A life in the day of.........................

[jude1950]

Well said Cliff .
I too post with the knowledge that although this is a public forum my thoughts and words are for the members of this forum I would not be happy to see anything I say or post used in any publication.
Judith

 

[Grannie G]

Dear Cliff and Judith,

I absolutely agree with both of you.

It would be dreadful if any of us felt so inhibited in future posts, we felt we had to watch what we said. That in itself would negate the mutual support which is so precious to us all.

Love xx

 

[Margarita]

I am at this moment in time am lost for words , just pleased with the words of all the moderators also

Sylvia It would be dreadful if any of us felt so inhibited in future posts

Mum at the moment is very confused unsettle , with an extra day at day center , thinking they cutting a day out of her day at day center , going to respite on monday and not going to day - center .

Then she ask me if I understand her had to say No [ she know she getting it all wrong]............. No I don't because her thought are all over the place , she worrying about next week , then back to tomorrow , god if I never had TP would feel so lost in not understanding , this thread help me with that understanding ....its the disease , its the disease .

PS took me over an hour [ also talking to mum ] just to write that all OK , she just can't take Change

 

[Cliff]

Dear Margarita,

You are right. TP is so helpful when you want to say something or express your feelings. It has made me feel much better.

I do hope you are able settle everything for your Mum on Monday - it must be very worrying for you.

With love

 

[Amy]

Hiya,
Just a word of caution.
I think it is absolutely right that words from TP should not be used for peoples books, but also we need to be aware of the changing membership. Things that we share at one time, with what we consider to be trustworthy friends, may seem inappropriate later.

I know for me I have at times felt that I have bared my soul; if the dynamics change you may be left with a feeling of betrayal.

Think all members need to remind themselves that this is a public forum; that people we believe that we know, we dont really; that anyone can be reading the parts of your soul that you are laying bare.

Best wishes to all.
Helen

 

[Margarita]

I do hope you are able settle everything for your Mum on Monday

thank - you Cliff

Amy that anyone can be reading the parts of your soul that you are laying bare.

Amy soul that you are laying bare.

I don't really mind , because its a metaphor .

So shall keep sharing

 

[Amy]

Hiya Maggie,
That is good - I hope that you do keep posting - TP would not be the same without you.
Love Helen

 

[Margarita]

Oh Mel that very kind lovely of you to say that , but TP would would be the same without me , or anyone on TP , life always move on people on TP move on , because life just changes people anyway , living grief with AZ change us also grief of death changes us . change is scary , give us fear , so we can stick live in fear , hurt , because we feel safe in it .

best advice you ever gave me is a long as we recognize it why I was having that fag , I perceived it as meaning recognize what we are feeling

 

[christine_batch]

Here on T.P. I can write and express exactly how I am feeling and things that I have written I have not even told my 4 children because I have not wanted them to worry more than they do now. on a personal note, I would be devestated as my children know I depend on T.P. to read some of the things I have been going through with my husband who is in the final stages. We are very close but to read something I had expressed they would be so upset that I did not tell them. I am Secretary of our local A.S. and we do a lot to promote awareness as many others do. To have our world open for others I personally would not like.
Sorry if I have offended any one. Christine

 

[Grannie G]

Dear Christine,

I have no wish to upset you, but I do hope you realize this is a Public Forum and anyone can log in.

It states so clearly, at the top of the Front Page.

Please note this is a public forum - any messages posted can be viewed freely by anyone with access to the internet, therefore we recommend that you register using a pseudonym or nickname to ensure anonymity.

I do hope you realized that.

Love xx

 

[Skye]

To have our world open for others I personally would not like.

Christine, I'm afraid that's just the point. Our world is open to everyone. Anyone, anywhere in the world, can log on to TP and read the posts, without even registering. Your children may be reading your posts without your knowledge. If you have used your own name, and given your town, it would be easy to find you. It's scary.

That's why we're constantly warned to be careful what we say.

 

[christine_batch]

Thank You

Dear Grannie G,
Thank you for your reply. I do take on board what you are saying and agree entirely with you. Although it is no excuse, my disability is really bag, Peter in the final stages, my son out of remission, Grandson off to Iraq and to top it all my daughter's partner of 11 years has left her and the children and I am trying to stay strong for everyone. I know so many people of T.P. have the same stress, anxieties and I do apologise, the last thing I would do is to upset anyone.
Thank you once again for pointing that out.
Best Wishes. Christine

 

[christine_batch]

Sorry Hazel,
I put Grannie G instead of you.
Apologies. Christine

 

[Amy]

Dear Christine,
You are trying to cope with so much at present - do not apologise for sharing.
You are staying strong for everyone - who is strong for you? You must try and find someone/group for you to lean on. Hopefully TP goes part way to providing that.
Love Helen

 

[Skye]

Dear Christine

Absolutely no need to apologise, you didn't upset me. I wasn't criticising you, honestly, just pointing out that we all need to be careful what we say.

I know how much you have on your plate, and it's great that you post here. I hope you are getting as much support as you give.

Love,

 

[christine_batch]

tHANK YOU FOR THAT..

Dear Helen,
The people who are helping me at present is T.P. my local A.S. Branch and love of my children and grandchildren. I let Peter know every time I visit that I love him, keep him up to-date with family matters but he falls asleep or goes of wandering, muttering God only knows what he is saying. Instead of a man of 62 who looks like he is in his late 80 early 90. The only comfort is that for the 12 years out of the 16 we have been married, Peter said now I have everything in my life I have ever wanted and I am loved for myself. My children adore their step-father and he was always a hands on Grandad.
Take care of yourself . Best Wishes. Christine

 

[Amy]

I have everything in my life I have ever wanted and I am loved for myself

He was a very lucky man.
Love helen

 

[christine_batch]

We are the lucky ones being loved by him.

Hello Helen,
Thank you for that but we were the lucky ones when Peter married into the family. Mad, fun, happy family but all very close. As this a life in the day of....
I would like to share this. I was married at 17, first child at 19, second at 21. Then I found out my husband was having an affair with someone 19 years older than me - divorced him. Still had the children. a year after the divorce I met someone 10 years older than me, he had never been married before. So we got married. Had two children by that marriage but it was 18 years old mental abuse. So with the childrens' support, I divorced him. I am now beigining to sound like Liz Taylor. A pyhsicic told me I would meet my soul mate on my door step. No way was I going down that path again. Both my daughters' and daughter in law had other ideas. At the time I had been housebound for 2 years. I was selling the house so needed some work to do on it. Telephoned this man and he sounded someone i could feel safe with. Peter turned up, 2 pots of tea and 3 hours latter, it was as if I had know him all my life. Phoned the girls to tell them he had asked me out for a drink(don't drink but he was so tender,caring etc., divorced his wife for countless affairs. My eldest son was livid. Came over to meet him what are your intentions with my Mother? The stranges thing we were sole mates . So the WHY comes into it, why Peter. Was it lifes strange plan that for 12 years until A.D. he knew what real love and family life is like? Just thought I would share this with you, hope you do not mind. Sorry it is long but that you for reading.
Very best wishes. Christine

 

[Amy]

Christine you must stop apologising for everything that you write.
We will settle on you were both lucky - finding your soul mate is a precious and rare occurrence -12 years....you have a lot to feel thankful for. And hopefully that 12 years has given you the strength to see through what you have to.
Love Helen

 

[Margarita]

christine Had two children by that marriage but it was 18 years old mental abuse. So with the childrens' support, I divorced him.

Sound more like it was life plan for YOU to find real love with someone . Dementia can never take that love you both felt for each other away , because yes it take his memories of your time together , but now your his keeper of his loving memories you both shared , feeling . No one can take that away from YOU .... best wishes for the future maybe just maybe perceiving it like that it give you confront in the future