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A lifelong friend and me

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Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,987
South East
Birthday wishes for your lovely mum , great to hear the flowers are lovely and that mum has curlers in 😊 Hope she enjoys her glass of bubbles later . Be nice if they could send you a picture . Take care
 

Sarasa

Registered User
Apr 13, 2018
2,042
Hope your mum has a lovely birthday even though you can't be there, and you get a picture or two.
 

lemonbalm

Registered User
May 21, 2018
883
Happy birthday to your Mum @Palerider . I missed my mum's 90th this year but sent flowers and gifts. I think having flowers delivered is a lovely treat and am sure they made your mum smile.
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
2,142
North West
A bad week and a very emotional one. I don't feel like writing much tonight, but have caught up on Johns Campaign -looks like they are going to proceed for judicial review on visiting people with dementia in care homes
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
2,142
North West
The days have become still, and I am not sure why. I am drained of all emotion, well almost. Having read the guidance for care homes (again) I took to thinking about ‘exceptional circumstances’ -a term now coined rather flippantly in the advent of Covid-19. What is an exceptional circumstance or rather what are exceptional circumstances -that all depends on which way you look at it?

I walked quickly round Sainsbury’s today. I could feel the anxiety and guilt welling up as I remembered what a trip to the shops used to be like -mum chatting to all the shop assistants and tipping chocolate items into the trolly and of course a bag of jam doughnuts. Now I avoid the bakery section and confectionary aisles because it is too much to be reminded of anything remotely close to home. I frequently get asked how mum is by the guys who work there, which some how eases me into the trip round the store as I am reminded of the purpose of feeling like this. The drive home was the usual deep in remembering the past. Ironically part the road home has finally been resurfaced after years of neglect, just as I am not going to be using it for much longer, typical.

Anyway, this this time of year means a drive through autumn trees down some of my favourite parts of the area. The sun came out and shone through the trees at various points and I felt warmed but the changed light. This is the landscape of what was once home. I don’t know why I feel like this at the moment. I have moved round and lived in various places, but it never had a reluctance to it like this does now. In time the bonds are being broken and what attachment I have left is fading. Soon there will just be memory and memories.

On Saturday I take the keys to my new abode, but I’m not ready. Home is where the heart is. Something we take so much for granted because often we do not have to experience unwelcome change. Time pushes us forward eventually; no matter how strong the grip we have in the past time’s greater force exceeds it. As mum always use to say “you must live your life”. Change is fast approaching and I am already running to catch-up with it. Are we ever ready for the next step?
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
13,949
South coast
(((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))) Simon
This is grief - to much loss too quickly.
Be gentle with yourself.
 

Pete1

Registered User
Jul 16, 2019
893
Hi @Palerider, it is so difficult - you are dealing with a lot of change on top of not being able to see Mum, I'm not surprised that you are at a low ebb. For what it's worth I do think you should be able to see Mum on the ground of 'exceptional circumstances' - is it possible the GP could support that claim (I assume she has been seen recently). Do take care of yourself, perhaps the move may be a positive catalyst, even though it may not feel like that at the moment.
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
72,134
Kent
Hello @Palerider
These changes for your mum and for you, different homes, different conditions , sperate ways, all seem to have come together and you haven`t been allowed to take them in small steps.
Please try to take care of yourself. You know you will adjust in time but time is not what you have been given.
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
2,142
North West
Well the day has arrived, another step...so today I have collected the keys to the new house. I think I chose right. It feels right and thats the main thing. First thing is that I will have to purchase a fridge/freezer the kitchen is tiny so the current fridge and freezer will have to go, which is not bad thing as the fridge needs renewing anyway. I'm not quite sure how everything is going to fit, because its a small cosy terraced house -quite compact there isn't room for dining table and chairs and other items so some decisions will have to be made.

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