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A lifelong friend and me

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,246
South East
I agree , I think it’s a relief that mum is settled and I am sorry you are the one struggling, can imagine how much worse you would feel if Mum was unsettled . Hope work helps in terms of getting back in to a routine albeit a different one . Take care .
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
1,850
North West
So glad your mum is settling in well @Palerider. Good luck with going back to work.
I find the how best to support mum in her care home really tricky, and still don't think I've cracked it.
I don't think we can ever completely crack this to be honest @Sarasa. Mum still talks about home but I don't get into challenging her about that -I help her validate what home is. So I ask what home is like and who is with her etc. What her home looks like. She will remember me, but not as I am now and so I tell her the 'me' that she remembers will be here tomorrow, and I am in that moment whoever she wants me to be....its not always obvious and not alyways easy to reveal what's really in their thoughts, but I always smile at her and she reads that as a positive and the smile comes back
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
1,850
North West
It's really good to hear that your Mum is settling in @Palerider. I meant to say that I love the title of your thread it sums it up very nicely. You and your Mum's story really resonates with me (a lot of similarities). Take care and have a relaxing weekend.
Yes the thread in a way is in honour of mum, though I seem to talk a lot about me. There are a number threads and posts that resonate on here with me as well. A hard journey that life throws at us with difficult choices to make. I would do it all again if I had to as painful as it can be.

I'm not as bad today @Pete1, becoming more comfortable with this new life knowing that mum is ok.
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
1,850
North West
I agree , I think it’s a relief that mum is settled and I am sorry you are the one struggling, can imagine how much worse you would feel if Mum was unsettled . Hope work helps in terms of getting back in to a routine albeit a different one . Take care .
Thanks @Woohoo, I think I will settle eventually -time is always a good healer
 

anxious annie

Registered User
Jan 2, 2019
306
Hi, Palerider
I am so pleased to hear that your mum is settling in well at the care home. You are bound to have mixed feelings , but hope that being back at work will take your mind off anxieties for a while , and you will be able to spend quality time with your mum and know that she is being well looked after when you are not there X
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
1,850
North West
Hi, Palerider
I am so pleased to hear that your mum is settling in well at the care home. You are bound to have mixed feelings , but hope that being back at work will take your mind off anxieties for a while , and you will be able to spend quality time with your mum and know that she is being well looked after when you are not there X
Thanks @anxious annie. As the days go by I am getting better and as I see mum now it was the right thing to do in the end. When I return to work I won't have all of that worry that has gone before and will be able to focus on my job
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
1,850
North West
Tootled along to see mum today, but after I did something for me and for once without feeling guilty.

Mum was on form and spotted me and shouted me over (thinking I'm dad but getting my name right). Managed to stop her from going in someones room and said no mum your rooms upstairs. 'Oh yes' she said 'it is'.

Today she was dressed in her new trousers I bought and everything was right apart from the mans cardigan she was wearing, but I let that go because mum was convinced she had knitted it and showed me how well the zip worked (at which point I was chuckling).

I took a shoe catalogue in for a well known company and asked her to choose some new shoes that would be comfy for her swelling feet (there's a clue there guys). She enjoyed looking and choosing. Finally we narrowed her choice down to one, so I will order those for her so she can go out knowing her shoes fit on day trips.

We talked for a while about her day. having just had lunch she told me she really enjoyed her Sunday dinner and then nodded off, so I left her to have a snooze as she looked peaceful.
 

Pete1

Registered User
Jul 16, 2019
795
Hi @Palerider, I hear you. It sounds like you can have quality time now with Mum (even if she sometimes things you're her husband - been there!). That certainly was the biggest change for me, I could become the son again.

All the best,
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,407
Bedford
Glad you have had a good day today with your Mum and you managed to do something for yourself too. Hope you managed that Sunday dinner too! When do you start back to work? (And all the best for it)
 

Toony Oony

Registered User
Jun 21, 2016
570
Just popping in to say 'Hi' @Palerider - and delighted to hear that your Mum is settling so well. Hope the return to work is not too much of a nasty shock tomorrow - I bet you'll be tired when you finish. I think a celebratory something is definitely in order, either en route in, or for when you get back home - good thinking @DesperateofDevon !
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