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A lifelong friend and me

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
2,024
North West
Its not all good today. I don't know if anyone has heard the news but Warrington is going into lockdown again. Unfortunately this is where mums EMI unit is. I have had a quick chat with mums lovely nurse today and she has informed me that all visiting has been cancelled from tomorrow. It looks like I won't be visiting mum on her birthday after all :(.

I'm not sure if I can take much more of these ups n downs also having just received the solicitors bill for the purchase that didn't complete of £610.00 :mad:
 

CardiffGirlInEssex

Registered User
Oct 6, 2018
206
Its not all good today. I don't know if anyone has heard the news but Warrington is going into lockdown again. Unfortunately this is where mums EMI unit is. I have had a quick chat with mums lovely nurse today and she has informed me that all visiting has been cancelled from tomorrow. It looks like I won't be visiting mum on her birthday after all :(.

I'm not sure if I can take much more of these ups n downs also having just received the solicitors bill for the purchase that didn't complete of £610.00 :mad:
Oh @Palerider, what a rotten rollercoaster time you're having. So sorry to hear about visits being cancelled again. And it seems so unfair to have to pay the solicitors for work on something that didn't happen in the end. I feel for you, I really do.
 

Pete1

Registered User
Jul 16, 2019
887
That's simply awful @Palerider I know how much you wanted to see Mum on her birthday. It's capped off a rotten week for you.

We had to pay the solicitors fees too when our prospective buyers went to ground - it is infuriating. Quite a lot of the work could be used on the next sale though. Worth checking that with the Solicitor - in the end the two 'sales' were just over the normal fee - if that makes sense.

All the best, Stay strong,
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,639
Bedford
So many changes in such a short time. I wish you well in your new property and hope that it does become a home for you.
I hope the new buyers take the house through to completion quickly. As Pete1 says although you have a bill from the solicitors from the first ‘buyers’ maybe a lot of this work can be used for the 2nd purchasers.
So sorry to hear that visits have been cancelled especially when it is your Mum’s birthday coming up and you are so concerned about her
🤗
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
2,024
North West
Its not a good time for many of us this week, after so many months of waiting to see our loved ones in a care home. It makes me feel really sad reading the responses on other threads about care home lockdown and visitng.
I am begining to creep back to when I first tookmum to the care home and wondering 'what did I do?'. It was never meant to be like this!
I'm astonished at some of the responses from MP's as well who should know better. Lucky am I that my MP's PA has first hand experience of dementia, if she didn't maybe the responses may have been very different??

I'm wriing a website about dementia care in the UK and yes care home lockdown will be a feature. Its slow progess but the website is getting there. Alot of work for one person. If anyone wishes to contribute please PM me.
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
2,024
North West
Today I am working from home, which is a first in a long time. I am the rota coordinator, a highly political role and can of worms when writing the Xmas rota and as always there will be someone with late requests :rolleyes:.

Not much longer to go now. I am moving in the second week of October. I am hiring a removal company as I want to spend the last hours here just soaking it all up before I close the door. I don't know what to expect after that, all I know is that I am moving on and mum seems more and more distant especially with lockdown back in the mix. I think of her everyday and hope that she is peaceful in her world.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
13,690
South coast
Please look after yourself, Simon.
So many changes, so quickly, can take its toll
(((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,797
South East
The xmas rota sounds a headache 😐 Good luck with it . Sounds wise to have removal company to take the strain . I went in the morning of completion and took meter readings etc and just stood for a while absorbing everything , felt very weird to walk out the door the last time . Take care of yourself.
 

anxious annie

Registered User
Jan 2, 2019
512
Hi @Palerider
I hope your move goes smoothly next week, good idea to relieve some of the stress by having a removal van. Hopefully your next solicitors bill won't be so big considering a lot of the work has already been done. Really feel the buyers who pull out in this situation should pay costs.
Sorry to hear your mums home is on lockdown. Does this include window visits? I really don't see the science behind the risk for this, balanced against the risk to mental health of no visits. I keep emailing my MP , but get the standard reply " keeping the residents safe".
The Rights for Residents group on Facebook, Jenny and Diane are currently working on a website about care home lockdown, there are a lot of people supporting that.
 

Pete1

Registered User
Jul 16, 2019
887
Hi @Palerider, it's really difficult to let go, and I expect it will feel that way a while after you have moved out. Hopefully your new abode is another area that means you don't have to drive or walk past Mum's property.

It is dreadfully sad about the lockdown in care homes and the pain it causes to all concerned. There is no way you could have known that this situation would have occurred and Mum being at home as her condition has deteriorated would not be possible, as I'm sure you know - doesn't make any of this any easier though. By now we should have testing regime that allows one nominated family member to attend in full PPE kit (with regular testing) in a controlled sanitized space, which would give as much protection (if not more) than carers in attendance. There don't really seem to be any definitive moves to address this critical issue to the wellbeing of those with dementia and their families.

Ah, the thorny issue of determining Xmas cover........you know the phrase you can't please all of the people all of the time? I think this task is a prime example!
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
2,024
North West
For anyone that wants to make their voice heard about visiting in care homes:
 

anxious annie

Registered User
Jan 2, 2019
512
Thanks for the link @Palerider , I will do this.
I keep emailing my MP, my mums, Helen Whately, Matt etc, but getting the standard reply from some , about keeping residents safe, or just totally ignored by others.
I will keep on trying, as I know many others are too.
Maybe the local council lots will be more supportive?
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,639
Bedford
Thank you @Palerider for the link and I have sent the email personalised a little.
I hope the Xmas Rota is completed or at least version one ( I used to love working at Christmas) hopefully it won’t get to version 5.
also wishing you well with the house move although I am sure it will be hard emotionally.
So hope you can get to see your Mum again before too long
 

anxious annie

Registered User
Jan 2, 2019
512
Hi @Palerider
I hope you don't mind me posting on your thread but am trying to get as much exposure as possible to let people know that
Helen Whately , minister for health and social care is on radio 4 tonight at 8 pm on Any Questions
Please email questions to
anyquestions@bbc.co.uk
Or phone on 03700 100 444 Calls charged at 01 02 rate, tho not sure when lines open
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
2,024
North West
Hi @Palerider
I hope you don't mind me posting on your thread but am trying to get as much exposure as possible to let people know that
Helen Whately , minister for health and social care is on radio 4 tonight at 8 pm on Any Questions
Please email questions to
anyquestions@bbc.co.uk
Or phone on 03700 100 444 Calls charged at 01 02 rate, tho not sure when lines open
Thats fine, sadly I was working yesterday so missed it
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
2,024
North West
Here's a link for anyone that would like to write to their MP. Enter your postcode and it finds your MP for you ...
 

anxious annie

Registered User
Jan 2, 2019
512
Thanks @Palerider
I emailed my MP, but just get the standard reply from her saying the Government "are keeping residents safe"
They don't seem to understand the difference between merely keeping people alive, and people living a meaningful life.
My MP is completely ignoring me when I ask what is the science between denying window visits?
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
2,024
North West
Thanks @Palerider
I emailed my MP, but just get the standard reply from her saying the Government "are keeping residents safe"
They don't seem to understand the difference between merely keeping people alive, and people living a meaningful life.
My MP is completely ignoring me when I ask what is the science between denying window visits?
HI @anxious annie -look up the House of Lords see which peers have an interest and write to them and explain that your MP isn't grasping the issues you -can use the same link above to do this