needed a rest. Stay on the sofa - watch tv, listen to music, read or whatever floats your boat. I am sure everything else can wait. Hope you feel better soon
 
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DesperateofDevon

Registered User
Jul 7, 2019
2,694
@Palerider - sympathise with the whole immune system just giving up under stress!
Honey & fresh ginger & lemon, great for shifting bugs & building up your immune system.
Really do sympathise with the stress issue
Take care
X
 

anxious annie

Registered User
Jan 2, 2019
306
Hi Palerider
I hope you are feeling better and have been able to make some progress wth the solicitor. I hope too that your mum continues to be settled in her care home and you can enjoy spending Christmas together.