A life in the day of.........................

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Margarita

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Feb 17, 2006
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S `Your hands feel so cold. Shall I turn the fire higher?`
D `It`s all right.......How would you be able to lift it?`

shall I turn the fire higher?

Now "D " made a good point there :)but then I would say that , because my daughters are always saying to me I make up my own Pronunciation in the English language, for a word .

My mother can get away with it, because she got a Spanish ascent, but I have a English ascent.

Then when it come to understanding it learning it was the worse, .

You got the Cockney English then the queen English, in where I was living in London

As the girls at school would say " She got a bun in the oven " when I ask someone what that meant, they all had a good lol that I did not know what it meant I felt so :eek:

Now was I meant to know it meant, that someone was pregnant.
 
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TinaT

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Sep 27, 2006
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Well Maggie, imagine me trying to say I was embarrassed in Spanish but not knowing the word and using the English one instead.

EMBARAZADO - means to be pregnant!!!

No wonder my Spanish friends laughed at me!!!

Words which sound the same but have completely different meaning are called 'false friends'!

You soon learn the lingo when you are in another country but never get things completely right.

Did you come to England as a small child Maggie?

xxTinaT
 

Grannie G

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Apr 3, 2006
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Such a strange happening last night.

Dhiren woke at 12.45am. I was getting ready for bed. He was standing in the doorway of the bedroom looking puzzled.
S `What`s wrong?`
D `I can`t get out.`
S `What do you mean?`
D `I`m blocked in. I can`t get out.`

He was looking from the bedroom door, first down the hall and then into the bedroom................

D `They want to get in but I have to get out first and I can`t. I`m blocked in.`
S `I don`t understand what you`re saying........just walk out, there`s lots of room.`
D `I can`t. There`s no room. They are waiting to come in but I can`t get out.`
S `Come with me. I`ll take you out.`
D exasperated, `Can`t you see. There`s no room.`

And he threw the quilt back and tugged at the mattress, I thought he was going to pull it off the base.

S `The bed doesn`t have to get out. It stays in here, this is the bedroom.`
D `But there`s no room to get in and I can`t get out.`

And he started to gesture as a traffic controller would, asking traffic to give way.
He was beginning to get cross with me because I couldn`t help him.
So I took his hand and led him down the hall, showing him there was plenty of room.
But he was looking up and down the hall, and round the corner, as if he was weighing it up to see if there was enough space to manoeuvre .

And then he gave up.

But he was still very confused and I managed to persuade him back to bed although he still insisted others were waiting to come in.

And I kept repeating there were no others waiting to come in. This was our house and no-one else was here. This was the bedroom and the bed stayed here all the time.

And he said `I`m very confused.` And he slept.
 

Mameeskye

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Aug 9, 2007
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Sylvia

(((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))

I remember trying to understand things that Mum said and why, but I couldn't. I think that the brain wiring gets so muddled up that we can't help, just do as you do and try, because it makes you feel better then a little distraction and hope that it works.

You do so well.

Love

Mameeskye
 

gigi

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Nov 16, 2007
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Morning Sylvia!

Do you think Dhiren was thinking the bed was a car again?

D `I`m blocked in. I can`t get out.`
.....It sounds a bit like a driving thing....

And he started to gesture as a traffic controller would, asking traffic to give way.

I wonder if he dreams about his driving days....

Love gigi xx
 

Grannie G

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He is certainly obsessed with driving and work but also very confused.

He woke and got up at 9am. Bundled his clothes into a neat roll and said;
D `I`ll put these on the back seat.`
S `What back seat?`
D `The back seat of the car to go home.`
S `We are home. Open the curtains and look out of the window.`
D `OH! That`s my gate! This is our home!. We don`t have to go anywhere.`
And he stood at the window for a good five minutes, soaking it in and repeating to himself;
`That`s my gate.
That`s my garden.
This is home.
I don`t have to go anywhere.
I sold the car.
I don`t have to work.
I know now.`
 

Margarita

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Feb 17, 2006
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I think that the brain wiring gets so muddled up that we can't help,

That what I find with my mother, so the only reaction left to them is to get angry with us.

as that what happening to my mother, but something to do with Knitting needles ( long story) .

And I kept repeating there were no others waiting to come in. This was our house and no-one else was here. This was the bedroom and the bed stayed here all the time.

And he said `I`m very confused.` And he slept.

My mother will never admit that she confused, that could be Just down to my mother being further down the Journey with her Demetria.

So am pleased to read that , " D " settle and fall asleep.

How are you this morning? did " D " Sleep all night ?

Did you come to England as a small child Maggie?

Yes I did not speak a world of English till I started to go to nursery in UK till I was 5.

Mum could not talk any English, when she arrived into the UK, My Father English was better , he Integrated with the British people better then my mother did .Mum attitude was to give people a gob full of Spanish & if they never understood it was there problem not her :D :rolleyes:
Then when I only wanted to speak in English to my mother, mum was finding it hard to understand me .
My mother come up with, sending me back to Gibraltar live with her sister at the age of 11, to be school out there , so I keep the Spanish . Which has left me with; I just can’t understand my mother mentality to do that to me as a child, rather than putting me into Spanish classes in UK .
 
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Skye

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Aug 29, 2006
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Sylvia, it sounds as if it's getting worse again. Do you think it's time to contact Terry again? It sounds as if Dhiren is hallucinating.:(

It must be so distressing for you -- and for him of course. Terrifying to feel that other people have taken over your own home.

Love,
 

Helen33

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Jul 20, 2008
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Hello Sylvia

How are you Sylvia? It did sound likely that Dhiren was experiencing some association with a car. It makes me wonder whether it might have started with a dream. I've had dreams in the past which are hard to shake off because they seem so real upon awakening. Whatever the cause, it is very disturbing for both of you.

I was up nearly all night because I could not sleep. I spent quite some time reading that agitation document that someone posted a link to ages ago and I found it really helpful in encouraging me to make some changes. It is now nearly lunchtime and I am not even washed and dressed:(

Hope you have a good day.

Love
 

Grannie G

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It is now nearly lunchtime and I am not even washed and dressed
Oh Helen, if you knew how helpful it was to read that.
I feel a mess, I look a mess, the house is a mess and all I do is sit.....at the computer, crocheting squares, doing crosswords and eating.

Although Dhiren is still so much easier to live with he has started to follow me round the house. This means I can`t get anything done as he`s always in the way and doesn`t know to move.

I do think he had been dreaming.....he is always confused on waking, no matter what time it is , or how long a sleep he`s had.

Hazel, I am in regular contact with Terry. He still reads my posts on TP and is well aware of all Dhiren`s behaviours. He still visits every two weeks.

Dhiren does seem to be hallucinating and he does feel there are others either in the house or waiting to come in.
But he is still more contented and peaceful than before.
It`s hard to explain the situation clearly. In some ways he is more confused and in others calmer.
 

Helen33

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Jul 20, 2008
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Hello again Sylvia

feel a mess, I look a mess, the house is a mess and all I do is sit.....at the computer, crocheting squares, doing crosswords and eating.
Me too but I have added doing jigsaws to the regime. I can relate very much to Dhiren following you around - Alan is like a shadow and every time I turn round he is there. God knows how we'll get on in a narrowboat:eek: Alan said he was tired so I encouraged him to have a lie down and he is now asleep. This is new because he hasn't been up long. The agitation document did encourage regular rests during the day. Alan feels that there are others in the house but I am pretty sure that this is a result of the t.v. (which I hardly have on now), radio, mirrors, seeing people walk by outside rather than actually 'seeing' as in hallucinating.

Our lives as carers are so changed (and continue to change) that many meaningful and fulfilling things have to be sidelined and replaced by what is actually possible - hence computer, knitting, crocheting, eating. They can be enjoyable but are probably not what we would be doing if there were real choice and I suspect, in my case, they are ways of staving off depression;) However, we do well my friend:)

Love
 

Grannie G

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.
They can be enjoyable but are probably not what we would be doing if there were real choice and I suspect,
Oh! How true Helen!

I went to the High Street this morning for a few bits. The High Street leads down to the sea.
Even though it was so bleak, it was still, and not too cold. I`d have loved to have walked along the front for a while, then gone for a coffee, looking out to sea.
Never mind. If I`d been able to do that it would have probably meant I`d be coming home to an empty house.

Dhiren is sundowning now, examining his bank books, asking about his pension, upset because he is not handling his own money but then said,
`I don`t mean anything bad when I talk about money. I`m not complaining. I don`t want to hurt you.`
 
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nellbelles

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Nov 6, 2008
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I think we all have cabin fever..:(
I walked down the garden and back just to get out of the house this morning.
Oh for us all to have some sunshine to break this monotony..:)
What would we do without the virtual world of TP
Sunshine.. Love and hugs
Helen
 

gigi

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Nov 16, 2007
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Hello Sylvia....

Even though it was so bleak, it was still, and not too cold. I`d have loved to have walked along the front for a while, then gone for a coffee, looking out to sea.

Am with you in spirit on that one....:cool:

But the sea will always be there....;)

Our lives as carers are so changed (and continue to change) that many meaningful and fulfilling things have to be sidelined and replaced by what is actually possible
...How true those words are, Helen...and how quickly our circumstances can and do change...

And yet in other ways things happen so insidiously that before we know it we too are housbound with our loved ones..and taking on more and more of their care. I seem to have "grown" into it because of Eric's initial slow decline...

I know it's not the case for everyone..

Helen...I hope your Barge Break is successful and you have some good times with Alan...:)

Sylvia...
I don`t mean anything bad when I talk about money. I`m not complaining. I don`t want to hurt you.`
Dhiren still has such insight at times...and he does seem to be calmer with the medication.


Hope you both have peaceful evenings.

love gigi xx
 

Grannie G

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Apr 3, 2006
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The two Sylvias are back.

D `Do you know where my wife is?`
S `I`m your wife.`
D `I mean Sylvia my wife.`
S `I`m Sylvia your wife.`
D `No. I mean the other Sylvia.`
S `There`s only one Sylvia, and that`s me.`
D `There are two Sylvias. I have two wives.`
S `Where is the other Sylvia?`
D `At the other house.`
S `What does she look like?`
D `She looks the same as you.`
 

BeckyJan

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Nov 28, 2005
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Hello Sylvia:
In a strange way I am glad for you that the two Sylvias look alike ;););) If they were different you might be a little worried.

It is hard to know how Dhiren's brain is working. I wonder why two Sylvias and yet you look the same :confused::confused::confused:

I have got it!!! You are worth two Sylvia's packed into one - like getting two for the price of one!!!! Can you handle that thought?

Not trying to make fun, Sylvia, as I know how heart wrenching all this is. Lots of love and support coming from me.

Love Jan
 

Grannie G

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Apr 3, 2006
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Thank you Helen and Jan

I think the two Sylvias fit into the two homes.
He has been really confused again tonight about this house. Where is the toilet? Where do I sleep? How long will we stay here? When do we go home?
So perhaps one Sylvia here and one Sylvia there makes it easier for him.

At least he is talking `we` and not `I`.

When we were in the living room he was worried my bag was in the bedroom in case someone came in and `pinched ` it. He has put his clothes in the linen basket but his belt is in his bedside cupboard in case someone comes in during the night.

And he needed so much help, undressing and putting pyjamas on.

And Jan......I look like two Sylvias packed into one. :eek: Bulky was a good choice of word.
 

Helen33

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Jul 20, 2008
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Hi Sylvia

So perhaps one Sylvia here and one Sylvia there makes it easier for him.

That is a brilliant insight Sylvia. It would be very positive if Dhiren were to experience you positively in whichever mindset.

Love
 

lesmisralbles

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Nov 23, 2007
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Hello Silvia

It is the dressing and undressing I cannot understand.

It is getting harder for me to lift Ron to dress/undress him.
His leg's are not supporting his body, they can when I get him up, but it is like his brain is not talking to his leg's, or other part's of him, "except for food":(.
I cannot remember who posted that it is like going backward's, unlearning all that has been learnt over the year's. A baby learn's, an alzheimer's person, unlearn's.

I hope your night goes well.

Barb x Ron XX and for tonight Mum ZZ
 
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