A life in the day of.........................
- Thread starter Grannie G
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Sylvia how about him spitting into paper cups whilst he has the cold? Runny noses are harder to deal with. Ken reverts back to the childhood habit of wiping his nose with his jumper sleeve if no one is around to give him a tissue.
Thank goodness the paramedics are there to help you when he ends up on the floor.
xxTinaT
Thank goodness the paramedics are there to help you when he ends up on the floor.
xxTinaT
I have been using paper cups since he started needing to spit Tina but I have to get to him and hold them in place otherwise he`ll spit anywhere. It`s really awful.
And I was watching him tonight as he stirred and could see, even half asleep , he still tried to get up. And I suppose it is because he`s half asleep he falls.
And I was watching him tonight as he stirred and could see, even half asleep , he still tried to get up. And I suppose it is because he`s half asleep he falls.
If I haven`t come to the end of the road I`m almost there.
This morning.....
6am. he woke for the toilet, used the bottle.
S `Come on. Back to bed now.`
D `I`m getting up.`
S `All right.`
So dressing gown and slippers on, long slow walk down hall into living room, got him a drink, returned to bedroom to collect all paraphernalia to take to living room, tissues, wipes, waste bin, urine bottle to wash and empty, made us both a drink and then he said he wanted to sleep.
So back to bed , reverse all previous actions, fire off lights off, help him into bed and he immediately starts to get up again.
Burst into tears, too much to cope with, he screams at me for being a drama queen, help him into standing position, tell him to do what he wants and he stands there asking if I want to sleep.
I do want to sleep but am too awake now with all the to-ing and fro-ing so tell him I just want peace.
He attempts to get back in bed so I help him but he wants me to sleep too so I get back in bed. The legs start to move and he`s up again. So I get up too to help him tears of frustration pouring down my face, wondering how much more I can take.
As soon as he`s up he tries to get back to bed again but I persuaded him to sit on the chair in the bedroom, where it will be safer.
He doesn`t know what to do and I don`t know what to do.
This morning.....
6am. he woke for the toilet, used the bottle.
S `Come on. Back to bed now.`
D `I`m getting up.`
S `All right.`
So dressing gown and slippers on, long slow walk down hall into living room, got him a drink, returned to bedroom to collect all paraphernalia to take to living room, tissues, wipes, waste bin, urine bottle to wash and empty, made us both a drink and then he said he wanted to sleep.
So back to bed , reverse all previous actions, fire off lights off, help him into bed and he immediately starts to get up again.
Burst into tears, too much to cope with, he screams at me for being a drama queen, help him into standing position, tell him to do what he wants and he stands there asking if I want to sleep.
I do want to sleep but am too awake now with all the to-ing and fro-ing so tell him I just want peace.
He attempts to get back in bed so I help him but he wants me to sleep too so I get back in bed. The legs start to move and he`s up again. So I get up too to help him tears of frustration pouring down my face, wondering how much more I can take.
As soon as he`s up he tries to get back to bed again but I persuaded him to sit on the chair in the bedroom, where it will be safer.
He doesn`t know what to do and I don`t know what to do.
I don't know what to say Sylvia except you really are nearly at the end of the road, can you arrange for some urgent respite, even a few days? I hope today is peaceful for you, love Pauline xx
Oh Sylvia I am so upset for you - it's not just the physical difficulties it's the mental exhaustion too - no wonder you are at the end of your tether.
I really don't know what to suggest, although Pauline's suggestion sounded good - afterall Dhiren did quite enjoy his stay during respite.
I do hope your day improves.
Love
I really don't know what to suggest, although Pauline's suggestion sounded good - afterall Dhiren did quite enjoy his stay during respite.
I do hope your day improves.
Love
I'm in tears for you. How could anybody cope with such restless behaviour???? I'm sure I would be screaming like a banshee by now.
My mother walks up and down, going to bed, not going to bed, yes she will, no she won't but all of this is under her own steam and I'm not physically involved.
Where are those night-sitters for you?
love Carolyn xx
My mother walks up and down, going to bed, not going to bed, yes she will, no she won't but all of this is under her own steam and I'm not physically involved.
Where are those night-sitters for you?
love Carolyn xx
Morning Sylvia,
You sound at the end of your tether and it's not surprising...you can't go on like this for much longer without proper sleep.
Emergency respite springs to mind immediately. Or night sitters..or back down the medication route which brings its own problems.
While this may be a passing phase with Dhiren, there's no way of knowing just how long the phase will last.
I hope you manage some rest today.
Love xx
You sound at the end of your tether and it's not surprising...you can't go on like this for much longer without proper sleep.
Emergency respite springs to mind immediately. Or night sitters..or back down the medication route which brings its own problems.
While this may be a passing phase with Dhiren, there's no way of knowing just how long the phase will last.
I hope you manage some rest today.
Love xx
Dear Sylvia
You sound at the end of your tether- I am amazed at your resolve to continue to care for Dhiren at home but at what cost? Your health and wellbeing are important too!
Perhaps it is time to bring respite forward?
Sorry for being outspoken
Love julie xx
You sound at the end of your tether- I am amazed at your resolve to continue to care for Dhiren at home but at what cost? Your health and wellbeing are important too!
Perhaps it is time to bring respite forward?
Sorry for being outspoken
Love julie xx
Dear Sylvia:
How I feel your desperation! You know only too well this is the sort of behaviour that eventually necessitated David going to a NH
But if you can get night sitting for say 3 nights a week, then maybe you can manage for longer. Sadly I did not have this facility, plus by then he needed 2 people not just one!
I do hope you can get help, Sylvia - you do need it.
Love
How I feel your desperation! You know only too well this is the sort of behaviour that eventually necessitated David going to a NH
But if you can get night sitting for say 3 nights a week, then maybe you can manage for longer. Sadly I did not have this facility, plus by then he needed 2 people not just one!
I do hope you can get help, Sylvia - you do need it.
Love
Dear Sylvia,
I have just read what is happening and it is all ringing very loud bells with me. It is impossible to sustain this and so I am wondering whether you will consider letting Dhiren have just a couple of days and nights at the care home just for you to get a proper breather.
Sending lots of love x
I have just read what is happening and it is all ringing very loud bells with me. It is impossible to sustain this and so I am wondering whether you will consider letting Dhiren have just a couple of days and nights at the care home just for you to get a proper breather.
Sending lots of love x
Dear Sylvia,
Yet another terrible night for you. I can understand how you feel you are nearing the end of the road. I feel for both of you. Dhiren seems so totally confused and you are exhausted and cannot enter his world.
As usual, no advice as this is beyond my experience but am thinking of you and sending a big ((((Hug)))).
Love,
Jeanne.
Yet another terrible night for you. I can understand how you feel you are nearing the end of the road. I feel for both of you. Dhiren seems so totally confused and you are exhausted and cannot enter his world.
As usual, no advice as this is beyond my experience but am thinking of you and sending a big ((((Hug)))).
Love,
Jeanne.
You are right Sylvia, you need to get help for yourself. You are reaching carer burn out. See if you can get emergency respite to give you time to think. It may be that you need to reintroduce the medication that you believed may have helped Dirhen to sleep well. Perhaps more/longer respite may help. Or maybe the time has come for permanent care. But you need sleep and rest for you to think clearly.
I am worried about you. love, Tilly
I am worried about you. love, Tilly
I second that, Jan.
I think you're right to view it as a danger signal, Sylvia. There's only so much you can do without enough sleep.
Tilly has a good point..sleep and rest are necessary before you can see this clearly.
Love xx
I think you're right to view it as a danger signal, Sylvia. There's only so much you can do without enough sleep.
Tilly has a good point..sleep and rest are necessary before you can see this clearly.
Love xx
Sylvia I am so sorry for your despair. In your position I would choose nightsitters any time. It is obvious to us all and yourself that you cannot go on like this for much longer. Something has to give. I can understand how hard it is to make changes, but feel you have no choice. Please consider your options for both yours sake. Take care x
Dear Sylvia, I could echo Beckyjan's post.
It was lack of mobility and falls that led to Lionel going into permanent care. Day centre would not/could not cope, so that service was withdrawn.
I know what you mean by danger signal though.
It was lack of mobility and falls that led to Lionel going into permanent care. Day centre would not/could not cope, so that service was withdrawn.
I know what you mean by danger signal though.
Der Sylvia, You sound so exhausted I hope you can get the help you need to give you some sleep.
Love and hugs
Shelagh
Love and hugs
Shelagh
Dear Sylvia - I so recognise the point you have reached with Dhiren. I do hope you can sort out more help to deal with him very soon as it is clearly too much for you at the moment.
Just a thought - is the chair that Dhiren sleeps in during the day a recliner? I bought one for Brian two years ago (it was more to do then with fluid collecting in his lower legs) and I now find it something of a godsend in that he sleeps in it, with his feet raised, far better than with his feet to the floor. Only short naps with his feet down, but up to two or three hours with his feet up and a light blanket over his legs. He has on occasions thought it to be his bed ... But I understand of course that if the real problem for Dhiren (and you, dear Sylvia) is that he simply does not stay asleep for very long be it night or day, then a recliner chair will not solve anything. Just hoping to help.
Love, Nan XXX
Just a thought - is the chair that Dhiren sleeps in during the day a recliner? I bought one for Brian two years ago (it was more to do then with fluid collecting in his lower legs) and I now find it something of a godsend in that he sleeps in it, with his feet raised, far better than with his feet to the floor. Only short naps with his feet down, but up to two or three hours with his feet up and a light blanket over his legs. He has on occasions thought it to be his bed ... But I understand of course that if the real problem for Dhiren (and you, dear Sylvia) is that he simply does not stay asleep for very long be it night or day, then a recliner chair will not solve anything. Just hoping to help.
Love, Nan XXX
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